Poll Position: Villain cage match

Why restrict ourselves to comics when the world of geekdom is so much larger? So I didn't -- here's your poll position question of the week:


Discussion, as always, after the jump.

  • Bizarro: Superman's powers, Smurfette's brains. He'd sure be a wildcard, though I bet one of the "Great Leader" types would figure out a way to turn him over to their side to deal with Magneto or Megatron shortly before they cut his pasty white throat.
  • Cobra Commander: Let's face it, this guy is a wuss. He fights dudes who started out with brillo-pad hair, no genitals, and feet that spin 360 degrees, and still couldn't win. He'd be Vader-bait in two seconds flat.
  • Darth Vader: "Magneto, I am your father! **whoo haaa, whoo haaa**" Despite this Nazi-helmed, black-caped paragon of evil having fallen in the public consciousness to the point where he's co-starring in a Ben Stiller movie, for the love of all that's nerdy, let's not forget that at one time he was the terror of an entire galaxy. Although, having now seen him as a petulant, whiny, sullen teenager, frankly I wouldn't mind seeing his metal bits get torn asunder by an irate Magneto, who is rarely in a mood to tolerate jokes about his murdered parents. "Feel THAT Force, punk! And quit breathing on me like some phone pervert, it's creepy!"
  • Magneto: It's almost unfair having him in a combat that includes a giant robot Transformer and a cyborg Sith Lord, but I still think it'd be fun to see how this would play out. I could see one of the other "Great Leaders" using him to clear out the riff-raff before turning the decidedly non-ferrous Bizarro on his arrogant, mutant-loving keister.
  • Megatron: Were Magneto not involved, this much-derided transforming robot might have a chance. As it stands, though, I think the Mutant Lord would rather quickly be wiping metallic goo off his boot. "It transformed into tinfoil, how quaint."
  • Sauron: Please.
  • Voldemort: Double please.

I admit, I threw Sauron and Voldemort in there purely to make sure I had all the geek bases covered. Sauron's best trick was turning into a cloud and getting blown away after getting his butt kicked by a freaking hobbit, and Voldemort spent way too much time as a talking hunchback to be taken seriously. At least, in terms of a cage match; I'm sure both would be much more formidable with time and resources.

Anyway, looking over the list which, in my defense, was written very late at night after staying up reading the last installment of Jim Butcher's "Alera" series (which is awesome, by the way), I'd have to say the most likely candidate to emerge would, sadly, be Bizarro. The only other guy on the list with a chance to even hurt him would be Voldemort, as the Great White Blunder is vulnerable to magic, but I don't think He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken would last very long against everyone else.

Who do you think would win in this silliest of all slugfests?