Caption Contest 39: Getting to the "point"

I am happy to announce that we have a Guest Judge for the caption contest this week. Jeff Rients from "Jeff's GameBlog" chose our panel (a Conan theme to go along with his interest in pen and paper RPGs) and will pick the winner next Tuesday. I'm not saying that going to his blog and raving about how awesome he is will get you a win, but hey, it can't hurt!

Now, here's your challenge! Come up with the best/funniest/most appropriate caption for this panel:


And you'll win your very own black and white custom illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert (i.e. me). The rules are simple:

  1. Keep it clean (appropriate for late-night broadcast network TV);
  2. Leave your entry in the comments to this post; and
  3. No more than three entries per person.

Now put that thinking cap on and get busy! And many thanks to Jeff Rients for agreeing to help out this week, I get a lot out of reading his gaming blog and appreciate the chance to work with him on this.

93 Responses to Caption Contest 39: Getting to the "point"

  1. LoneWolf6155 says:

    NO! NO! NO! It’s head on a pike and its chin down.

  2. Runt82 says:

    1) Uggh, Mondays!

  3. Runt82 says:

    2) Hey, I can see my house from here!

  4. Skiriki says:

    Reflecting my current Real Life state of mind:

    1) “When you got headache THIS big…”


    2) “Wait, does Comics Code approve this?”

  5. Fabien says:

    I have a headache.

  6. Skiriki says:

    3) “When I asked for a toothpick, I didn’t mean this…”

  7. Runt82 says:

    3) This is still better than having to watch that damn new Rosie O’Donnell show.

  8. DJ says:

    1.Its just a flesh wound!



  9. Xstacy says:

    Oh, hell. Not again.

  10. RJ says:

    barbarian on a sickkkkkkkk

  11. RJ says:

    opps stick 🙂

  12. Fabien says:

    Second proposition :
    I have no digestive system and i want to vomit.

  13. Jose Inoa says:

    a) I deal an extra 1d4 damage!
    b) Sucrets, please!
    C) [sings] I ain’t got no-body!

  14. It’s okay! I still have 5 hit points left!

  15. hookman says:

    “either my head is really small or this guy is really big because something just isnt right here!”

  16. hookman says:

    “I’ve had worse”

  17. Jester says:

    1. ‘Scuse me, you got a Band-Aid?
    2. Note to self: the roast beef is NEVER overcooked.
    3. Yes, waiter, I would like a high-chair.

  18. DBraeges says:

    1.) (completely deadpan, in upside-down text) Ow.
    2.) Good sir, I am afraid I must object to this.
    3.) Somehow, I’m not surprised.

  19. The Icedaemon says:

    “Oi! Is this the best you can do?”

    “OK, OK, I’ll talk, jeesh!”
    Fits the facial expression, one would hope.
    Same for:
    “*Sigh*, it’s one of those days again…”

  20. Shelly says:

    “What a pain in the neck!”

  21. Frankie says:

    “What knife?”

  22. Me1vin, C says:


  23. Frankie says:

    “Hey! It doesn’t hurt when I pee anymore. Thanks doc.”

  24. Frankie says:

    “Now, as soon as everyone has taken their seats, Mr. Knapp will read the minutes of our last meeting.”

  25. Rick says:


  26. Rick says:

    What’s your point?

  27. Rick says:

    Itch scratched. Thanks.

  28. Luke says:

    [Sings] “Always look on the Bright side of life …”

  29. John D says:

    1 “Wow, I could’ve had a V-8”

    2 “Today on ‘Wheel of Torture'”

    3 (in David Lee Roth’s voice) IIIIIIIII ain’t got no body!

  30. Whit says:

    1) Larynx? I don’t need no stinkin’ larynx!

  31. hookman says:

    “I hate mondays.”

  32. Ed says:

    Well *that* didn’t go as planned.

  33. Buzzregog says:

    1st the eye, then the hand, now this..

  34. HeroComplex says:

    So… what’s you story?

  35. Mdonle says:

    1) Does this mean I can apply for a discorporate bail-out?

    2) dang it, what did the black knight say in that Monty Python movie? For some reason I think it would be witty right about now.

    3) hm…I’ve seemed to misplaced my left eye…

  36. Chris says:


  37. 1) “Are you ready to surrender yet?”

    2) “Well, that’s easy for you to say.”

    3) “This is why I miss 2E. No barbarians!”

  38. thirdborngr says:

    “Jeez, it was just scrabble! Sore loser…”

  39. Whit says:

    2) Just call me Shishka Bob.

  40. Loki says:

    1 Ha! Tis a mear flesh wound!

    2 I don’t doc, I just got this percing headacre.

  41. Loki says:

    you see, this is what happens when you play football with a head.

  42. Brambles says:

    KNIFE! Apply directly to the forehead! KNIFE! Apply directly to the forehead!

  43. ShamJam says:

    ARRGGH! It’s bleeding on me!

  44. son4 says:

    ” I see your point”

  45. pdf says:

    “Surprise: intense discutions drives to problems”. Mmm maybe I should start taking the horoscope seriously…

  46. Skulan says:

    “Okay, now do your second worst.”

  47. Me1vin, C says:

    I know this looks BAD…but seriously you should of seen how I lost my LEFT EYE!

  48. Dave says:

    1) So a sinus headache really does feel like this!

    2) Doctor I feel this stabbing pain behind my eye…

    3) This is your brain on knives. Any questions?

  49. Settembrini says:

    “I should quit while I´m still ahead.”

  50. Tom says:

    1. You come on back sometime. I’ll keep an eye out for you.

    2. You could have just said “That’s too much eyeliner.”

    3. Don’t take…my…earring…

  51. Age of Fable says:

    All right…maybe I *do* have a problem with depth perception.

  52. Age of Fable says:

    Conan, could you brush that fly away from my speech balloon?

  53. Age of Fable says:

    (corrected version of a previous post)

    “That’s one way to get ahead”…What are you, Roger Moore? Pathetic. For one thing, if anyone’s ‘gotten a head’, it’s you. Now, if you’d cut my legs off you could’ve said I ‘don’t have a leg to stand on’…

  54. Age of Fable says:


    1) You may kill me, but another will rise. And he too will offer you cheap Canadian Viagra.

    2) I don’t think ‘turn that frown upside down’ means what you think it means…

    3) ‘That’s one way to get ahead’…What are you, Roger Moore the Barbarian? Pathetic. For one thing, if anyone’s ‘gotten a head’, it’s you. Now, if you’d cut my legs off and said I ‘don’t have a leg to stand on’…by the way, can you do ‘air quotes’ for me?

  55. marx says:

    *sigh* …it happens every time.

  56. cr0m says:

    I thought “downsizing” was just an expression!

  57. James V says:

    Alack! I must croak.
    Cimmerians are so Strong,
    Head lost in one Poke!

  58. Bael says:

    “Life… Don’t talk to me about life.”

  59. Bael says:

    “Vorpal Dagger, my a…”

  60. Loki says:

    oops thats “I don’t know doc, I just got this percing headacre.”

  61. quatzl says:

    1. Why yes, I am the head of Vecna. Go ahead, try me on.

    2. Ok, ok, maybe I was a little too headstrong.

    3. Impatient Barbarian! I was going to say “mano a mano”.

  62. Whit says:

    Waiter, I ordered pike, not spike!

  63. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    Wow – so many good entries!

    Here goes…

    1. This wasn’t in the brochure!
    2. Hey… not my eye!
    3. …and now my nose itches.

  64. Skulan says:

    “Damn. I should have picked surrender.”

  65. Angus MacKay says:

    And that’s when he said “Stick around…”

  66. Fishpants says:

    1. Let’s open some mail!
    2. Don’t eat me, I’m just garnish! Barbarians.

  67. jude says:

    1.”MY EYES!!!!!!”

    2.”An after th surgery i had no chest pain at all.”

    3.”I think i’m losing my mind.”

  68. Neil Leslie says:

    Now that’s what I call using your head!


  69. William A. Peterson says:

    {This probably has no chance, but it’s the first thing I thought of when looking at it…}
    “You’re probably wondering why I called this meeting…”

  70. Blue Blazer says:

    1. You put your head in, you take your head out, you put your head in, and you shake it all about…
    2. Well, I’ve completely forgotten about the pain in my knee.
    3. Are you ready to admit defeat, inferior one?

  71. Niall Mor says:

    Now you’re just playing with my head, aren’t you?

  72. Mkall says:

    Heads, you win.

  73. Cory says:

    ALOT of good entries…but some are definitely overused…

    1. (weakly) khaaaaa….aaaan! Cough!
    2. So…Simon…does this mean I’m NOT through to the next round?
    3. TADAAA!

  74. Cory says:

    if you really wanna look at it…if you want to take your title…To The “Point”….wouldnt the most simplest of entries be the winner?

  75. Jeff Hebert says:

    @Cory: Luckily I don’t have to decide, it’s up to guest judge Jeff Rients — head on over to and pitch it to him! His blog’s great if you have any interes in RPGs at all, he’s a very good writer and crazy creative.

  76. Rob Rogers says:

    “So you’re saying I blew my saving throw?”

  77. Gregg says:

    I was going to try to come up with something but there are just too many hilarious entries here!

  78. Greg says:

    Ah! My headache is gone.

  79. Greg says:

    Y’know I was told this +1 Dagger would cost me an arm and a leg.. but this is too much!

  80. Greg says:

    Haha! Missed all my vital organs!

  81. Mark says:

    I STILL HAVE ONE !!!!!!

  82. D says:

    1) Is this a dagger I see before me?
    2) That’s the last time I keep an eye out!
    3) Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well, Horatio.

  83. Skulan says:

    Death… my one weakness.

  84. Meg says:

    1) Well, that went better than I had expected!
    2) The Dagger: Okay, I’m in!
    3) Ouchie…

  85. J.Wade says:

    Hey, my contact popped out! Anyone see my contact lens?

  86. Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1. This isnt what i meant by wanting a one-eyed willy.

    2. Jane… this new torture phase isnt hot anymore.


  87. Ballin' Boy says:

    1. You used too much of the force.

    2. Not going anywhere for a while?

    3. Should I be talking?

    By the way Skulan I like your last one

  88. Ballin' Boy says:

    Reading through there are a lot of entries I like, good stuff people

  89. Moonshade says:

    I am Headless Jose. On a sti-ick.

  90. Jason says:

    1: Well, it could be worse…

    2: But… I wasn’t even wearing a red shirt!

    3: You have to do more than that to stop my bad jokes!

  91. Rob Rogers says:

    Wait, wait! I still get my attack of opportunity!

  92. johnathon says:

    hey man my head dont hurt anymore. but can you give me back my eye it still hurts damnet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!