No heavier burden than a bad costume

There's a reason Pampers doesn't make leopard-skin diapers, and besides a complete lack of absorption that reason is this:


Because even babies wouldn't be caught dead looking that ridiculous.

Not so "Atlas" from "Choice Comics #1". I guarantee that somewhere the god who gave him the idea for his powers is about to hit the "Smite" button.

Why? First, putting green, red, yellow, black, and orange all in the same costume ought to be a hanging offense. Combine that with long sleeves over no pants and it should change to a shooting, then hanging offense. Top it all off with a big huge stiff collar and no cape, and you've got a crime against fashion that can only be expiated by tacking on a trampling by hillbillies on their way to a ten minute dollar sale at the Wal-Mart, then a shooting, and finally a hanging for good measure.

My favorite part, though, is how proud Atlas is of his big red belt and its enormous yellow "A". I imagine he's barely learned his letters, having just mastered the first one, and he wants to show it off.

So to recap, we have a color-blind illiterate wearing animal-print diapers and no pants, who forgot to attach his cape to his popped collar, which is a shame since it would have hidden the chest logo the nice man at the Logos-R-Us store promised was a fist but which is, in fact, a thinly veiled call to party with Hannah and her Five Sisters. And they wonder why the comic never took off.