Poll Position: Slice and dice

Your Poll Position question this week deals with one of Marvel's most-beloved characters and the things that make him go *POP*:


Discussion after the jump.

Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Would any old character with Logan's claws be just as cool? These are the kinds of questions that keep nerds tossing and turning all night long. Alone in their beds with nothing but their Spider-Man underoos for company. But I digress, because come on, any thoughts of nerds in bed in their underwear is a grievous blow to all that's good and right in the world.

So, yeah, Wolverine -- his claws are awesome, who else would you want to see have them? For what it's worth, here are my thoughts on the matter.

  • Frank Castle (Punisher): Here's what Frank would say if you asked him if he wanted Wolverine's claws: "Can I fire them from a gun? No? Forget it." But I bet he'd take the skeleton because come on, pecs and a skull t-shirt can only stop so many bullets.
  • Matt Murdock (Daredevil): I have to say, the thought of DD flipping around the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen with something a wee bit more impressive than a sawed-off stick makes me feel all tingly. The metal bones would also be a big help when the Kingpin beats the tar out of him again, as seems to happen every so often.
  • Peter Parker (Spider Man): Like Daredevil, I like the thought of an acrobatic type of character having Wolverine's offensive firepower to back up their ninja-like reflexes. Spider-Man's another one of those guys who doesn't have a lot of in-your-face badness to bring to the table, so beefing up that aspect would be most welcome. On the other hand, it's probably hard to be all stealthy when your feet go CLANG every time you crawl a wall ...
  • Scott Summers (Cyclops): I'm just gonna flat-out say it: Cyclops is a weenie. I hate his power, I hate that he can't turn it off, I hate that he's a whiner, and I hate that he's in charge of a group when I am 99% sure that deep in their heart of hearts, every X-Man wants to kill him. I automatically veto anything that would enhance his survivability, therefore.
  • Steve Rogers (Captain America): "Screw defense AND the vibranium shield, I wanna cuts me up some Reds!" To quote South Park, "America, F**K YEAH!"
  • Sue Richards (Invisible Woman): "Seriously, Reed, I am NOT in the mood, and if you think stretching it through the locked door's keyhole is funny, you've got another think coming. SNIKT!"

I have to say, I have tempted myself mightily with this selection. From a geeky fanboi standpoint I'd love to see Daredevil or Spider-Man get the nod. But I have to say, I'd probably actually go with Sue Richards. I'm tired of her having to just cushion falls and employ delaying tactics. For once I'd like to see her go invisible, sneak up on someone, and just eviscerate his ass. GIRL POWER!!

What would you like to see if you were in charge of Marve's "What If?" desk?