Adam Orion

Today’s “Bad Super Costumes” entry comes to us via “Steve Does Comics“, and features Legion of Super-Heroes villain “Adam Orion“:

I suppose he could remind Bouncing Boy of Otto Orion. Or maybe its because he resembles the filthy love spawn of Harley Quinn and Kraven the Hunter. By way of Nick Fury. Seriously, I’m trying to imagine a scenario where pink pig tails and an eye patch are a good combination, but I’m drawing a blank.

But perhaps I’m being unfair. Maybe when push comes to shove, Adam Orion is a certified, card-carrying member of the Bad-Ass Club. Let’s see him in context to give him a fair shake:

I believe I speak for all of HeroMachine Nation when I say, for the love of all that’s holy do NOT show me what happens as soon as those gravatar boots are strapped on. I don’t want to see the results of a pig-tail-sporting, zebra-print go-go boots and leopard print bustier wearing hunter (hunter! as in camouflaged!) whose big weapon is neon pink finally getting to interact with the flesh and blood model on whom his Real Doll was built. I really, really don’t.

Look, if you’re a pink-weapon-toting, pig-tailed and eye-patched man running around in animal-skin corsets, I think it’s probably time to reevaluate your priorities, particularly when your arch rival is Bouncing Boy. Bouncing Boy. A guy whose powers are indistinguishable from a beach ball. Imagine Bouncing Boy is at a baseball game, and someone picks him up and starts throwing him around, batting his blue-clad butt around the stadium until he ultimately lands on the field and has to be hustled off by an embarrassed groundskeeper.

That’s your prey.

Maybe horrible fashion sense isn’t this guy’s worst problem after all.

17 Responses to Adam Orion

  1. PIGTAILS!!! Pigtails only work for 5 yr old girls and Japanese cartoons. Then he has a pink gun to match his pink pigtails. I swear he looks more like Strawberry Shortcake then a supervillian!

  2. Oh and FYI Mr. Orion, Randy Savage wants his Wrestleing boots back!

  3. Argh, My eyes! My eyes! How to improve this costume? BURN THE COMIC!

  4. Considering Legion of Superheroes deals with multiple alien races inhabiting different worlds…

    Maybe Adam Orion comes from a culture where pink is the most impossibly masculine color around… and pigtails are only worn by the most fearsome warriors of great renown, meant to resemble the horns of the dreaded Xqquliruac, an apex predator of the planet Zyrropx.

    It’s either that or his character design is recycled from an unused an ad campaign meant to make the Wendy’s mascot appeal to a younger MORE EXXXTREME generation.

  5. Keric:
    Argh, My eyes! My eyes! How to improve this costume?BURN THE COMIC!

    Do not stare directly into it you wil heave uncontrollably!

  6. As bad as this costume is (and it is up there), it COULD be worse. His boots could be thigh high with leather tassels running down the side. His top could sport fluffy silky pirate sleeves. AND, to top it all off, he could wear one of those old style motorcycle helmets that only cover the top of the head, with only one downward pointing horn coming right out of the front.

    There. The worst costume in comics history. (Now please, whatever you do, don’t do a funny writeup and send this to Liefeld. We don’t need more reasons to gouge our eyes out)

  7. Please tell me this was done as a joke. I mean the pink pigtails (with matching pink handlebar mustache and gun), costume coming from Kraven’s reject pile, and Bouncing Boy as his archenemy?
    I’ll at least say this for the Gravitor Boots. They hide those zebra print monstrosities very well.

  8. I… can’t… write… because… I’m… rolling… on… the… floor… LAUGHING!

  9. Yeah… pink pigtails and eyepatch do look good on small girls playing pirates. There are other words, many other words, that describe men with big pink pigtails, an eyepatch, two kinds of animal prints in their outfit, and a huge hot-pink gun that makes you wonder what he’s compensating for.

  10. This is by and far the grittiest Pippi Longstockings reboot I’ve ever seen…

  11. Once again, Gero wins the Internet with the comment of the day!

  12. It looks like he has a microphone attached to his girly-gun and he has pouches sewn into is championship wrestler’s belt.

    And, why is he so lacksadaisical with his arch nemesis? He meets him in the stairway, and then takes him down to his computer lab basement, to show him his punching bag and asks him to wait-a-minute so he can change into his ass-kicking boots.

    Well, atleast he didn’t take him to that room higher up the stairs, which appears to have a bed in it, or one of those lounge sofas(or whatever).

  13. I KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED.
    He dressed and put his hair that way before he removed his OTHER eye patch.

  14. I’m thinking Rocky Horror Picture Show?

  15. I think the artist was a repressed gay person. You can’t draw a character THIS gay unless you are compensating for something.

  16. Okay, Jeff, you can stop right there! There need be NO further discussion of Bad Costumes, because, TRULY, you have found the Worst Costume Ever! Congratulations!

  17. My theory is that the artist owned a cute little shih zhu dog that he liked to dress up as a pirate, and used that as his basis for this…uh…’character’.