Poll Position: Haveatar

Your Poll Position for the week is:


To be clear, the world of the comics character is real. You would continue living your life here in our reality, but you could go into a cyber tank and take control over the target's body, which would lie inert and lifeless while you were not jacked in. So basically it would be their body and your mind, but only while you're awake and in the pod.

So given that, let's talk about what selection you'd make.

  • Green Lantern: They key here is that you're literally taking over the entire being, so it's not like you're "running" Hal Jordan (or whoever the hell is running the ring nowadays) -- it's you in their body. So the question would be whether or not you personally have the willpower to be a GL. Your consciousness and willpower, not Jordan's, will be behind the power.
  • Batman: Like GL, this sounds good until you think about what makes Batman THE BATMAN. It's not so much the toys or the money, it's that brilliantly dark and implacable mind. You put Bruce Wayne's consciousness in a twelve year old girl's body, and I guarantee you the criminal underworld would be cowed within six months. On the other hand, you give me the Batmobile and utility belt and inside six months it'll be wrecked and I'll have accidentally hanged myself from a building while trying to swing away.
  • Hulk: On the other hand, there's not much skill or will involved with being Big Mean Green. Or Red. Gray. Purple? Whatever, even a nimrod like me could be an effective Hulk, as I am capable of remembering the Hulk Prime Directive: SMASH!!
  • Lobo: Lobo's got a nice power set, a great bike, and tons of contacts who know how to have a good time. If you're the hedonist sort, this is a compelling choice. On the flip side, he's also got a rather intimidating enemies list.
  • Punisher: The key question here is whether the skills of firing a gun are instincts built into the body (in which case you'd be fine) or if they're primarily mental (in which case you're not). Regardless, I always thought Frank Castle's life was pretty damn depressing, and I can't imagine having to live it even by proxy.
  • Spider-Man: Spider-Man's powers seem pretty straightforward to master, or at least to get familiar enough with for you to be able to survive. He's got a modest but livable real life that I could understand. It wouldn't be that different from being me, only with the benefit of some pretty cool super-abilities. A very tempting choice.
  • Superman: Unlike Batman or GL, almost all of Superman's powers are built in to the body. So even if they take a while for you to master, who cares, you're invulnerable! However, Superman doesn't need to sleep, but you do. So those eight hours a night while you're catching Z's back here in the real world, Metropolis, Lois, Jimmy, and the rest of the world are without its mightiest defender.
  • Thor: Thor's got awesome powers, worshipers, a kingdom at his beck and call, and few responsibilities otherwise. On the down side, he's got gods and monsters hungry for his head. He also has a lot of responsibilities as king, and would probably be awakened during the night while you were crashed out. Not a problem if you don't actually give a crap about a bunch of spoiled Asgardians, but responsibility is responsibility, you know?
  • Wolverine: Logan, of course, has no responsibilities. He's a free agent mostly, able to do what he wants when he wants. He can't be killed, and he kicks ass, and he gets to smoke cigars.

From a fun standpoint, I'd probably be Wolverine. You have to love his powers, and he doesn't have a lot of the baggage that goes with it. You'd be able to make a new (fake) life with him, leaving behind the baggage of his personal past, without taking on a lot of responsibilities.

Superman has the sweetest power set, of course, but I don't think I could take leaving the world without help for however long each night or day. Plus you've got the whole reporter job, villains hungry to take you out, Lois nattering on all day, blah blah blah.

But I'd probably choose Spider-Man. He's got a pretty decent regular life, he lives in a cool city and has access to all the normal-people things you'd want in a life while not out super-heroing, and his powers are fun.

Which would you choose, and why?

9 Responses to Poll Position: Haveatar

  1. Demented The Clown says:

    Supermans The Strongest So I Pick Him, I’d Misuse His X-Ray Vision Though…

  2. Runt82 says:

    I chose the Hulk, because smashing things is a good way to relieve stress during the day.

  3. Mr.MikeK says:

    I went with the Hulk. Besides being a childhood favorite, he’s someone you can show up, save the day, and then put him away when you’re done. The only possible downside would be if the the choice came with out of control rage and emotions. I hope that having a (relatively) normal human mind would be more comparable to the Professor Hulk than to the raging green goliath of most of his run.

    I considered Superman, but there’s more to being him than just awesome powers. Apart from what Jeff mentioned, Superman is a symbol, one of those archetypal characters that represents the best the DC Universe has to offer. Being that good all the time would be too much pressure for most of us mere mortals.

  4. cavalier says:

    Hulk, since he has the shortest learning curve and most straightforward power set. The Hulk is devastating any day, but when he has brains he’s nearly unstoppable.

  5. JWMan says:

    I agree with Jeff’s character analysis, but I think the overall Avatar experience would be best suited for Superman. IMO. He has the most powers separate from us humans (flight – like legs for Jake, strength, speed, vision, etc.) . Plus, when you think about it, Clark Kent is Jake Sully from Avatar and Superman is his Avatar. So in this situation, cut out the middle man… Clark Kent b/c essentially that would be my role in this situation.

    As dark as it sounds, either kill off the Clark Kent persona or have him leave the country (Superman Returns). I’m not attached to Lois, Jimmy or the rest… Clark is. Thus solving the leaving the world defenseless while not in the Superman-Avatar. I’d live my life and when it hit the fan, jump into Superman. I do agree that Wolverine would be pretty awesome, but I would think the mental/physical aspect would apply to enduring the healing after battles and claws coming out, plus the possible lack of fighting skills (ie: Batman, Punisher).

  6. kingmonkey says:

    I went with Thor. Aside from the basic facets of his physical powers (strength, near-indestructability, flight, storm-powers, a big hammer) he has one power which I would really love– traveling through dimensions! Imagine being able to visit the realm of the gods! Any mortal would be in awe of that ability.

    Plus, he has dreamy hair.

  7. DJ says:

    Superman. I could fly around the world and see things I’ve always wanted to see.

  8. Aulianas says:

    Between all of the choices, I’d have to go with Wolverine.

    Green Lantern, while tempting, would be out. Assuming I had the will to use them, I could imagine quite a few things I would do with his powers. However, not only would I run the risk of not getting powers, Green Lantern has a few too many ‘mental-power’ enemies.

    Batman would be out for much the same reason as Jeff put.

    Hulk would be a bit too uncontrollable for my liking. Last thing I want is to accidently smash something important and wind up nuking half the country. That, and he has made some powerful enemies, including the US military.

    Lobo? Tempting, true, but somehow…. bad idea. Very bad idea.

    Punisher does have access to many things the others do not: Powerful weaponry, great underground network, lots of hideouts…. but he’s being hunted just as much, if not moreso, then Hulk.

    Spiderman, I saw the mutation bit. Yeah, that’s out.

    Superman is too powerful. Same reason I prefer Marvel, there’s just not nearly as much of a challenge to it. Criminals are robbing a bank, three seconds later, they’re all tied up and the day is saved. And then there’s the kryptonite weakness… last thing I’d need is Luthor deciding to off me once and for all, and shooting me with a kryptonite bullet. And I know myself to well. Hell, I’d be half-tempted to go evil so I could fight the Justice League.

    Thor would sound cool. Sure, I’d be a Thunder God, hang out with Asgardians….. right up until Loki manages to outsmart me. Again. For the third time that hour.

    I’d have to go with Wolverine. Damn near immortality, so I don’t need to worry if he gets shot, he’s always been a loner, but not quite outright hunted, so there’s that. I’d love having those claws, and skeleton…. I like to think there’s a lot I could do with those.

    Besides, Healing Factor. I could try almost anything I wanted…. if I wantd to know what it was like to smoke, I could. If I wanted to jump off something so I could feel what it’s like, I could land and walk away. Admittedly, terminal velocity with smaller surface area and a metal skeleton would suck when I hit, but I’d still be able to just walk (or limp) away.

  9. Brad says:

    I honestly think I’d pick Lobo. Being the major bad boy, living a life with no regrets, and hey, let’s say ole James gives me a panic button if things get too hot to handle, even for the last Czarnian, it’ll have been one hell of a ride.

    Considering you have no particular mission unlike Jake, this is like a vacation, and I think Lobo would be the best for just that- a hard-drinking, speak-his-minding, not-afraid-to-throw-downing thriller antihero without any pressure save for the potential loss of life, but that we already deal with anyway, and with Lobo, that burden is even somewhat lifted.