Caption Contest 82

The person who can come up with the funniest replacement dialog for the following panel will win either any item they like, or a portrait, to be included in the final HeroMachine 3 application!

As usual, the rules are simple:

  • No limit on entries, but all entries must be made as a comment or comments to this post;
  • Keep it clean -- dialog should be appropriate for late-night broadcast television;
  • All entries are due by next Monday, when I'll pick a slate of finalists that the community at large will then vote on.

Thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What Pictures" collection of blank dialog panels.

(Original art and characters ©DC Comics, Inc.)

138 Responses to Caption Contest 82

  1. Dr. Shrinker

    This is for suggesting “Lois and Clark!”

  2. “Sorry Lois, He’s all mine!”

  3. “This episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by what letter,Lois?”

  4. “Well if Marvel can split up Spider-Man and Mary Jane…”

  5. “This is what you get for trying to commit suicide!”

    “Grand Theft Auto, eat your heart out!”

    “And as an added twist, both superman and I are just twelve midgets in a suit.”

    “This club is for superheroes only!”

  6. “On paradise island this is how we teach our young to fly.”

    “No I will not settle for a threesome!”

    “And now you prove your worthiness, or die.”

    “Superman choosing to save you over thousands of others in trouble ends now!”

  7. “You’re right, this IS more fun than midget tossing!”

    “I will not lose the JLA cornhole tournament this year!”

  8. “And this is how we end Smallville!”

  9. 1. Now we just save her and, bang! instant headlines!

  10. Me, Myself & I

    “Brought to you by the letter E for Eject!”

  11. “Well, atleast the truck driver will have a nice view before he slams into you.”

  12. 2. Does my outfit make me look like Uncle Sam’s hoe NOW?

  13. 3. STOP ASKING WHERE CLARK IS, YOU IDIOT!

  14. brittishcoal

    “Quick! If we throw this one in front of the truck it will stop and save the baby!

  15. “Ha! You fool! Yellow has no effect on us. You’re thinking of the Green Lantern.”

  16. “I’m a woman of free will. I’ll never change my look for anyone.”

  17. NO, these stars do NOT make my butt look big.

  18. “Skipping rocks across water is nothing, watch this.”
    “Who says you can’t teach old dogs new tricks, fetch Superman, fetch.”
    “I bet she bounces to the other side.”
    “No, I asked him to be my Baby Daddy first.”

  19. “This is way you don’t play leap frog with Super Heroes.”
    “Does my butt look fat when I do this?”
    “Heads or tales.”
    “Oops, did I do that?”

  20. “Always said we needed a speed bump here.”
    “Superman this, Superman that, where are my headline,B!t*h?”

  21. “Lay off the cookies Lois, you’re getting heavy.”

  22. Me, Myself & I

    “The yellow on your dress clashes with the yellow on my costume.”

  23. Nick Hentschel

    “Throw out the teacher, and we’ll see if she can bounce…”

  24. First rule of fight club don’t talk about fight club!

  25. A prime example of Honda’s breaking problems

  26. Look at Batman’s new truck

  27. Four wheel drive I hope.

  28. This is How super hero’s play chicken.

  29. Red rover, red rover send Lois over

  30. Relax, Kal-El, she’s part Bumble.

  31. – “$1000 says you won’t get her in time.”

    – “I’m sure kryptonite isn’t your other weakness…”

    – “Wrong letter, you lose!”

  32. Sirus Diarota

    Well, I always knew she was a mother trucker….

  33. “now who needs a makeover”

  34. Saen-WyrWulf

    “Get away from him, you bitch!”

    “That’s for taking the last pair of those shoes!

  35. For the Last time, His name is Clark!

  36. Lois…You have just been served for divorce!!!!!

  37. 1. “Here’s what I think about seeing other people!”
    2. “I lost ‘Frogger’ so this will have to do.”
    3. “Yellow beats green, I’m just substituting rings for truck and dress.”
    4. “Lasso Lois before the truck hits? You’re on!”
    5. “So Lex switched your mind with a dog? In that case, FETCH!”

  38. Matthew Cuellar

    “Quit interrupting!”
    “Enough black hair and blue eyes! We need DIVERSITY!”
    “Its your turn to be temporarily dead, hon’.”

  39. 1. You said “Til death do us part.” I figured I’d help you out.

  40. WhiteOleander90

    “That’ll teach him not to fall asleep behind the wheel.”
    “Well, there’s my good deed for the day.”

  41. He loves me Lois….

  42. “That concludes Judo 101”

    “Look, Jackass #20”

    “They always said I needed to CURB my temper”

    “If you can dodge a truck, you can dodge a ball”

  43. Nick Hentschel

    “Oops! Forgot to fill the pool!”

  44. See! I can be super too!

  45. “I’m the Wonder Woman, BITCH!

  46. 1. Lois, meet speeding truck. Speeding truck meet Lois.

    2. Would you like to buy a vowel?

  47. Superman lets play froger

  48. Only one way to tell if she is a clone.

  49. Lois lets play froger you first

  50. Look, Kal, I’ll prove she’s a screamer.

  51. The wheels on the bus go bump bump bump

  52. Her dress is made of kryptonite!!!

  53. No you cant play with my lasso.

  54. What did you say about amazons.

  55. – “Looks like your superpower is being annoying!”

    – “Let’s see if you are fast as a speeding bullet.”

  56. 1. Take THAT EVIL doer—whoops, nabbed a civilian!

    2. You’ll never be MY equal!!!

  57. 3. All like, “Oh, I’ll send you a copy” then WHAM! Bitch went down!” (“Scream” reference)

  58. “That’ll teach you to throw me under the bus”

  59. “Blind pedestrian, 20 points!”

  60. spidercow2010

    What do you MEAN, you like my NEW costume better?!

  61. Watson Bradshaw

    “I swore I parked my invisible Jet right there!”
    “relax Lois, this just means you will come back in a reboot”
    “This is how I put Lori Lemaris in her wheelchair”

  62. “Huh. I could have sworn Lois was invulnerable. Whoopsie”

    “Bet you never saw that coming”

    “Lois! Roll when you land!”

    “QUICKLY! THE STARBUCKS SALE ENDS IN 10 SECONDS!”

    “Hey Clark! Let’s play pass the pedestrian!”

  63. “There’s a caution flag on the track…wait..i forgot the flag..see ya Lois”

    “Sorry Lois, we already have a Black Canary!”

  64. “Trust me this will do better at the box office then “Through Mama from the Train” did.”
    “Will OxyClean get out road rash? Let see.”
    “See Superman, what did I tell you. Your Lois is hitting the streets again flat on her back just like I said.”
    “Quick I’ll use Lois to knock that poor puppy out from in front of that truck before it gets hit by it.”
    “Bounce goes the Lois.”
    “I thought you liked truckers Lois.”
    “She said she wanted to open a Truck Stop.”
    “Guess what will be the last thing that trucker sees before he runs off the road?”
    “Mama always said wear clean underwear, you might get hit by a truck.”

  65. “Faster then a speeding bullet, $1000.00,
    Able to leap tall buildings, $250.00,
    More powerful then a locomotive, $5000.00,
    Seeing if I can make Lois bounce before he can react, Priceless.”

  66. “i am not a bunnie boiler!”
    “why settle for her, when you can have an amazoian woman!”
    “you have a weakness beside kyrptonite… this cow!”
    “call yourself a woman… you cant even FLY!”
    “your suit dont macth… let me add some colour!”
    “Opps my hand sliped”
    “I am not the jealous type!”
    “This is the last time you suggest im a dike”
    “No i am not a lesbion, so stop trying to kiss me!”
    “Is it because shes prettier then me?… let me fix that!”
    “Is it a bird, is it a plane. No its Lois falling to her death… again”
    “Every time your in trouble he saves you… what about me!”
    “Listen sister, you may have superman but i got something better… watching you die!”
    “lets play a game, catch her if you can!”

  67. Consider this a divorce (with a Schwarzenegger accent a la Total Recall)

    Here’s your headline: Truck drives down Lane!

  68. “Look clark, since batman sunk robin, its been all the rage to chuck out sidekicks. She’ll have to do!”

  69. “Hey green lantern, catch!!! Should have gone to specsavers”

  70. But are you faster than a speeding ticket?

    THIS is the only way you’ll STOP TRAFFIC, toots!

    Who ya callin’ PRIMITIVE!?

    And this is why they call you Lois LANE!!

  71. Who’s tougher NOW, Kal-El??

  72. “No, Team EDWARD!”

    *note: I am in no way, shape, or form a fan of any of the Twilight series. However, I have seen some of the teenagers I work with get almost violently worked up about the characters.

    “I just want pants! You at least have a skirt!”

  73. Im sorry Lois, but I promised Clark I’d make him a pancake!!

  74. Galactic Ketchup

    This is SPARTA!

  75. Sean From Edwards

    I told you what would happen if you wore that dress again!

    Here’s your chance to finally help superman, slow that truck down.

    Only my uterus can sustain Superman’s baby.

    Sorry Superman it’s either I kill her, or you blow a hole out her back. *mall rats reference*

  76. Me, Myself & I

    “Hey Superman, I’m tired of you having super speed and hardly ever using it. Let’s practice”.

  77. MY MAN!
    sorry Amazon tradition

  78. Nick Hentschel

    “I do NOT swing that way! Just ask HIM!”

  79. And THAT Superman, is how I won the Amazonian gold metal in Hussy Tossing!!!

  80. “How is the view superman?”

  81. “It’s cool, Clark. She won’t tell anyone about your secret identity.”

  82. So THAT’S the letter that comes after D! Silly me, I couldn’t remember!

  83. “‘Assisted suicide’ do some one a favor.”

    “I saw this on TV.”

  84. Me, Myself & I

    “DOn’t try this at home kids.”

  85. Nick Hentschel

    “Friggin’ Jehovah’s Witnesses!”

  86. 1)You can’t have my Supcickens!
    2)Alle op!
    3)Sorry but Superman wants a divorce!
    4)If it really is his baby it’ll survive!
    5)NO Superman it’s Lex in disguise!
    6)My jumprope is lighting up ,you must be a villain!
    7)Heads or tails Superman!

  87. You called me a what o heck know you don’t who you messing with girl

  88. Trash is meant to be trown

  89. “You call that PMS. I’ll show you PMS.”

  90. “SIZE 4 MY ASS!!”

  91. NO, THANK YOU! I do NOT wish to hear about the heavenly promise of our Lord Jehova!!! I said GOOD DAY TO YOU!!!

  92. Hi gang, and good luck!

    1. NOW FLY!
    2. Nice bikini wax.
    3. It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that fling!
    4. What is E times eight?
    5. She must have seen a spider.
    6. Lois Lane: Speed Hump.
    7. Lois found her G-Spot!

  93. oh no she didn’t!

  94. I’m not one for competition.

  95. “HULK MAD!”

  96. 1)If you can recite the alphabet, we might consider saving you.

  97. That’s right Superman, it’s ex-girlfriend Spring-Cleanup Day! You just throw ’em to the curb and they come and pick ’em up for you! Oh look! Here comes the truck now!

  98. I’ll show you…”Throws like a girl”… my ass!!!

  99. 1. two’s company three is a crowd.
    2.my lonely girl decoy will stop that trucker
    3.My alter ego can’t be here with me! Die anomaly!
    4. the sidewalk does not belong to you!

  100. “Get out of my head! Get out of my head!”

    “FORE!”

    “FOR THE EMPEROR!”

  101. I think we should have a parody character contest some time.

  102. If you can dodge a truck, then you can dodge a ball! (from the movie, Dodgeball)

  103. Great Minerva! My back just went out again!!!

  104. That’s for giving away the ending of ‘Death of Superman’!

  105. 1: “Control. Alt. Delete.”
    2: “We have to find a way to stop this truck! Wait! I know how!”

  106. 1) Let’s see what happens when I do THIS!
    2) Go to work, Speedbump Girl!
    3) I said he’s TAKEN!

  107. “Thats for using the last tampon!”

  108. 3: “Pikachu! I choose YOU!”
    4: “Sorry Lois, you lost the game!”

    “The Game” is an internet meme, explained here in detail.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_%28mind_game%29

  109. Either that is Lex Luthor in a brilliant disguise or I have made a HUGE mistake!

  110. Zorbas The Awesome

    “I’m the only one with a strong enough uterus to carry his baby!”
    ~Mallrats reference

    “EEEEEEE this B***”

    “That front bumper looks cozy enough to be splattered against”

    “Clark, this for your own good, she makes you have to pull stuff out of your ass to save the day because you save her first!”

    “I’m sorry Lois, I really do like you, but I lost a bet to Flash…”

    “I SAID, do NOT say my WHIP makes me look like a DOMINATRIX ever AGAIN!”

    “I hope this doesn’t come between us Lois!”

    “YELLOW DOESN’T MAKE ME LOOK FAT, IT MAKES YOU LOOK FAT!”

    “THAT’S FOR SCRATCHING THE PAINT ON MY JET!”

  111. Take that, J. Michael Straczynski’s mom!

  112. I’ve made a terrible mistake. I know I can throw better than that.

  113. Galactic Ketchup

    “BOOM!”

    Scott Pilgrim reference ftw :L

  114. Galactic Ketchup

    “Cellulite this!”

    “Check out my new sidekick, Rubber Ball Girl!”

    “I see you’ve chosen GTFO.”

    “I’m telling you, this is the best way to teach her how to fly.”

    “Go! Get to the CHOPPA!”

  115. Galactic Ketchup

    “Blood for the Blood God!”

    “Why does Return of the Jedi spring to mind?”

    “Our love can never be!”

  116. “MDMA, ecstacy, or…what was the other thing they called it?”

  117. “It’s not what it looks like! Unless it looks like I’m murdering Lois Lane.”

  118. “This block is superheroes only, Veronica Lodge!”

  119. “I’m about to hold up an armoured car.”

  120. “I’m not sure how it’ll help either, Superman. But FEMA seemed pretty confident.”

  121. “That’s the Lois lane.”

  122. “Wait…Lois Lane is the one who’s secretly Superman right?”

  123. “You don’t wanna get picked on, don’t dress like a freak.”

  124. “Very well, I’ll *prove* Zeno was right!”

  125. stop Superman it’s really circe! Or, was it?

  126. ” ‘Ladyfriend’ my star-spangled ass! “

  127. 1. ” holy shit i broke my heel! is she oh wait never mind.”
    2 “superman other weakness aids”

  128. “How dare you cheat me with her?!”

  129. Take your hands of my man

  130. 1.Your right super man, Pedestrian skimming is better than stone skimming.
    2.She has the same handbag as me.
    3.She Bought the shoes i wanted in the sale.

  131. Your super pneumatic bumpers are our only hope Lois…

  132. 5: “Respect my Authoritah!!!”

  133. “You’re Team Jacob?!?!”

  134. Bizzaro Wonder Woman HATE Lois!

  135. Galactic Ketchup

    @ Jeff Shouldn’t this have ended by now? :L