Caption Contest 32: Electro-Santa

Santa's got his ... er ... "thinking" cap on, so you know it's time for another titanic, world-spanning, unbelievable HeroMachine Caption Contest! (Forgive me, I got possessed by Stan Lee for a moment there). Come up with the best replacement dialog for the panel below and win your very own custom black and white illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert (like these!):


As always you see, we post to you these rules three (sorry, got possessed by Dr. Seuss there for a minute):

  1. No more than three entries per person;
  2. Keep it appropriate for late-night broadcast teevee;
  3. Leave your entry in the comments to this post.

Good luck, everyone! As always, the winner will be announced one week from today (Tuesday).

48 Responses to Caption Contest 32: Electro-Santa

  1. Gregg the Creator says:

    1. Hey! Mrs. Claus made it for me!
    2. What the heck is in my hat?
    3. Get it off of me!

  2. Rick says:

    Santa’s got Bling!

  3. Frankie says:

    “Great! Rudolph’s out sick, so now I have to wear this damn thing on my head.”

  4. Frankie says:

    “You see? This is what happens when I get a bright idea. That’s why I let the Mrs. do all the thinking.”

  5. Ashton Thomas says:

    1) Who dares give Zorkov the destroyer coal in his stocking?!

    2) Hah! You see whats under my hat now!? This is how I know when your sleeping!

    3)The elves decided that I should get in touch with the 21st century, so uh…Heres the new hat.

  6. Whit says:

    1) Where’s the tree, and why do I have this blasted headache?!

  7. Whit says:

    2) This is what happens when you have a gift exchange with Munchkins.

  8. Whit says:

    3) The fall line just ain’t what it used to be.

  9. Niall Mor says:

    Ho ho frickin’ ho! You wanna make somethin’ out of it?

  10. Rick says:

    My head’s friggin hot allright??!!

  11. Rick says:

    Let’s see Mrs. Claus complain about my head now…

  12. Whit says:

    Did you mean to make a link for the phrase “like these”?

  13. Kaldath says:

    This ? It’s the Naughty-Nice-O-Meter and you are Very Naughty!

  14. Patrick says:

    … so I told them where they could stick their Christmas tree!

  15. Kaldath says:

    Behold The X.M.A.S 3000!!

  16. Bael says:

    Oh God, Please let the old hat fit over the new hat.

  17. Gregg says:

    And I’m too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, whatcha think about that?

  18. DJ says:


    2.This isnt Mrs.Clause’s hat…that was someone wild birthday party.

    3.Happy birthday to meeee…happy birthday to mee”

  19. Gregg says:

    But I can take it off as soon as Grandma leaves, right mom?

  20. Danny Beaty says:

    1. Too much Vodka! Got to hurl!

    2. This thing cures headaches?

    3. What thing on my head?

  21. Yusuf Mumtaz says:

    1. Behold! My shiny new hat!

    2. How do you like me now?

    3. Long story short, this is what happens when you mix booze and super glue…

  22. Runt82 says:

    1) Fruit?!? Who would put fruit in a Christmas stocking? Oh…….I would.

    2) Urge to kill……RISING!!!

    3) I’ll never, EVER let the guys from Queer Eye give me a makeover again!

  23. The Doomed Pixel says:

    1) Where DID I leave my glasses?!?

  24. Solander says:

    1) … and this is how I know where all the bad girls live.

    2) What’s the matter? Are you Claustrophobic?

    3) Ok Subordinate Clauses! Time to hit the sack!

  25. Jester says:

    1. I hope for your sake that you have been a VERY good boy this year!
    2. THIS is how I know when they’re sleeping!!!
    3. I TOLD you, I’m not senile! I’ve been doing this job for centuries, so I think I know what I-… I’m wearing the wrong hat again, aren’t I?

  26. Vengeance says:



    what ?? that guy was not the the President of the mens hair club.

  27. Kaldath says:

    We are Borg, Resistance is Futile!

  28. DJ says:


    2.This isnt Mrs.Clause’s hat…that was some wild birthday party!

    3.Happy birthday to meeee…happy birthday to mee”

    Edited because of my stupid sick self.

  29. Niall Mor says:

    1) Yo, Dasher! What’d you put in the wassail, dude?
    2) I did WHAT to the reindeer?

  30. The Doomed Pixel says:

    2) What have you been doing in there?

  31. The Doomed Pixel says:

    3) I’m a dalek for Halloween.

  32. Frankie says:

    “You are getting very sleepy. Repeat after me. Tim Allen is not funny.”

  33. Loki says:

    Where the heck is the bunny!?

    New ‘Tree ‘n Light Hat’! BUY TODAY!

  34. Loki says:


  35. “Last time I bet on Dallas!”

  36. Fishpants says:

    1. With the iHat, I can see who’s naughty and nice, get around the world in one night and play MP3s.

    2. …and the radiation won’t affect my balls! Hey, do you elves smell toast?

    3. Let’s see ya track me on radar this year, NORAD!

  37. The Imp says:

    1: Oh, my aching cone…

    2: It’s my Skittles stash! A man’s gotta snack, alright?

    3: Damn, thought I put some spare batteries in here…

  38. Will says:

    1. If MY hat is in my hand, then what the hell…
    2. Soilent Green is people!
    3. Well, I know a couple of drinking buddies who are going straight to the naughty list!

  39. Meg says:

    1. Perfect… Now they’ll never know about my bald spot!
    2. I should never have told Mrs. Claus I didn’t want a Christmas tree sweater.
    3. Hello, class. I’m Mr. Claus, your senior math teacher. Today, we’ll be studying conics/cones.

  40. Alexander says:

    1~ I can’t believe it–HOFFA, after all these years…!
    2~ Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat…
    3~ Insert Bartholomew Cubbins reference here –> ___

  41. The Icedaemon says:

    Bitten by a radioactive fir, I have become Tree-Santa! Witness my power!

  42. Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1. Why is there reindeer Sh** in my hat?! I dont have a back-up and im a tree-mutant! IM HIDEOUS!!

    2. great. MY ONLY HAT and it gets LICE! WHO’S THE JACK*** ELF WHO WORE MY HAT!? Now I have to wear a STUPID ELF HAT!!

    3. EEEEEW! i barfed in my hat! WHAT WAS IN THAT EGGNOG!!?

  43. Ballin' Boy says:

    How I wish I had a barf bag

  44. Ballin' Boy says:

    It puts the lotion on it’s skin

  45. Brad Carter says:

    1.Now where did i put those glasses?

    2.So thats where Rudolph’s nose went to.

    3.Jesus, Tiny Tim what have i told you about hiding in my hat?

  46. Al says:

    1. Wrong hat, you damn rabbit!

    2. I’m a chargin’ mah lazar!

    3. What?!? “Made in China?” Mrs. Claus said she hand-sewed it, the liar!

  47. Ballin' Boy says:

    Bah! Humbug!

  48. DerKork says:

    “Now THAT explains my headache!”