EXTREME Namor!

When I think of “aquatic super character”, the image of bad Eighties Hair Bands like Whitesnake and Poison immediately comes to mind. Because nothing says “sleek, aquiline, water-based power” like wild, out of control locks with tons of fixative, a connection not lost on a Nineties-era Marvel Comics desperate to catch up with Image in being EXTREME!

I mean, just look at your water-born powerhouses in nature, like killer whales and great white sharks and even the sleek, clever dolphin. They ALL have big hair. And spikes. And massive amounts of metal guaranteed to plummet them directly to the bottom, where they’ll stick in the sea floor like an out-of-control game of Lawn Darts.

Seriously, can you imagine actually swimming in that thing? I think they must have gotten the inspiration for the intricate scroll work from recovered shipwrecks, but the thing is, those ships were designed to float on the water, not swim in it.

But just in case lots of spikes and big hair and brooding eyes and a daunting pose weren’t EXTREME enough for what Marvel must have seen as its dim-witted readers, they were sure to include chains and skulls in the details. Nothing’s more EXTREME than skulls! Unless it’s a chain-linked thong of scales. I know when I see a fish in a thong, I’m immediately intimidated.

My favorite bit, besides the dark and brooding face (reminiscent of a Sinestro-Dark Elf love child) is the big arm gauntlet. I know that if I were considering a career in surface-conquering, I’d want some kind of glove that completely immobilized my wrist. Now that’s EXTREME!

(Many thanks to reader Dan for sending this in! Image and character are ©Marvel Comics.)

26 Responses to EXTREME Namor!

  1. Notice that the skull on the gauntlet is just tacked on. My dad used to roll a pack of cigarettes in his t-shirt sleeve. Wonder if Namor keeps his under that gauntlet.

    Upon encounter, I would beg the Submariner to drive those spikes in my head so I wouldn’t have to live with the memory of this awful re-vamp.

  2. I never really understood why Marvel deceided that in the height of the dark and gritty 90’s to bring back a dude who’s whole costume was green speedos, but their answer to it was to give him the long flowing hair. Then they changed out the speedos for this insane thing. They had a chance to actually give the guy a decenct costume, and went with the standard 90’s EXTREME bs. I guess we should be happy that he kept both his hands, though. ;)

  3. I vow before all of you now, I shall be the one to break mankind out of the constraints of the fourth dimension. Not for the benefit of knowledge or innovation, but rather vengeance! For far too long the “Nineties” have aggrieved mine eyes with these unmentionable horrors, and it must be made to answer for them. Continuum shattering, universe destroying consequences be damned!

    :)

  4. @Joshua, but the 90’s gave us Doom 2099. Come on, EXTREME DOOM!!! Bleech.

  5. I think even Alex Ross’s naked Namor from the pages of “Marvels” would qualify as having a better costume…

  6. I guess it’s evidence that I was buying comics in the nineties that the armor and wrist-blades barely caught my eye. Instead, all I could think was: why the green thong over the purple body-stocking? Actually…why the purple body stocking?

  7. Do you all see that squint in Namor’s eyes? That’s not a badass staring down his enemies (…well, maybe it’s him staring down the Nineties), but him fighting back tears because he yearns to swim free without the bulk of armor, body-stockings, and shame.

    :)

  8. I think honestly everyone here is being to critical on this. Look at previous heroes and there re-vamps, I mean they get it right they get it wrong. It’s how the wheel turns right? But I mean for this I actually enjoy the costume. I mean for all we know the gold parts of the suit could be made up of something entirely different than metal, I mean they are in atlantis for crying out loud. And as for the chains and stuff around his “Speedo” I honestly don’t mind that either, it adds to the appearance. And I mean if you compare that gauntlet with what Aquaman got in the Justice League tv series i think its a lot more understandable vs a hook that can shoot out and hit whoever it damn well pleases while at the same time act as a solid hook strong enough to withstand the weight of a thousands of year old dinosaur. All in all I actually think the costume is badass, he looks good, he looks mean, and he feels like the true Namor. Someone ready to kill a surface dweller, someone who doesn’t care about the surface dwellers just his own city.

  9. Shoot the artist!!!!!!!!!

  10. This is bad, but not even close to the worst I’ve seen from the ’90s, which must mean that Bad Costume Wednesday has jaded me to the horror that decade has produced. Still, I look at this and just think, “This is dumb.” Are those supposed to be blades on the back of the gauntlet? Those will help in a fight. You know what will help more? A knife. Or a sword. Or a spear. Something that you can thrust forward at your enemy. Because it’s not like if you allow him to get close enough to actually use those gauntlet blades that Tiger Shark won’t, I don’t know, grab your teased sissy hair, and then bite your head off.

    @Joshua, you are on a roll today, sir. Both your comments gave me a good laugh.

  11. Who’s that drowning at Namor’s feet? It must be because of that costume because even the person’s word balloon is drowning.

  12. Why on Earth would you put heavy metal armor on a character that swims in the ocean? The blades on the arms make no sense. Heads up to future comic artists, green panties on the outside of your purple tights and a clam shell belt will ALWAYS look stupid!

  13. I’m sorry, but this whole design just screams Aquaman/Darkness love-child.

  14. Dude, Namor was badass enough. In speedo’s. WTF were Marvel thinking by making him into an aquatic pincushion?

  15. To be fair, Namor was super strong (lift over 100 tons at least) and even stronger while underwater. I don’t think a little metal is going to impair his movement.

    And perhaps the gauntlet was used more as a shielding device, the backward blades aiding in catching spears, tridents, and such.

    I could do without the belt chain though.

  16. @dblade, I think it’s less of weight issue, than a “how the hell does he move his arms” issue. If he tried doing a breast stroke in that thing he’d impale himself.

  17. The part from the belt down bothers me more than everything above it. A fish-scale speedo? No thanks.

  18. Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Mephisto just decided to go for a swim?

  19. I only have 1 question: When did Namor steal Lobo’s arm? ;)

  20. looks to me like a rough sketch that was fleshed out a bit. I look at it and it hurts my eyes because its not a clean picture.

  21. I took a break from comics during the 90s (for the sake of my sanity), so I have a question. When that costume was making people’s eyes bleed did Namor still have those little wings on his feet?

  22. “I know when I see a fish in a thong, I’m immediately intimidated.”

    There’s nothing scarier that an incredibly fat fish in the smallest possible thong. Unless it’s and incredibly fat person in the smallest possible thong that shows everything. :O

  23. Why the hell is he pink?

  24. @Anarchangel: I think that thing he’s wearing is so constricting he’s turning purple. :D

  25. ‘Parently I missed this one yesterday. But it has to be said: Namor, that’s not what they meant when they said “Jam out with your clam out!”

    Seriously, when I got that far that’s all I could think about.

  26. Well my opinion of you just dropped lower because of that comment about Whitesnake.