Caption Contest 104

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

90 Responses to Caption Contest 104

  1. believe me its just a skin rash doc

  2. Watson Bradshaw

    PAPA?

  3. Watson Bradshaw

    FOR GOD SAKE, CLOSE YOUR ROBE MAN!

  4. “Have you been told about the word of Jesus Christ?”

    “Hi, welcome to Monster Con 011, great cosplay by the way.”

  5. “You win the staring contest again. Damn your empty eye sockets!”

  6. 1. A Lebron jersey? Sweet!
    2. What’s this? I’m a thong man!
    3. Voila! Thank you for coming to SwampCuts!

  7. 1. God, you’re ugly!
    2. I thought you said blue robes?
    3. You idiot, it clearly says dry clean only!

  8. “…but the towels are scratchy, man!”

  9. 1. “Sorry, but we have this only in X-Large.”
    2. “I don´t like onions.” *snief
    3. “Go away you monster!”
    4. “What do you mean with you need raw green meat?”
    5. “Exuse me, is this your shorts?”

  10. Please sir, I want some more.

  11. 1. “Now you see what happens when you sleep on sheets with less than a 200 thread count!”

  12. 1): Ok, but can I bring my blanky?
    2): You’d be cryin’ too if you looked like the lovechild of the Hulk and Poison Ivy!
    3): Whaddaya mean I don’t get to wear a Batman cape?!

  13. 1. Be honest. Does this shroud make me look fat?
    2. I’m telling you, you can see Jesus’ face in this thing!
    3. Whadda ya mean you used my towel for “happy time”?

  14. 1)Dammit, I just washed these sheets!

  15. 1) “Stand still, please! I need to make an exact copy of Shroud of Turin!”

    2) “I did not mean to mummify you! I did not know that ShamWow can hold 12 times of its weight in liquid!”

    3) “Do what now? Wax on, wax off?”

  16. “Dammit, blue curtains so do not work in this room!”

  17. (1)”Why do the children run from me? *SOB SOB* I only wish to play!”

    (2)”When I said ‘A little off the top’ I didn’t mean to take it ALL off… Sorry man.

    (3)”Indigo is definitely my color.”

  18. Captain Kicktar

    And they say I’m ugly.

  19. Your Not suppose to mix the darks with the whites!

    This was dry clean only!

    Thanks Batman for letting me blow my nose in your cape pal.

    Please buy my silk, only five dolla!

    But I don’t wanna give up my blankey Daddy!

  20. “Good god man! Cover yourself up. You’re scaring the customers.”

  21. “Is the hole in my head as bad as it feels?”

  22. “Peek-a-boo! I see you!”

  23. Ethan Shuster

    Smell these sheets! Febreze is amazing!

  24. “Here, we can make this into a turban to disguise your baldness!”

  25. Please, I beg you, no more tossing my salad!

  26. “Noo! My sweater shrunk in the waaaaaaaash!”

  27. Why did you use the good curtains as a bath towel?!

  28. 1. I’m going home to mother!

    2. I thought I grabbed him by the arm, all I got was the sleeve and…

    3. You mean there is no “Ancient Chinese Secret?!?”

    4. You’d need a tissue this big if you were allergic to yourself, you b@stard!

    5. I scrub and scrub, but it’s never clean enough!

  29. Why won’t this come CLEANNN!!!!????

  30. “Ever since I became a vegan i finally realized something… you ARE what you eat!”

  31. “but you promised we’d do laundry together!”

  32. 1. My didie! MY DIDIE!

    2. When you said you were creating Un-Men, I didn’t realize you meant…

    3. Hey, I’m naked in here! Ever heard of knocking first?

    4. Why Anton, I never realized how lovely your neck-wattle is!

    5. I’m the living duplicate of Adolf Hitler?

    (I loves me some Swamp Thing; thanks, Jeff! 😀 )

  33. 1) Are you color-blind? Blue doesn’t go with green!
    2) This is NOT enough toilet paper!
    3) I use this to cover my face. Now that I’ve seen yours…
    4) Wow! A life-sized Crypt-Keeper doll! Thanks, Dad!
    5) Boo!

  34. 1. So how did the plastic surgery go?
    2. I’m the ghost of Michael Jackson.(it’s the nose.)
    3. Ahhh, you scared me.
    4. What do you mean it can’t be returned.
    5. Does this make me look bad?

  35. 1) Damn! And they call ME ugly!
    2) This is the dress she wore, I’ve never washed it, want to smell her?
    3) Extra starch, bloodstains, 4:30.
    4)My GOD man! I don’t have a nose and that stinks!
    5) Superman wears red cape on blue suit, it doesn’t work the other way around!

  36. Close the door dad! don’t you know how to knock?

  37. 1. Are you Alfred? Batman let me borrow his cape.

    2. The beavers…they eat their own poop.

    3. Perhaps monsieur would prefer ze blue robes tonight, oui?

    4. I can’t shake this cold. *sniffle*

    5. This? No reason. Why?

  38. “BWAAAAAGH!”
    “*Wookiee roar*”
    “My stars, Emperor! You’ve let yourself go!”

    (I thought the creature looked like a deformed Wookiee.)

  39. Why did you wash it with the darks? Why?!

  40. Watson Bradshaw

    No, my eyes are red because I AM part medical marijuana!

  41. can’t you see when somebody is using the shower!!!

  42. The most memorable line from the film Mommy Dearest works great for this.

    1. “NO WIRE HANGERS!”

    Or

    2. “NO WIRE HANGERS! What’s wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!”

    LOL! =)

  43. Can I cut or shave you, sir?

  44. 3. “Wait! It’s not what it looks like! This dress is for… It’s for… My dog, uh I mean wife… It’s clearly not for me… Um… But does this color match my eyes?”

  45. xXBladeXIIXx

    “But Linus got to keep his blankie for over 50 years!”

  46. “For the last time, I’m a reptile not an amphibian!”

  47. “What? I didn’t ate your wife!”

  48. Sean From Edwards

    You try getting anything clean with swamp water.

  49. 1. Hugh, I can be Miss Septimburr?
    2. Steroids shrink your what?!
    3. Swamp Thing remake with Lady Gaga?
    4. That was the last Harry Potter?!
    5. Glee in 3D?! Swamp Thing so happy!

  50. 1.This is one of the deathly hallows,i swear !!
    2.Taste this freezing aroma
    3.buy or die !!

  51. 4.A-HA !! I FOUND YOU !!
    5.This will make you superMAN !!

  52. “Guess I shouldn’t ‘a washed this with those purple socks, huh?”

  53. Does this look infected?

  54. Does this look like medium starch to you??!?

  55. “Eat a dirtburger. Plants have feelings, too.”

  56. 1. Does this look like a “coat of many colors” to you?!

    2. I just want to look pretty…

    3. Damn it, Jim. I’m a doctor, not a seamstress!

    4. Hulk say shorts not purple again.

    5. This is awful! Make it work!

    (Yes, a Project Runway reference.)

  57. No reason, Dad, can’t a teenage guy just wash his own sheets?

  58. But WHY can’t I go to the ball?

  59. 1. Don’t you like my Yancy Street makeover?
    (that was a winner a couple of years ago)

    2. You called it a Shamwow, but it’s just a sham!

    3. It’s curtains for you – and drapes for me!

    4. One wipe, no more green on my head!

  60. 1. Smells lemony fresh!

    2. Wow Batman, I see why you hide your face.

  61. 1.IT’S….ALIVE!!!(mad scientist voice)
    2.I’M A MONSTERRRRR!(yes, I made a Fmily Guy reference)
    3.You need this mask more than me.

  62. 1) Yes, so my name HAPPENS to be “Mean Joe Green”. I’m still not giving you my towel!

  63. I meant “Family Guy” on #2. Sorry.

  64. 1) Tell me I’m pretty…

    2) Why’d she leave me, man. *Sniff* Why?!?

  65. eric ross burton

    my god honey what happened to your face here cover it with this rag

  66. “I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!”

    “A Legion of Doom meeting? But I haven’t a thing to wear!”

  67. “I’m not a skunk ape. I’m Swampthing!”

  68. “Ah, no, I don’t know where the chloroform bottle went, why do you ask?”

  69. never can get these small green spots out of my sheets and i don’t know why

  70. 1. But Daddy, all the other girls will be wearing red! I can’t wear PURPLE!!!!
    2. What do you mean it’s not Gucci?!
    3. I can’t believe you used this as an oil rag! It’s ruined now, RUINED!!!
    4. …So I bought her this dress and — wait a minute, is that candy I smell?
    5. *sniff sniff* I don’t get it! What does Tom Welling have that I don’t?!

  71. 3) Um…I can’t find my pants.

  72. “… You were never supposed to see this.”

  73. “…then they gave Batman a budget and a script! All I had was Heather Locklear!!”

  74. You don’t understand! When I sleep, this blanket keeps the monsters away!

  75. #2
    please tell me its just a rash doc PLEASE!!!

  76. #2
    give it to me straight doc

  77. 1. I can’t believe its not cotton!

    2. You payed that much….FOR THIS!

  78. 1. When i said i wanted a tan i didnt mean like this
    2. Do you think i put on too much make up?
    3. Why do you want me to cover my face up with this towel?

  79. 2. “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

  80. XionUnborn01

    You said blue looked good on me!

  81. 3. Torro! Torro!

  82. 1. KNOCK next time geez
    2. no more wire hangers!
    3. …not what it looks like

  83. 1. John! I said it wasn’t machine washable! *sniff* *sniff* Now I’ll never be beautiful.

    2. Seriously! I’m Batman! It’s just that the darkness, and the costume, make it hard to really see!

    3. What did the Joker do to me? Oh well, at least Robin’s oka-….Robin?

  84. I AM to sexy for this shirt!!!

  85. 1) seriously arn’t you people taught to knock?

    2) hmm. if you put this sheet on your head maybe, I mean even I have standards

    3) I can’t help but notice that your right hand has only 3 fingers

    4) suddenly I don’t feel so ashamed of my appearance

    5) not this is “toxic avenger” the “captain planet” set is next door.

  86. You can’t have that as your Halloween costume! Quick, put this on!

  87. You idiot I was doing a load of whites.

  88. Iago Valentine

    I told you not to say in the bath too long!

  89. Deimos-remus

    Do you realize what you’ve done? I told you not to mix the whites and the colors! My clothes are ruined!

  90. The Donkeyfication

    You said my tan would help me blend in!