OCD (Open Critique Day) #35

Sorry guys, if it seems like I've just dropped off the face of the earth for a while there. I've been dealing with some fairly large personal demons of my own.

But anyways, I hope you (if you celebrate it) had a good Thanksgiving! Personally, I had a good one.

How this goes:  You post a work of yours, finished or WIP, and then others give you critiques on your work. I do not mind if you post non-HM pictures or piece of writing. Just make sure that you only post pictures that are your own design and not any that are copyrighted or based off of copyrighted characters. 

Also, if you post a work, it is highly recommended that you also give someone else a critique.

Even this is called Open Critique Day, I allow (even welcome!) for you guys to post and discuss on this for the weekend until 11:59 pm Sunday.

4 Responses to OCD (Open Critique Day) #35

  1. Hope you get to feeling better, Linea.

    I have once again failed at Nanowrimo (it’s okay, I fail every year), but I made a few starts on things during my attempt. Here are the first few hundred words of a story in my Dobesq setting, which people with extremely good memories may remember from other stories and pictures I’ve shared.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-b7GbnT6b2vxXP5AD2u8toImuvFXunElwAuIdRw-zww/edit?usp=sharing

  2. @Lime: Thanks. And don’t worry about failing Nanowrimo. I’ve failed every year, though I’m not doing it this year.
    As for your writing…I can’t really point out anything negative. You had me from the first word, and how you were able to keep it flowing was phenomenal. You have a very good control of language, and I really want to read more. Again, I honestly can’t point out anything negative.

  3. @Dreadyacht: He could benefit from some texture on his hide. That gem look on his forehead — is that a psychic projection showing? If so, some faint energy lines a tenth of the way toward the phantasms from the vertices might make it more clear.

    @Lime: Great start. You’ve hit on one reason why violence / action in fiction always INVOLVES the stage in the room, even if just being hidden by it or from it. Crime doesn’t benefit from more witnesses under any normal circumstances. Theatrics are their own mask, right? I hope you’re planning on covering more on that theme.

    @Linea: Keep healing–we need you.