There's a reason you're alone

Our Bad Super-Hero Costume of the Day belongs to a short-lived Golden Age character called "The Lone Warrior":

I hate to get all grammatical on your patriotic self, but you can't call yourself the "Lone" warrior if you have a sidekick. Maybe he thought if he dressed his little buddy up in exactly the same costume (except for the mask -- apparently he doesn't care if his freakishly disproportionate underage assistant gets identified), no one would notice the discrepancy.

Of course he has his own problems in the "secret" identity part of the super-hero gig, since instead of making his insignia part of his costume, he's opted instead for a daring down-to-the-navel plunging neckline revealing the scar-tissue "W" on his chest. Luckily the medical wing of the 1941 Army was too busy to notice the exact same scar-tissue "W" on the chest of their latest recruit, who also was so strong he ripped apart the strength-testing machine. Batman, this guy ain't.

The costume itself looks like he mugged a wrestler on his way home from a really bad party, and I can't help but wonder how the blue sleeves work. Is it a one-piece top with the arms sewn in, or is it an actual wrestling unitard with a bizarre undershirt of some sort?

Either way, I can't tear my eyes away from the huge shield hovering right over his crotch. The colors and the collar and the white belt make it impossible to tear your eyes away from the region. Which might have been his intent, except then I can't -- or won't -- imagine why he'd give his little buddy the same look.

Did I mention the sidekick is actually his brother? Yeah, eww, that's what I said too.

17 Responses to There's a reason you're alone

  1. Dan says:

    I know that Jeff already pointed out how he’s not exactally Lone since he has a sidekick, but the second dialogue box really show that clearly the writtershad no concept of what the word “lone” means.

  2. Worf says:

    Also, I never knew Hitler was a werewolf. 😉

    And let’s be real, that mask hides absolutely nothing.

  3. Frevoli says:

    Look out – Zombie Nazi crotch grabber

  4. EnderX says:

    They may come in answer to the call for National Defense, but then they take one look at the guy who runs the training program and decided they’d rather defend the nation elsewhere.

    Looks more like one of the Great Apes to me – Gorillitler?

  5. Kytana says:

    Always nazis in old comic…have they at the time no other idea about enemys? And always so patriotic dressed. That makes me laugh, it looks so abstruse. He seems like a small variant from captain america…with a unmasked kid on his side, that came from a soap promotion/

  6. Mr.MikeK says:

    @Kytana: Fighting Nazis and the Japanese sold lots of comic books and caused an explosion of costumed characters. Fighting regular crooks in the face of the greater evils being fought in the war just didn’t cut it. Patriotic costumes was part of the gimmick.

    This one is pretty bad. Of course, if I were to protect any part of my body with a shield…

  7. Myro says:

    Maybe it’s just the “W” carved into the chest, but I’m starting to think that the Lone Warrior is the ancestor of Wonder Man. The costume is bad enough.

  8. Gero says:

    Jeff, maybe the blue sleeves and the pants are all part of one spandex suit, with an even deeper v than the unitard, so the shirt section doesn’t show, and everything else is worn over it…

  9. Blazing Tornado says:

    Eh, still beats Jim Lee’s “New 52” redesigns.

  10. nate dawg says:

    The Lone Warrior. He fights for truth, justice and appple pie.

  11. Worf says:

    You know… the more I look at the young sidekick’s face, the more I’m reminded of the Batman villain Babyface. Could it be they’re one and the same??????? 😉

  12. Frankie says:

    @Jeff ‘disproportionate, underage assistant’–I had assumed that his sidekick was a midget.–

    Hey, look! There’s a round mass of earth(which happens to be the Earth itself) covering the charactrs feet so that the artist doesn’t have to draw them. And there’s barely a background. Looks like you found another cover that inspired your favorite comic book artist. not to mention that whole disproportionate thing.

  13. Doornik1142 says:

    So that’s supposed to be a scar? Because the first thing that leapt to my mind was that he shaved his chest hair into the shape of a W.

  14. Kerish says:

    That’s a Lone Ranger pastiched with superhero-against-mundial-enemy (nazis was, and are) concept, and so, Bucky’s substratum. Notice that Captain America’s patron and the earlier shield in that… body part. Again, “antifaz” hero fighting the nazis. Maybe was the initial image they capt to Bucky and Cap (Steve R. was blonde, Buck darkhaired and wearing that mask).
    Heheh. Nos vemos.

  15. X-stacy says:

    Of course it’s not chest hair, Doornik. Chest hair was far too sexy to be depicted in a comic back then.

    (I’m actually not kidding. For a man to be bare-chested in a movie back in the 40s, he’d have to shave it. Chest hair was as taboo as female nipples.)

  16. Thomo says:

    Err, Jeff, to be a bit pedantic, do you not mean to be pedantic yourself, rather than grammatical? The failure here is not of grammer, but of meaning, pure and simple.

    As for the outfit, well the positioning of those larger stars – emphasised by the shading around them – makes me think that under all that spandex, old Stan Carter has one massive pair of moobs…

  17. skybandit says:

    There’s a reason he never appeared on the covers in all four of his appearances.