Come up withe the best, funniest dialog for this panel, and you’ll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) from professional illustrator Jeff Hebert!
For instance:
Top Balloon: Note to self:
Bottom Balloon: Next time you go to Hell (literally), remember to bring your own toilet paper.
The rules are: 1) No more than three entries per person; 2) Keep it appropriate for a broadcast TV sitcom (i.e. no swearing); 3) leave your entry in the comments to this post.
Good luck everyone!
Top Balloon: *Clears Throat*
Bottom Balloon: Ahem, yes, Mr. DeVil, I feel I am the right person for your opening in the Doomsday Department. I graduated with honors from Prof. Mainyu’s Institute for Gifted Fiends, and I have extensive experience in apocalyptic world-ending.
Top Balloon: *scoff* Inhuman Services my right horn!
Bottom Ballon: I asked for a destructive disease that would end mortal existence and all you sent me were the blueprints for some hick farmer’s resturant! What kind of name is McDonalds anyway?!
Top Balloon- Well, at first I thought Hell was going to be awful.
Bottom Balloon- However, I didn’t count on Rasputin to be such a good baker. Cyanide cookies are a lot more tasty than they sound.
Occupant: “Hey, Lord Infernal!! This is a piece of cake! i used to clean the lantrine in the army with a tootbrush just like this!”
top balloon: AAAHH! Please let it stop.
bottom balloon: I can’t take anymore of this Hannah Montana
Top Balloon: Hmm…
Bottom Balloon: Figures that my old lawyer would end up here with me…
Top balloon: “Welcome to our department Mr. Young.”
Bottom balloon: “Now, if you’ll just take a seat on the giant thumb tack, we can get started on your thirty-six hour interview.”
Top balloon: “Today, we’ll be having still frozen fishsticks, and soy burgers for lunch.”
Second balloon: “And don’t forget this weekend we’re all going to Heaven for the Sadie Hawkins Dance.”
top: aaw man!
BOTTOM: Is it always like this in here after burrito night?
top: *sigh*
bottom: Now I know that ‘looking at stool samples’ has nothing to do with a furniture catalogue!
Top Balloon: I’m sorry Mr. Jones,
Bottom Balloon: but I believe you do have a snowball’s chance around here.
____________________________
Entry #2
Top Balloon: *growl*
Bottom Balloon: I HATE divorce court!
Top Balloon (in a cheery, female voice): Welcome to Hell, home of tormented souls and birthplace of the Teletubbies!
Bottom Balloon: Thank you for joining us in our lovely little cesspit, I’m sure we’ll have a wonder-tastic eternity together. Now, if you’ll all head down to the Abyss of Despair, Mr. Hitler will escort you to your cells.
top bubble-Odious Kamodius?
bottom bubble- Rhyming in hell? Is this, Dr. Suess’s “you only go to hell once?”
Top Bubble: …Hello?
Bottom Bubble: …Yes, we’d like to register a complaint about the guys you sent over to paint our address above the gate… Well, for starters, they need to learn how to read a stencil plate, because our address *isn’t* “999”
Top Bubble: Are you kidding me?
Bottom Bubble: God wants to sue us? Ha ha ha! Well, let him try! I mean, where’s *he* going to find a lawyer?
Top Balloon: Let’s see…
Bottom Balloon: Next on our list of inductees, is…Atheists! Will the atheists please step forward? Boy, I bet you guys feel *really* stupid right about now.
top balloon: What now?
bottom balloon: Now I’m about to get medieval on their asses…
(I think its safe to assume that Troggy is a fan of Rowan Atkinson and other British comedians!)
Entry:
Top Balloon: Thankyou for calling Hell, this is Rosie O’Don…
Bottom Balloon: … sorry, this is Odious Komodious speaking… I’m glad you find that amusing. Yes. I’m aware my new name means smelly toilet.
Top Bubble: Oh, and sorry Catholics…
Bottom Bubble: The Jews were right.
Top Balloon: “Holy Slanted Floors!”
Bottom Balloon: “Who knew Hell was constructed from old Batman TV series sets?!”
Actually, Jack, I’m not really that much of an Atkinson fan (I hate Mr. Bean), it just seemed like the thing to say =)
Entry 1:
Top balloon: Bad enough they have Bible scriptures on the TP,
Bottom Balloon: but only showing the passages related to why I’m here?
Entry 2:
Top Balloon: I asked to see a lawyer and they directed me here?
Bottom Balloon: Well, I suppose there really isn’t much of a difference.
Entry 3:
Top Balloon: Open the door, Open the door!
Bottom Balloon: Locking me in the bathroom after Peter Griffin used it is cruel and unusual punishment, even for Hell!
Top: (Okay here goes…)
Bottom: Uh… You called me in Mr. Trump?
top: Who are You people,where am I
Bottom: We are the govement and your in the whitehouse
top balloon: Okay…
bottom balloon: Who’s been stealing office supplies?
Top Ballon “Oh great, no paper… ”
BOTTOM Ballon “…why is it always out of paper? HELL-O! Anybody there? Can you spare a square? HELL-ooo…”
First: 999?!
Second: oh no, the workman wrote my address upside down!
First: Well, well, well…
Second: I never thought I would bump in to you here Mother Theresa.