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(Image and characters © Marvel Comics.)
For a meager artisan, Hebert’s occasionally given to remarkable insight–Doom is no man’s honey. What Hebert’s patrons are unaware of is that the events of this “story” were inaccurately depicted. Of course, Richards sold a fabrication to those hacks at Marvel Comics, and they were more than happy to sell it to their gullible readers. Finally, the truth shall be known: yes, Lucas Cage, dared to enter Doom’s sanctum to demand his “money”. He fancied himself somewhat of a panderer, due to the popularity of blacksploitation cinema at the time. Then, he conjured the gall to threaten Doom with an act of aggression called a “pimp slap” whilst addressing Doom as “sucka”.
So, you’re asking, what did your Leige and Master Doom do? I laid at his feet a small leather sack filled with doubloons; yes, I do have a time machine, and yes, I actually did send Richards and Grimm back through time to retrieve pirate bounty. *SIGH* And yes, Grimm is actually Edward Teach. Anyway…there was more than enough gold in that bag to cover Cage’s fee, and then some. With it, I hired Cage’s services again–this time to “pimp slap” himself. He simply stared at me, then raised his hand and brought it down upon himself; his eyes never breaking contact with mine. The fool…no dignity, just another whore for money. And Doom’s his pimp.
Oh, and Hebert? This is a start, but Doom still demands a “Dr. Doom” Day at HeroMachine.com. Such a tribute is fitting, don’t you think?
By the way, Hebert, Doom demands an edit button. The one who transcribed this post for Doom dared to refer to Doom as “I” in the second paragraph. As we speak, he is spending ample time in Doom’s Agony Booth for this transgression.
That panel looks like they’re having two different conversations.
Joshua (2): Make sure you never call Doom “Vickie.” I’ve been told there’s a an especially unpleasant place reserved for people who do that.
I knew Luke Cage was a crazy black man….
Aw darn…messed up the punch line.
@ Joshua: that was epic. 😀
I for one would like to be among the first to welcome Doom as our new overlord, and I uncoercedly join in the spontaneous groundswell of semi-clamorous demand for a Dr. Doom Day on the puny Heromachine blog entity. Heed the words of Doom, Hebert (if I may be so bold as to presume to be an advocate for the imperious lord of Latveria), or endure his wrath!
I thought the headline read “Doom is no man’s HOMEY.” Which is also funny.
Let me second the outstanding suggestion of a “Doom’s Day” at Heromachine. But let’s be serious -one puny day is insufficient to honor all that is Doom! Methinks it should instead be…(dramatic pause)…”The Week of DOOM!”
Nay! Doom purposes that you puny insects give, I, the great and powerful Doom, A MONTH OF DOOOOOM!