Lightstar is VERY excited to meet you

For those of you lucky enough to have missed out on 1990's-era super-hero propaganda, I can now sum up the entire experience with this following image from a free comic book promoting an exciting Saturday morning cartoon* and toy tie-in on CBS featuring a super-powered children's super-hero character with gigantic metal spikes for nipples that stick out of a skull's eye sockets:


And people wonder what's wrong with my generation.

(Image and character ©1994, Landmark Entertainment Group.)

*Back In The Day we only got cartoons for about four hours on Saturday mornings, so suck it, children of today!

17 Responses to Lightstar is VERY excited to meet you

  1. Niall Mor says:

    “Here, child let me give you a hug . . . Ooops! Sorry about that eye.”

  2. Hakoon1 says:

    “*Back In The Day we only got cartoons for about four hours on Saturday mornings, so suck it, children of today!”

    Hey! I’m a children of today!

  3. TopHat says:

    Ya know Jeff, I think you’d get along quite well with comic reviwer Linkara:

  4. Well that explains why giant people with skulls on their chests keep trying to hug me.

  5. Danny Beaty says:

    That costume is ridiculous!

  6. redvector says:

    I believe the show and toy line was call Skeletars.

  7. Jeff Hebert says:

    The logo in the comic and the copyright info all reads “Skeleton Warriors”, but maybe when it actually aired, or when they put the toy packaging together, they changed it to Skeletars, I don’t know. That doesn’t appear anywhere in this particular comic, though.

  8. John says:

    That made my brain hurt.

  9. Lightstar always had a thing for Greyskull:

    “BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL…” boinkbadoink! “oops.”

  10. Jigglypuff says:

    The costume Lightstar sports here had potential, but it was ruined by the eye-spikes and the superflous details all over it, including the mismatched thigh armor. I think it would have been more successful if the armor were more matched on both sides. Also getting rid of the eyespikes would greatly improve it. I would also suggest toning down the shinpad’s design, or better still, making them solid black, with a single stripe running down the length. That might reduce the cluttering details by one-thirds.

  11. Loki says:

    …What the Fug?

  12. the creator says:

    is he wearing slippers?? because it sure looks that way.

  13. Jeff Hebert says:

    @the creator (#12): You know, you might be right, because I noticed that in one illustration of the main bad guy, he’s wearing what have got to be flip-flops, complete with bone toe thong holders. Weird.

    He’s coming up in next week’s installment, he’s a living skeleton, complete with a skull instead of a head, wearing a skull ON his head, with a skull on a necklace and shoulder pads made entirely of skulls. Because if something’s worth doing, it’s worth OVERdoing.

  14. PCFDPGrey says:

    Never trust a guy with nipples on his armor. Also, the bigger the nipples, the less trust you should put in the guy.

    Now, why couldn’t the chick have had nipples on HER armor?

  15. NGpm says:

    What’s on his head? Is that a band-aid? Was he slightly injured by putting on the “even my nipples are dangerous” armor?
    Where in the entire design of his armor do we get “Lightstar”?
    Maybe “Lightheaded” after hitting himself in the head with nipple spikes … that might explain the uneven coverage of the rest of the armor.

  16. X-stacy says:

    Hey, I used to watch that show! Man, did it suck. And not in a pleasant way like Biker Mice from Mars, either.

  17. kingmonkey says:

    I’m with NGpm; how do we get “Lightstar” from this get-up? Nothing about it says “light” or “star”. Skullnips, maybe; Lightstar, no.

    Man, the only way way this could be more ’90s would be if his (mismatched) shoulder pads were as large as the woman next to him (whose rib-cage-over-my-boobs motif is simply lovely, by the way).