The right to bear arms … lots and lots of arms

You'd think with fifty pairs of arms, at least one would be left-handed. But no:

How the hell do you even put on a costume like that?! And if you say "One leg at a time ... a hundred times in a row" I'll throw my bracelets of submission at you!

Given the recent discussion over a certain disgusting movie involving humans and centipedes, and given the sordid S&M nature of Wonder Woman's past, I can't help but feel icky and like I need a shower. But I bet the guy who came up with the movie read this comic. If so, whatever else you say about the guy, he at least had the good sense not to have a costume involving fifty pairs of footy PJs, overlapping gun holsters, and what appear to be suckers on the bottom of the feet.

On the other hand, even the Crimson Centipede, lame as he is, knows better than to leave the house in star-spangled Granny panties. So there's that.

(With thanks to "Again With the Comics".)

34 Responses to The right to bear arms … lots and lots of arms

  1. Another good question would be where exactly does one buy an octouple docker’s clutch?

  2. If given the choice, I would rather have to face this guy and get shot at than watch the Human Centipede. He would be quite helpless if you found a way to tie up his arms and legs…

  3. lol! the human centipede dicussion moved here!
    btw, i began to think, what if that centipede do a kick? – which legs will do it?

  4. @gendonesia: The human centipede should NEVER be discussed….

    And I know someone that would have a field day fighting this foe… Multi Man from The Impossibles! Rally Ho! πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰

  5. Since there’s waaaayyyy too much I could say about bug boy, I think I’ll focus on “How the #%$& do her arm and wrist bend like that?” Kinda goes against the principles of human physiology.

    Ya know what, fine! I’ll say it. I have never seen one man or, I guess, bug-man make so many asses of themselves. The worst part is, unless he’s also got Daredevil’s radar sense, he must have done it on purpose. Wow,,, I mean… just wow.

  6. You think that’s icky? I’ve been told there exists a porn parody of The Human Centipede. But I’ll be damned if I’m looking to see if he’s telling the truth.

  7. @Bael- I’m sorry to confirm this, but there is a porn parody of “Human Centipede”. It’s called “Human Sexipede”, and by divulging that I am now guilty of three human rights violations.

    Oh to unsee the horrors of human depravity.

    πŸ™‚

  8. Ok. We’ve literally reached the end of my imagination. I cannot, even if I had to, imagine what a porn parody of the human centipede would be. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME! I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!

    @Joshua(7): You win. You can take the trophy home. I’m sure there’s not a person here that will envy you or want to one-up you on that count.

    NOW I’m going to echo Jeff’s plea from the other thread and ask if we could please forget this depravity? (Not that it will be possible to erase this from my mind) Or at least could we NOT continue to make references to it? I just keep imagining some parent looking over their kids shoulders while they google this stuff…..Not a pretty picture. PedoBear is tame by comparison.

  9. Jeff, how does this costumed travesty come about the day after our unfortunate, and thankfully aborted Human Centipede discussion? Please tell me it’s not coincidental. My sense of irony couldn’t take it.
    And forget bracelets of submission, that lasso of truth would prove invaluable to finding out how that costume gets put on. If I was Wonder Woman, that’s the first question out of my mouth.

  10. It actually is coincidental — I got it from Again With the Comics I think the day before all that folderol.

  11. Now that really blows my mind.

    Insaneville, here I come!

  12. PapaKrok (12): That one actually makes more sense, given that it doesn’t have a costume.

  13. Papakrok! Stop being so awesome at life! You, dblade and Zyp make all of my creations look like they are the crayon doodles of a 5 year old!

  14. Inspiring, PapaKrok! If I was a villain I’d have an extremely hard time fighting your version of Wonder Woman…me with my jaw hanging and my eyes bulging.

  15. TY! Yah, I got to thinking what they might actually be wearing in Amazonia… I was thinking that the costume, or lack there of, could actually work FOR WW in unexpected ways, like diverted blood flow and mesmerization. That would greatly expand her arsenal, dontcha think?

  16. PapaKrok, that’s outSTANDing!

  17. Actually they did have nod in a JLA Secret origins Comic to the effect that the criminal was so “mesmerized” by WW endowment he didn’t noticed anything else going one

  18. Actually they did have a nod in a JLA Secret origins Comic to the effect that the criminal was so “mesmerized” by WW endowment he didn’t noticed anything else going on

    (sorry for duplicated message)

  19. I mean thanks πŸ™‚

  20. Those are gun holsters? I thought he had anvils in his shirt pockets.

    What does the Crimson Centipede have to do with any god? He looks like an alien.

  21. “the Crimson Centipede, lame as he is”

    I gotta disagree with you there, Jeff.

    Think about this for a moment. If you were born with 28 extra limbs, could you think of a more awesome use for those limbs than becoming a supervillain who can shoot eight guns at once? I think not.

  22. I don’t know if anyone else has mentioned this, but why is a guy with green skin and a million arms bothering to wear a mask? Does he really have a secret identity? Does Bob in accounting just grin and take a sip from a million cups of coffee whenever the topic of the Crimson Centipede comes up at the office?

  23. @worf you’re right dude, im got nightmare after that
    @doornik instead of a revolver, why he (or it?) didnt use some gatling guns? I mean, 1200 x 8 rounds per minute will really make wonderwoman sweating!

  24. Mwahahahaha! The first stage of my transformation into a Green Lantern is nearing completion. By Saturday, I shall have another ring. Step 2 is getting a working Power Battery and then the uniform, followed by a trip to Oa to take the Green Lantern oath in the presence of Ganthet and the other Guardians of the Universe. (At least that’s how it’s working out in my head.)

  25. Watson Bradshaw

    I think he is wearing 7 pairs of tap shoes and plans to take the dance world by storm!

  26. Funny thing, he has eight guns but he can only fire at one target at a time because he still has stereoscopic vision.

  27. Blazing Tornado

    This is my new favorite villain.
    Why hasn’t DC done anything with this guy recently???

    Seriously! He has freaking suction cups on each of his feet!
    This guy is gloriously awesome and would make a perfect villain for anyone who wants to make fun comics instead of the grimdark crap hemorrhaging out of DC lately.

  28. Sorry, Worf (and Jeff, while I’m at it.) I hadn’t read all of the contest entries yet, so I didn’t realize that joke had worn out it’s welcome. There’s just something about trauma memes that seem to compel a sharing of the pain…

  29. hyperanthropos

    Wohah! From when is that comic? I’ve seen some crazy and unbeliveable things in superhero adventures in my time, but this just screams “Golden Age of Superheroes” or “Silver Age of Superheroes.” I mean, seriously, this “Crimson Centipede” is the kind of character, only Grant Morrisson would dare to bring back.

  30. hyperanthropos

    Woha! From when is that comic? I’ve seen somme pretty weird und unbeliveable things in superhero adventures that amaze me, what imagine some people have, but this “Crimson Centipede” just sreams “Golden Age” or “Silver Age of Superheroes.” I mean, he looks like a character that only Grant Morisson would dare to bring back.(:
    Seriously, I’m getting nauseas from trying to count this dude’s arms and legs.^^ The artist for this story deserves his credit. Just think, how hard it must have been to draw the Crimson Centipede.
    For a last thought, I can’t remeber seeing a character like this that was both corny and traumatizing.

  31. @Frankie(22) apparently he was created by Mars, God of War,(which is weird, since Woman Woman is connected to the Greek Gods so it really should be Ares) to beat Wonder Woman and win a bet with Aphrodite

    So the best that the God of War can do is a Centipede man… forget Minotaurs, hordes of demons – this is his go to plan

    They used him again, in the Brave and the Bold comic, but that’s about it.

    I think he could use a revival

  32. Wow I have seen some lame villians in my time, but a centipede man is just overthe top. I would emagine he can’t be very nimble with all those apaendages! God this guy makes me wanna drink lighter fluid!