Poll Position: More Wolverwanking

We've discussed what the most interesting matchups would be for Wolverine, but when it comes right down to it, regardless of how "interesting" it would be to see:


Discussion after the jump.

  • Reed Richards: You know how I like pitting brains against brawn, and in the Marvel Universe you'd have to go far to find a better exemplar of the stereotype than these two gentlemen. I also like that Reed's from the original Marvel stable, while Wolverine is a later addition, so you get the crusty old guy versus the tough-talking new guy. Look, Logan's tough and all, and yes he can regenerate, but Reed has the physical abilities to avoid disembowelment (does he even have bowels any more, or is it plastic through and through? And are his bowel movements also elastic? I need to stop now. Ew.) long enough for whatever insane invention he comes up with to annihilate the rogue Canadian. Dude stopped Galactus in his tracks, I don't think Wolverine has much of a shot. On the other hand, Logan's very sneaky, and Reed's fairly oblivious sometimes, so it's possible we could get a shocker one-shot from behind that Mister Fantastic never sees coming.
  • Magneto: Been there and tried that. No matter how Magneto tries to rip the metal from Wolverine's bones, the little guy always manages to come out on top.
  • Juggernaut: Again, we've seen this matchup before. I think it will take more than sheer brawn to kill Wolverine. Leave even a little blood behind and you're doomed.
  • Batman: People often think Batman has no super powers, but this is false. He in fact has the one greatest super-power of all -- a committed fan base, and the ability to take down people in weight classes so far above him he should look more like Bat Mite to them. And yet, he gets it done over and over again. I wouldn't put anything past Bruce.
  • Human Torch: When your problem is making sure not one cell remains intact to regenerate your enemy, I'd say being able to generate heat on the order of a nova would be a good place to start.
  • Namor: You have to think Namor could just carry Wolverine down into the deepest trench in the ocean and leave him there under a rock. I mean, he can't regenerate air in his lungs, can he? Of course, then he wouldn't really be dead, would he? Defeat yes, death no.
  • Jean Gray: Unless she manages to summon the Dark Phoenix again -- again -- I don't see this happening. TK is nice and all, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't have the sheer withering force to disintegrate a guy, which is what this job would take.
  • Cyclops: I'd like to see him try, fail, then get Jean Gray to save his narrow butt again -- again -- because let's be honest, he's kind of a douche.

So out of that list, I think your best shot is with Reed Richards for the mental gymnastics to invent something appropriate; Batman because Batman; and the Human Torch, with the nova and the heat and the hey hey. I think Reed and the Torch would get sucker-punched before they knew they were in a fight, leaving only Batman as the most realistic foe who could kill Wolverine. Of course Batman doesn't kill, which renders the point moot.

Who do you think would be best suited for the task?