At least it's not a spork

For your bad costuming consideration, I present Marvel's "Hellstorm":


The actual costume isn't that bad, with a strong and simple color scheme and some nice elements to it. What has me concerned is that weapon.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but he's trying to threaten people with a fork.

Don't get me wrong, in terms of tableware a fork is definitely right up there behind the knife, and certainly well ahead of the spoon. So props to him for that, but I just can't help but recommend, were I advising him, to perhaps get away from implements of fine dining altogether. Consider farm tools, perhaps, or even (if he's feeling bold) actual weaponry, you know?

Still, a fork is what he chose, and to give him credit he did try to jazz it up a bit, with all the curves and the long outer tines and the shiny gold and whatnot. But despite what some super-villains would have you believe, size does matter, at least if you're waving place settings around, and this one is just too short. Granted, he can make the handle grow longer to become a true trident, but as it is this looks silly.

And repeating the design as his logo isn't helping. Oh no. Even when the thing's at maximum extension, one look at the chest emblem is going to remind everyone that while it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean, nonetheless Hellstorm's usually sporting a dinghy. Metaphorically speaking.

I do think it's cute that he made the cape ties look like little skulls because nothing butches up an outfit like tiny, tiny bones. Ooh, he killed some mice, look out, he really means business with that fork!

(Image and character ©Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.)

7 Responses to At least it's not a spork

  1. tristan says:

    i agree but marvels son of saturn is just as bad

  2. Neil Leslie says:

    “Ah! At last, I have the Fork of Fear! Now all I need is the Giant Prawn of Doom! BWAH HAHAH HAHHAH”

  3. Niall Mor says:

    Too bad there’s not a dialogue bubble there. That one’s got Caption Contest written all over it. 🙂

  4. William A. Peterson says:

    Tristan, that IS Marvel’s “Son of Satan” (not Saturn)!
    He’s also known as Daimon Hellstrom, from which (upon severing ties with Dear old Dad) he takes the name “Hellstorm”…
    Yes, it’s still pretty lame!

  5. Runt82 says:

    He definitely suffers from pitchfork envy, if you know what I mean.

  6. Jose Inoa says:

    Uh, I thought he got his look revamped down to ripped jeans and a bloody pointy-down pentagram… to totally strike fear into the hearts of dudes in mosh pits everywhere.

  7. TheNate says:

    Actually, I think Hellstorm is a great counterpart for Heaven-Niceday, the little-known hero who wears green and carries a spoon.