With apologies and a hat-tip to Chris Sims of "Chris' Invincible SuperBlog" fame (via his new digs at Comics Alliance), I would like to return to the wellspring of all things super-fashionable, the 1990s.
Take a look at "Forge" as he poses for an action-packed conversation:
I'll let Chris take it away:
For a while there I couldn't figure out if the most hilarious thing about this panel was the fact that he's wearing Wonder Woman's new jacket over a jacket over a turtleneck, or the his spread-legged Computer Usin' Stance, but then I noticed the crown jewel: In order to show off his cybernetic leg, Forge has manufactured an individual pant leg out of spandex and belted it just above his knee.
That is fantastic.
Couldn't agree more, big guy. Also, how hard is the air conditioning blowing in this place? That bandanna looks like it's alive, whipping about in a mad fury. Apparently it's enough of a hazard that it's severed the head of the unfortunate sunglasses-wearing gentleman behind Forge's shoulder. That takes some serious BTUs, folks.
Finally, I can't wrap my head around that one strap running down his left side. It just ends at his crotch, which forces me to wonder what in the hell that buckle attaches to. I pray it's actually free-floating, because if not ... ouch. Does he have to think about baseball scores and math to make it unbuckle?
That frikkin’ makes my brain hurt.
I suppose we could be charitable, and assume that that particular strap is just slung over his shoulder (he is, at least, holding onto it) in the process of over arming himself, but where’s the fun in that?
That’s possible, though it’s hard to tell — the other end doesn’t really look like it goes to the ginormous gun on his back, but it could take a hard right after ducking under the puffy leather collar I suppose. And it seems like there’d be a hook or tongue or something on the loose end for it to, you know, strap onto something else with.
But I think the real answer is, they didn’t care (and it’s not too important, really) — it’s a strap! And we need! Straps! Everywhere!
“And also, Forge, could we please install more monitors in here? I want it to look like the room’s wallpapered with faces!”
This whole page is to busy for my taste’s.
WAIT! That whole bunch of squares in the background with random people in them are supposed to be monitors on the wall????? WOW, never would have figured that! And if so, then why does the guy in the top left “monitor”, who talks to forge, looks like professor X?
oops top RIGHT “monitor”
“MUST-GET-BIGGER-BELT-BUCKLES!!!”
Panels and costumes like this among the many reasons I stopped reading comics for a while in the 90’s. I believe that the invention of the jacket over jacket and thigh pouch are the worst thing to happen to costumes since Major V or the chicken on the helmet of the Whizzer. I recommend death by phlemmings.
My last vestiges of hope were in the 90s. They can never rest in peace because of such dizzying, discomobulating, very WTF moments of the above example.
The 1990s were much better in music than fashion, and obviously commercial art. This is just… unjust and abusive to all of my senses.
That cybernetic leg itself is rather flashy. It’s surface plating is shaped to look like it has world class muscles in it. How vain can you get?
I’m feeling quite embarrassed now for having adored these comics when I was younger, boy, do I see the error of my ways! Yikes! This is quite atrocious isn’t it? All the blue and yellow spandex, it makes me feel better that they changed that for the movie! Could you imagine those guys running around in that?! Yeah, eyebleach!! Although, I wouldn’t have minded seeing Halle Berry running around in a silvery white skin tight suit… Yes, very nice … *ahem* anyway, back to the nightmare of a costume that stands before us. I understand Forge was the major techie of the team for a while, and I’m not sure what was happening before or after this particular scene, but damn it appears he’s loading up an arsenal as if Magneto’s about to attack the mansion?? I dunno, and it doesn’t help that the lighting on the Professor makes it appear as though he’s not even in the same room! This was a good panel to dissect and we see that other artist were making mistakes of Rob Liefieldian proportions!
One thing I’ve never gotten about superhero comics: why is everyone constantly flexing? In every panel of every comic, muscles bulge and ripple as though under heavy strain, even when just standing around and talking (or using a computer, as Forge is demonstrating above).
I mean, most people exerting that much effort while using a computer are likely doing something that’s best not done while being watched by and Irishman and a paraplegic.
Unless that’s your thing.
Maybe Forge is doing exactly that. Who knows, what kind of other cybernetic wonders he has created. His groin area seems to be rather bulky. This picture might also serve as further evidence for my superpowers-as-viagra theory. Maybe they need to wear bulky and restrictive codpieces to mask embarrassing extension actions (they cannot all be croutching all the time like Spider-man does).
3 layers of clothing all of it skin tight huh?
Well, that yellow part covering Forges groin looks like rigid material, maybe hard plastic chastity belt or something.
Looks like he went through Rogue’s wardrobe and borrowed Cable’s leftover ammo belts. God, the 90’s were horrible.