The Bat iPod was a joke I came up with, but there are people out there who really can and do make very cool replicas of comic book items. Take this guy, for instance, who put together a kick-butt set of Wolverine claws:

Maybe if I send him my Bat iPod brass knuckles he could whip me up a real-life set? I can dream.

Or maybe I should send them to the guy who made the actual set of claws used in the X-Men movie. This article shows how Canadian special effects artist James Gawley crafted the iconic weapons, and the difficulties of translating comic book physics into everyday life. Well worth a weekend read.

James Bond scores with so many women, even his sound effects are filled with sexual innuendo. I think it’s pretty clear that “Swut” is really “Slut”:

“Skankt” is just plain ol’ “Skank”:

And while James probably doesn’t speak Yiddish, I think it’s clear what this sound effect is all about:

James Bond, License to Love.

Yes, James, you really lust. Must!

(All images and characters from James Bond 007: Serpent’s Tooth, No. 1, ©1992, Acme Comics Ltd., Dark Horse Comics, Inc., and Glidrose Publications, Ltd.)

I am pleased to announce that the full set of Expansion items comprising HeroMachine 2.5 is now complete and available on UGO.com, absolutely free! This release includes all of the bug fixes reported previously as well as 28 new component genres available for your use. I have copied over the most popular components into other slots so you can now have two items from the Coat component, or two from Undershirts, two Companions, etc. Here is the complete list of new component options:

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With the HeroMachine 2.5 Expansion nearing completion, I am starting to think about the next big project I should work on. After a bit of back and forth, the one that has me most excited is the idea of a Face Maker, a HeroMachine-powered applet that would focus on the face and head. One site that does something similar is “Ultimate Flash Face“, to give you an idea of what I am talking about here. I’ve got a rough draft wire frame model and some other thoughts after the jump.

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When Bruce Wayne goes jogging around the darkened alleys of Gotham, you can bet your Batarang that some face-punching, groin-kicking mugger action is going to go down at some point during his exercise routine. And yet that level of violence would surely result in the destruction of his hand-held personalized iPod. The solution? Batman’s brass-knuckle steel-reinforced iPod carrier:

Blue-tinted and personally engraved, this is the ultimate MP3 player accessory for any crime-fighting super-hero. Now you can carry your iPod in your hand while on patrol without needing to fear its destruction when you punch your arch-villain in the face thanks to the steel cage and reinforcing struts. Order your very own BatiPod Carrier Mark IV from Wayne Industries today! (Note: iPod sold separately.)

I’m not going to claim that Jack Kirby got his ideas by looking at stuff on his desk, or from the remains of his hastily-heated discount noodle lunch. But I do wonder how much of his time was spent at bad steak joints while coming up with his scripts, because this:

Is “Sizzler”. Yes, that’s right, this electrically-charged flying slab of grill grease is named after a nationwide purveyor of seared cow flesh. Luckily, he’s a villain. Hopefully after his thrashing at the hands of Silver Star he can get back to home base, the “Sirloin Stockade”, and kick it old-school with his sidekick Shoney Big-Boy.

I can’t get that scene from “White Men Can’t Jump” out of my head, when Wesley Snipe’s idiot friend keeps chanting “We goin’ Sizzler, we goin’ Sizzler!” after they win some money. This is a good case of a pretty decent looking character betrayed by a lame name. Would “Rocky” have been successful with the same script and actors if it were titled “Jackrabbit P. Fusslepott”? Certainly not!

And so Sizzler, despite springing from the pen of the great Jack Kirby, I mock thee.