Plight of the Haberdasher

Women suffer for fashion, whether it's cramming their feet into way-too-small high heels, tying themselves into the torture devices we call corsets, or -- as in this case -- crushing their skulls into a face-deforming gigantic time-release medicine capsule:


That's "Lethal", as rendered by Jeff Matsuda in the 1993 Issue Zero of "Brigade" from -- wait for it -- Image Comics. Shocking, isn't it? Let us count the ways this headgear sucks:

  1. No way she doesn't chop its top off when drawing her giant samurai swords. No way.
  2. It has an enormous flowing red ribbon topknot. On a helmet. Not actual hair coming out of her head, this is faux hair in a faux pony-tail, clocking in at a good ten feet in length. Maybe she was an Olympic ribbon-dancer at some point and couldn't let go of the glory days, I don't know, but five'll get you ten at some point it chokes her to death. At least the guy behind her recognizes the danger, since he's apparently blowing it apart with his frantic gunfire.
  3. It makes her look like an "Aliens" love child.
  4. Her eyes have been squashed way out to the side where no actual human eyes would ever be naturally, and her nose has been completely crushed. Now that's being a slave to fashion, folks.

Besides the helmet, the costume has other difficulties as well, starting with the fact that her breasts have been ripped off and stitched to her collarbones. That's gotta hurt. Then she's got that ribbed shoulder collar thing that makes her look like an NFL linebacker:


Of course you also have the obligatory thigh-purse full of completely-inaccessible pouches of whatever and the incredibly flexible armor with full-on ankle joints that have hinges for no reason, since they don't actually connect to footwear.

So you can forgive Lethal if she appears a bit cranky; you would be too if your face were being crushed and eaten by your helmet. She's not the first woman to suffer for fashion, and thanks to her handy-dandy swords, she won't be the last.

(All characters and images ©1993, Rob Liefeld.)