These is my butt-kickin’ Spanx!

It says a lot about our culture that male super heroes like Batman and Superman can go for literally decades without changing their underpants, but female characters like Wonder Woman and Supergirl have different outfits for every possible occasion. To wit:

She makes you wonder if she has yet a different costume for stopping non-dangerous fanatics. On a separate note, it’s sad to see how far Spock let himself go in his later years, isn’t it? As Mr. Luthor can attest, balding in the Superman Universe is responsible for more evil than the next three leading causes combined.

Unlike Wonder Woman, Supergirl’s “every day” costume firmly lives on the modest side of town, without showing a lot of excess cleavage or leg (though, depending on the artist, that mini-skirt can ride awfully high). This outfit, by contrast, is strangely more casual despite the martial trim and work gloves. She looks tough, don’t get me wrong, especially with the wide-strapped muscle shirt.

So tough, in fact, that the high neckline makes me think she’s issuing a constant challenge, saying “Don’t look at my chest”, which is difficult because, come on, there’s a giant red and yellow “S” right there. Which is about the only way the even more gigantic eye at her navel makes sense. “Don’t look at my chest, LOOK AT MY CROTCH AND IT WILL LOOK RIGHT BACK AT YOU! LOOK AT IT!!”

Anyway, I actually think this isn’t a horrible outfit. Do something with those enormous Playtex oven cleaning gloves, replace the Spanx under the tunic with sensible bikini-cut spandex, lose the blue pockets, and reconfigure the belt so it doesn’t look like the Eye of Sauron and I think it would be fairly decent.

Of course she’d have to put on her “What I wear to change clothes” costume to do so, but I’m sure Evil Bald Spock won’t mind waiting.

(Image and character ©DC Comics, Inc.)

Posted in Bad Super Costumes | 6 Comments

RP: Captain Chippendale’s last stand

(From “Captain Science” number 2, 1950.)

Posted in Daily Random Panel | 2 Comments

HM3: Mass hood

Item 3 for Imp’s Friday Night Fights prize of four items from the prize replacement list is now live in Headgear-Military:


Enjoy!

Update: Per request, here’s the current list of replacement prizes.

In addition to these, I need to do:

51 Alien Nation PapaKrok Next on the Replacement Prize list
52 Sagittarius Lime “Something Japanese” – oni mask?
53 Bad Guy Blue Blazer Owen Head
FNF2 Consolation 1 AJW Japanese Oni guy

I haven’t heard about prizes for quite a few of the Caption Contests, including Black Griffin (77), Galactic Ketchup (82), whoever won #83, Larkin (84), Bael (85), and Doomed Pixel (87).

Posted in Contest Prizes, Contests, HeroMachine 3, News & Updates | 14 Comments

HM3: Imp FNF2 prize 2 – Crouching legs

I’ve just added the following legs to Body-Male-Alternate at the very end as Imp’s second prize for winning Friday Night Fights:

And here it is with a torso attached:

How you’re going do do things like put boots on those legs, I honestly have no idea. But it’s there for those of you who voted for it!

Posted in Contest Prizes, Contests, HeroMachine 3, News & Updates | 37 Comments

Poll Position: You’re killin’ me, Smalls

Since it’s Academy Awards Nominations Announcement Day, I thought we should continue on our run of discussing the various “best/greatest ever” aspects of super hero comics. Today our subject is death!

What is the greatest "death" story in super-hero comics history?
View Results

So loosen up those spittle-flecking muscles and let’s rumble!

Continue reading

Posted in Poll Position | 38 Comments

RP: But he’s so happy to see me! Or is that …

(Via Comically Vintage.)

Posted in Daily Random Panel | 1 Comment

Caption Contest 91

I cannot WAIT to see what you all come up for this one!

Come up with the best replacement dialog for this random comics panel (courtesy of the spectacular Glenn3′s “Say What? Pictures”) and you’ll win your choice of either any item you like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration!

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit on the number of submissions beyond normal self-editing (i.e. don’t spam crappy entries hoping to get lucky), so good luck to everyone. Contest closes next Monday.

(Image and character © DC Comics.)

Posted in Caption Contests, Contests | 194 Comments

Character Contest 55 Winners!

Thanks to everyone who entered Character Contest 55: Capricorn Won! I have noticed that the Zodiac contests don’t seem to generate quite as much enthusiasm as others, so I wanted to ask up front how you all feel about them — keep going or give it up?

Anyway, I’ve gone through the submissions and have picked a few that I thought you would enjoy seeing. As usual, this is all just my personal opinion about what makes, first, the best image, and second, fits the contest theme best. If yours isn’t highlighted here, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good! I just have so much time and space and have to go with the ones that I think for one reason or another are particularly worthy of praise.

Off we go, with the winner coming at the very end!

Continue reading

Posted in Character Design Contests, Contest Winners, Contests | 29 Comments

RP: Words to live by

A fighting man is never unarmed as long as he can THINK fight!

(Image courtesy of Comically Vintage.)

Posted in Daily Random Panel | 5 Comments

RP: Never, ever fight Bladder Man

(From “Wonder Boy” number 18, 1955.)

Posted in Daily Random Panel | 2 Comments