Encephalitis is NOT a super power

Look, I get that Canada sometimes suffers from "Little Brother Syndrome", the feeling that their bigger sibling to the south is constantly picking on them. But it's awfully hard to resist the urge when we see someone like "Smart Alec" gracing their funnybook pages:

Stealing your mom's galoshes, sealing them with duct tape, then filling them with air does not make you a super hero. Nor does gold-plating your uncle's "Butt Head" hat. However, given that this guy is kind of a wuss, I have to applaud his decision to color-coordinate his purple Depends with the rest of his jammies.

As lame as his outfit is, though, it's actually trumped by his history. From the Marvel Database:

When the battle was completed, Shaman shrunk Thorne's body to the size of a toy and stored him in the pouch, hoping to one day find a way to restore his mind.

Thorne's body was later used by Walter Langkowski to escape from transdimensional space. Langkowski's soul took over the body and escaped from the pouch. After escaping the pouch, the miniature body was crushed when the Box robot fell on it.

You are reading that correctly. He was shrunk to the size of a toy, stored in a pouch, and eventually crushed when a Box fell on him. It's hard to have a more ignoble super career than that, folks.

(Many thanks to Myro for pointing this one out to me.)

12 Responses to Encephalitis is NOT a super power

  1. John says:

    Yes, he is lame. But in all fairness, it’s not a packing box that fell on him, it was this:


  2. Me, Myself & I says:

    Can you say “anti climactic.”

  3. ams says:

    It wasn’t mentioned in the data base that when BOX fell on him, he immediately said “Sorry!” (We canadians are just so polite…)

  4. Trekkie says:

    It looks like he’s stolen Cyclops’s visor as well.

  5. Myro says:

    Just to be sure, Chris Clairmont was at least in part, if not the major driving force, behind Alpha Flight, that quirky super-team from the Great White North. And sometimes, I’m just not sure our fellow Canadian was really doing us any favors at the time when he did this.

  6. punkjay says:

    Looking like a giant vibrator is also NOT a super power!

  7. B.Clouser says:

    Boner man is here!

  8. Mr.MikeK says:

    There’s evil afoot, eh! Let’s get the guy who deliberately made a machine to cause his brain to swell so big no tuke could hide it!

    No Way, eh! He got squashed by dat der Box.

    @Myro: You’re right. He didn’t do you guys any favors. At least he has feet unlike so many Liefeld & co creations from right here in the good ole’ US of A.

    He looks like he’s ready to join Marvel’s Super Hero Squad with no modifications! A toddler could stand his (in)action figure up.

  9. Rendu says:

    The Canadian in question was John Byrne, not Chris Claremont (who is British). Claremont wrote Alpha Flight’s first appearance, but the characters were Byrne’s.

    I would also point out that Smart Alec was a member of Omega Flight, a band of Alpha Flight rejects (think Legion of Substitute Heroes gone bad)out for revenge. Of course, they were rejected for bad psych profiles, so what can you expect? Apparently, fashion sense is something the Canadian government values in its super-heroes.

  10. Myro says:

    Rendu (9): I stand corrected then.

  11. Tool says:

    Do the big boots help balance him out from the big head? Also why does it look like he has 6 fingers on one hand and only 3 on the other? Is one of his powers giving villains the shocker lol?

  12. punkjay says:

    @tool(11) I think his hand is what happens when a “super hero” (I use the term VERY loosely in this case.) fails shop class!