We haven't had a two-balloon contest in quite a while, so I thought I'd give it a go with this beauty from the pages of "Justice League International":
If you come up with the best dialog for these two costumed crusaders, you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason), just like these folks did! Just leave your entry (no more than three total, and try to keep them PG-13 or cleaner, please) in the comments to this post, like this:
Green Lantern: I never liked you.
Batman: Ditto. Also your ring just ran out of its 24 hour limit, and you've got an exploding Batarang in your shorts.
Good luck everyone! I'll select and announce the winner next Tuesday, so put on those Funny Caps and get busy!
GL: “So, Bats, I heard Guy Gardner is scared to death of you!”
Bats: “Sure thing! As a matter of fact, I’ve cowed him into baking cookies… right after he mops the floor of the Batcave!” :->
Green Lantern: My God! Your bat-ears could pop weather balloons!
Batman: And your bouffant, old friend, could launch a thousand ships full of Miller-esque Spartans in Speedos.
GL: Smile for the cameras Batman and don’t forget to mention Big Al’s Steakhouse…I want free food.
Batman: Are you really that hard up for cash? I know superheroing doesn’t pay but damn
1. GL: Remember that one time in band camp when we…
BM: Yeaaaaaaah, boyyyyyyy!
2. GL: I’m a little teapot short and stout…
BM: You’ve got your hand right over my spout.
3. GL: What do you mean, “Nice rug”?
BM: Never mind.
GL: So tell me, do you know what an “atomic wedgie” is?
BM: Maybe. Do you know what a “Hurts Donut” is?
Green Lantern:So,you and robin?
Batman:For the last time,NO!
GL: Why did you drag me here¡ I don’t know any of these people¡
BAT: For last time, keep smiling and don’t make me a scene here¡
2.
GL: I told you the ring can make ANY shape.
Batman: Robin would love this!
3.
GL: Okay so I’ll take the blond hair guy and the girl and you take the stretchy purple guy.
Batman: What the hell…your giving me the only powered one?! Did you forget that YOU have the freaking magical ring?!
GL (singing)…You’re gonna fly away…
Batman (singing) …Glad you’re goin’ my way… I love it when we’re cruisin’ together…
Batman I see you’ve been working out.
GL Not really. Some idiot let Rob Liefeld draw me.
GL So, are there any psychotic ex boyfriends I should know about?
Batman Oh, you have no idea.
Hal: hey Bruce heard your took down gardener with one punch
Bruce: your welcome
1) GL: The spider just caught a couple of flies. You know what that means?
Batman: Bring out The Gimp!
GL: Did you remember to put out the crackers?
BM: Crap, I think I left them in my other utility belt.
GL: What would you do if someone put a “KICK ME” sign on your cape?
BM: I’d probably kick him all the way to Oa.
2)
GL: Bruce, this is an intervention. We know about your membership to NAMBLA.
Batman: Damn that Robin. I told him to squeal for me, not squeal on me.
3)
GL: No, Who is on first.
Batman: That’s what I’m trying to ask YOU!
GL: So which of us is “the brave” and which is “the bold”?
Batman: You’re the ampersand.
[Entry 1]
GL: Whoops! My bad. I really thought there was something up there.
BM: After an Arkham shock treatment, YOU’LL be empty up there.
[Entry 2]
GL: This party’s lame! Call one of your crazy hot women over, B-Pimp.
BM: Back off, Kermit. Rib-Tickler Girl’s your date tonight.
1. GL -“Is that a batarang in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” BM – “Both.”
2. GL “Turn your head and cough.” BM- “I’m not falling for that one again.”
3.GL “Alright Batman.. it’s time for your yearly prostate exam.” BM – “Use the finger WITHOUT the ring next time!”
1. GL: Sooo…um, how’s your day been Bats?
Bats: Greeny, you said it this wouldnt get wierd…”
2. GL: Bats! you look great!
Bats: Thanks, I’ve been using Wii Fit.
3 GL: mmmm, That’s great…
Bats: ummm, you can get your hand off my spandex clad butt cheek now.
GL:mmmm, That’s great…
GL So, you’re the goddamn Batman these days. Really?
BM Oh, drop it already. And it’s capitalized.
(If possibly exchange this for my first entry)
GL:”You’ll blink guano boy. You can’t win.”
Batman:”In your dreams Mr “If your power last longer then 24 hours consult a doctor” You will blink!”
GL: One girl, two of us. What are we going to do?
Bat: Well, I got yellow on my costume…
GL: Man, I really love your utility belt.
Bat: And I really love your white bandana – oh sorry, that’s your hair.
GL: “C’mon Bats, if we put my 24 hour battery power with your fabulous toys…”
Batman: “Forget it Jordan, you’re past your prime. You know how I like them.”
Green Lantern: “So, after Emerald Twilight, I’m going to have a gig hosting Talk Soup.”
Batman: “Sweet! When they broke my back I just wallowed in my millions until they brought me back.”
GL: “Let’s just slip this cape off of your shoulder. There, isn’t that better?”
Bats: “Hal, stop. Not in front of the kids.”
GL: Look into my eyes and tell me how you really feel!
BM: You don’t have any pupils…and neither do I…
GL:Nice butt!
BM:Thanks i’ve been workin out.
GL: So are you finally ready to admit you’re interested?
Batman: I’m ready for you to open the Bat-pod bay doors, Hal.
GL “You make me feel like danceing”
BM ” I wanna dance the night away”
GL “I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango”
BM “Thunderbolt and lightning – very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo,Gallileo Figaro – magnifico”
GL “Fire..fire”
BM “”Uh huh huh huh”He ..he..he”
gl:im out of power
bm:really? then use some mgh(mutnat gene hormone) i wont dob
1) GL: You know… this ring can do ANYTHING I will it to.
BM: Did I ever tell you how flexible my body can be?
2) BM: I don’t need trinkets to be a superhero!
GL: Don’t be jealous because my superpowers come from tha bling bling!
3) GL: I use this ring to also brand my ladies. Just like cattle.
BM: I usually just use the tension-resistant rope I use for my grappling hooks.
GL “Hey, nice cape! Know where I can get one?”
BM “I get mine from Superheroes R Us, for all your superhero needs.”
BM “If I were you, I’d move your hand.”
GL “Phew, and I just thought something had died.”
BM “Christ, what a bunch of losers, call this a party?”
GL “Sorry Batman, it was a bit short notice.”
Green Lantern: Okay, how does it look now?
Batman: It’s still doing that gay flippy thing.
GL: Your butt feels a bit flabby, Batman.
BM: Your hair’s going white. Eat one.
GL: I’m a pickin’
BM: And I’m a grinnin’
GL: Do you have Tim Burton’s number?
BM: Don’t even try it.
1. GL: My face is frozen.
BM: So that’s how your mask stays on.
2. GL: Robin for one hour, the ring for one hour.
BM: You just bought yourself a toyboy!
3. GL: I have a cool white streak in my hair.
BM: So does a skunk.
GL: I only agreed to meet your fan club if you would introduce me to the hottest members.
BL: …Those three are the hottest.
1) Green Lantern: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
2) Green Lantern: That’s the way we became
Batman: The Brady Bunch!
3) Green Lantern: Damn it, Batman! What are you doing at my fan club meeting?
Batman: I’m a playboy millionaire with superpowered gadgets, Hal. I get around.
Sorry I already put 3 but this one came to me right after I hit submit. Since it’s against the rules to have more than 3, you can do what you want with this illegal one, but I just had to say it.
4) Batman: George Clooney, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer. Beat that.
Green Lantern: So what? Nobody ever put nipples on MY suit!
1.
GL: My, but that’s a big smile you have.
Bats: You should see my Batarang.
2.
GL: You know, I’ve always liked you, Batman…
Bats: Is that the line you used on Green Arrow?
3.
GL: How’s the superhero life treatin’ ya? Oh wait, you’re not a superhero! You’re just a petty, little, masked man. Sorry, I forgot.
Bats: At least I don’t rely on a magic mood ring and a flambouyant archer.
[Entry 3]
GL: I promise I won’t crash it! I was Top Gun before it was trendy! Here’s my ring.
BM: I just don’t dig on green unless it’s cash. Hey, brussel-sprout! This is my secret decoder ring!
Gl: What happens in Vegas….
BM: Stays in Vegas…heh
1. GL: …and back-two-three-four…cha cha cha!
BM: Olé.
2. GL: “Purple Rayne!” Nobody will recognize him. Come on!
BM: No. Prince cannot join the Justice League.
3. GL: …just give Johnny and the Purple Nurple a tour or something.
BM: Dude, I’m not your wingman. Ask Wing-Man.
Green Lantern: Hi I am the Green Lantern! Who are you?
Batman: I’m the goddamn Batman.
Green Lantern: Hug time!
Batman: Oh you silly goose!
Green Lantern: Batman why are you smiling?
Batman: Because I am about to beat you to within an inch of your life.
GL: Just leave the dye in 30 min. rinse and Viola! White hair streak.
B: Nice.
GL: Freakin’ cops found my green-house. And took all my plants.
B: It’s a hard knock life.
GL: Crowd’s not into it, we need the big guns. We need…
B: I’m with you. It’s time for…The Humpty Dance!