Super Pouches!

I missed “Bad Costume Wednesday” yesterday, my apologies. So I’ll take that up today instead, with an interesting take on Superman’s costume:

It’s from the mid-Nineties “Hunter/Prey” mini-series. There are a few obvious tells that it’s from the Nineties. Can you spot them all? I’ll leave that as an exercise for you, the at-home viewer.

My favorite part is the sword, because why the heck does Superman need a sword? You think Doomsday’s going to fall to a bit of computer-generated sharpened metal? Please.

I also enjoy the yellow crotch flap. Because if there’s one thing a grown-ass man in spandex needs, it’s something dangling between his legs that practically screams “Yank me!”. I keep wondering what the Mother Box thinks he’s going to put in all those pouches. I guess maybe a change of Clark Kent vintage suits and hipster black-rim glasses? Maybe some Yoo-Hoo? I’d guess flying around toting all those extra straps would get pretty tiring, and a fellow needs his chocolatey pick-me-up.

You have to admire this approach, though. If you’re tired of a costume, just throw a bunch of random crap on top of it, and done! It’s simple, easy, and there’s so much more room for activities.

15 Responses to Super Pouches!

  1. GURGLE! GASP! “Choking….on….violated….design….sensibilities! Need help.” GASP!

  2. Well, there’s an armoured shoulder pad, a little bit of ringed/coiled metal armour. There’s straps all over the place, pouches and belts wear you don’t need belts. The design on the cape. There is also and increase in the size of the muscles. Now, granted, these are not the holy-$hit, massive Imagesque muscles, but, Superman has never been the size of Hulk, Thing or Thor, so the muscles are still big for Supes.

  3. If you strip out the basic supersuit, replacing it with an Indianna Jones style look, then match the right and left arms and legs, then fix his orphan annie eyes, you MIGHT have a good adventure’s outfit!

  4. Is it just me, or did they turn the logo into an actual breastplate in this image?

  5. Gah! It’s like Liefeld threw up all over Superman, that’s how wrong this looks. Speaking of which, who did draw this monstrosity? Was it Jim Lee? I’m no expert, but I’m betting Jim Lee.

  6. Are those yellow studs supposed to be more pouches? It looks like the only pouches are the two on his left hip, one on his right hip, and one on his right thigh (which is still four more pouches than Superman should ever need), and the rest of the crap sticking off him is just weird ornamentation (maybe on New Genesis fashion actually can kill?)…

  7. Frankie: … There is also and increase in the size of the muscles. Now, granted, these are not the holy-$hit, massive Imagesque muscles, but, Superman has never been the size of Hulk, Thing or Thor, so the muscles are still big for Supes.

    Superman drawn by Ed McGuinness is super muscled. Do a search.

  8. Jeff, is it just me or you had already covered this particular costume sometime ago? I definitely remember it here.

  9. Still better then the stupid Blue/Red Suit fiasco. All it is is his old suit with 90’s pouches and swords on it. Also the problem I have is the hidden shoulder pad. We could also do w/out the super ear muffs! Top it all off, the motherbox needs to figure out where Clark’s colmb is!

  10. Frankie:
    Well, there’s an armoured shoulder pad, a little bit of ringed/coiled metal armour.There’s straps all over the place, pouches and belts wear you don’t need belts.The design on the cape.There is also and increase in the size of the muscles.Now, granted, these are not the holy-$hit, massive Imagesque muscles, but, Superman has never been the size of Hulk, Thing or Thor, so the muscles are still big for Supes.

    You forgot the good old 90’s staple, the “head sock”. Ya know, that little half a mask thing, that serves absolutely no purpose. All he needs is a trench coat.

  11. Myro:
    Gah!It’s like Liefeld threw up all over Superman, that’s how wrong this looks.Speaking of which, who did draw this monstrosity?Was it Jim Lee? I’m no expert, but I’m betting Jim Lee.

    It’s definitely not Jim Lee, it was Dan Jurgens. This was in his “I wish I was Jim Lee” phase.

  12. Uhmmm…ok I guess imma be the one to say it….but WTF IS HAPPENING TO HIS RIGHT FOOT!!!!!?

    Also not only that but apparently his left arm is his weakpoint now?? I mean he’s got the shiny shoulder pad on it, and then a series of metal bands covering is bicep and forarm? Not even the entire arm or anything, which would be more understandable if it covered the shoulder area too.

  13. Gabe Puratekuta

    Frankie:
    Well, there’s an armoured shoulder pad, a little bit of ringed/coiled metal armour.There’s straps all over the place, pouches and belts wear you don’t need belts.The design on the cape.There is also and increase in the size of the muscles.Now, granted, these are not the holy-$hit, massive Imagesque muscles, but, Superman has never been the size of Hulk, Thing or Thor, so the muscles are still big for Supes.

    Don’t forget he most likely has a mullet

  14. He’s actually ripping off a George Perez cover from a few years earlier:
    http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Action_Comics_Annual_Vol_1_2
    See, that strappy get-up was INSTEAD of his costume, not on top of it. There was also a good reason for it: Superman had been in space for weeks (months?), and he was weakened.
    Anyone out there still think Jurgens was a good steward of the Superman legacy?

  15. Professor Anthrax

    I can’t tell the bigger dip, Soopie there or Jurgens for attiring him so.