Why isn't it ever "Hero Guy the Honky"?

This week's installment of Bad Super Hero Costumes focuses more on the broader issue of Black guys who are super-heroes, and why they always have to have "Black" in their name. It's never "Superman the White" or "Batman the Pasty", although I'll have to go ahead and give you Gandalf the Gray. But dude was hanging out with hobbits, you know, the racial thing just doesn't play when you're worried about Sauron turning everyone into orcs, you know?

Which brings us to "Vykin the (of course) Black":


First of all, from a purely sartorial standpoint, he looks like an idiot. He's wearing athletic socks. Blue athletic socks. That's just not cool, especially after middle school's over. Take in the matching sweatbands and the skull-sucking awesomeness of an old-school leather football helmet dipped in avocado and you've got yourself a fashion disaster.

But that's not the worst thing.

It's not as bad, for instance, as having one Black guy on the team and sticking him with "The Black". We can see he's Black, do you have to point it out right in his name? If he were working for The White Queen, maybe, but that's a totally different title and the connotations are different, so don't try to get smart with me. And yes, to their credit Marvel did drop "The Black" in later years.

But that's not the worst thing.

I can forgive blue athletic socks, even though it pains me. I can forgive the subtle racism of his moniker. But what I can't get past is that they a) put him in a lawn ornament pose and b) gave him the job of carrying the team's m----- f---ing luggage! Yes, the main job of the only Black guy on the team was as follows, and I quote:

"It is Vykin who carries the Forever People's Mother Box."

Let's all just have a moment of silence to be thankful that the Sixties and Seventies are over, folks. At least now they don't make Black Lightning or Black Mass or the Black Panther carry the team's bags. That's just low, man.

5 Responses to Why isn't it ever "Hero Guy the Honky"?

  1. Jose Inoa says:

    Anyone catch Shaq O’neal play Superman’s #1 fan, “Steel”?

  2. Joshua says:

    That’s interesting, Jeff. I’d always assumed he was titled Vykin the Black because of his desires to overthrow New Genesis. His dark plan consisted of shunting an anti-matter bomb into the capital city, then in a pact with Darkseid– who would supply shock troops and weaponry– he would subjugate the stunned masses who would be forced to welcome their new overlords. Of course, Vykin ain’t no sucka’: once Darkseid is basking in the carnage, Vykin uses Mother Box technology to boom tube a microscopic shard of jagged Radion into the valves of Darkseid’s heart resulting in deicide (…I guess that fits.) Vykin also has been plotting with Granny Goodness and De’saad while the whole thing has been going down, and lures the split forces (…well those who haven’t made a solid commitment to Vykin.) through a boom tube into the firepits of Apokolips itself. In the ensuing months, he consolidates his regime and disposes of the rest. Wait, all along it really was just a racial title? Oops. πŸ™‚

  3. Jeff Hebert says:

    That’s right, Joshua, I am saddened that you are so easily duped by The Man. Live and learn, my friend.

  4. Rick says:

    “Duped by the Man” – also known as “Heroes Reborn”

  5. Boomshadow says:

    Wait, how did Marvel get the rights to the Forever People? They’re from DC.

    And sorry for the lateitude.