Caption Contest 81: Robin the cradle (or the grave)

Your challenge this week is to come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this classic Batman panel:

I don't know why Batman wore a disguise over his costume instead of, say, just taking off his costume, but I guess when you're the GD Batman you can do whatever you want. And why kill Robin while he's in his costume, for that matter -- if he washes up you've not only got a murder investigation on your hands, but some explaining to do as to why Dick Grayson was dressed up as the Caped Crusader's little buddy.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. For this contest, note that you have two separate dialog bubbles, so you'll need to fill them both in your entry, like so:

Balloon 1: See if you still think this coat makes my butt look big ...
Balloon 2: From the bottom of the ocean!

Otherwise the rules are the same -- keep it clean, put your entry or entries in the comments to this post, and have them in by next Monday. The winner will receive his or her choice of either any item they like, or a portrait, either of which will appear in the final HeroMachine 3 version.

Good luck everyone!

133 Responses to Caption Contest 81: Robin the cradle (or the grave)

  1. The Doomed Pixel

    “Go now! Learn the ways of their people!”

  2. 1. Balloon 1: You never loved me
    Baloon 2: Like I needed you to

    2. Balloon 1: Here’s to you
    Balloon 2: Mrs. Robinson

    3. Balloon 1: Want to play “Doctor makes a house call”?
    Balloon 2: Wait! Come back.

    4. Balloon 1: If Houdini could do it
    Balloon 2: So can you

    5. Balloon 1: I hope you can hold your breath
    Balloon 2: Forever!

  3. Balloon 1: This worked for Jason
    Balloon 2: It will work on you.

  4. Balloon 1: The boat’s sinking! What can we do without?
    Balloon 2: I hate to get rid of my cinder block & chain… and robin too, I guess.

    Not so great.

  5. Balloon 1: Sorry,old chum…
    Balloon 2:but now you are chum!

  6. Balloon 1: Sorry that it has to end like this…
    Balloon 2: but I’m tired of the “Ambiguously Gay Duo” jokes!

  7. 1)
    balloon 1: say hi to Aquaman
    balloon 2: FROM ME

    2)
    balloon 1:let’s see if that suit
    balloon 2: is water proof

  8. Balloon 1: We’re here,…
    Balloon 2: Enjoy the BLOCK party!

  9. Balloon 1: For the last time, NO!
    Balloon 2: This is NOT an imaginary story!

    Balloon 1: Don’t worry, robins are aquatic birds —
    Balloon 2: I read it on Wikipedia!

    Balloon 1: This sidekick thing just wasn’t working out, Robin —
    Balloon 2: But I wish you best of luck in your future endeavors!

  10. Balloon 1: And then we just put this in the water…
    Balloon 2: …Why aren’t you floating?

  11. Gregg (#9): That Wikipedia one made me laugh out loud, good one!

  12. 1)If I cant have you-
    No one can!

  13. Balloon 1: You could have gone to the dry cleaners OR just thrown away your blue dress! But either way —

    Balloon 2: NOBODY blackmails The Batman!

  14. B1: “If you can dodge death…”
    B2: “you can dodge a batarang!”

    B1: “Undercover Batman…”
    B2: “Would make a GREAT action figure!”

    B1: “Dammit, Robin…”
    B2: “I AM THE PIRATE KING!”

  15. Oh-no, no, DAMN!!!
    … he had the keys on him.

  16. Balloon 1: Dump em.
    Balloon 2: and leave em.

    Balloon 1: What would happen if you were not around.
    Balloon 2: Some times you just have to know.

    Balloon 1: This is the last time you will ever
    Balloon 2: Drive my car!

    Balloon 1: This was the only way
    Balloon 2: To get pedo bear out of my life.

    Balloon 1: I wonder why I just did that
    Balloon 2: Probably shouldn’t have been drinking.

  17. And now I call robin back,
    back from the plot hole beyond!

  18. balloon 1: Sorry, Robin.
    balloon 2: The Comics Code wants you gone.

    b1: I’m not Batman you idiot!
    b2: I’m the joker in desguise of Batman in desguise!

  19. Balloon 1: At first I was just going to poison you
    Balloon 2: But this seemed like more fun.

    Balloon 1: Its only murder
    Balloon 2: if you die.

  20. 1: And this time…
    2: …DON’T COME BACK!

  21. Balloon 1: I’m sorry, Robin…
    Balloon 2: …but Fredric Wertham is on to us!

    Balloon 1: A quick dip in the Lazarus Pit…
    Balloon 2: …while I punish the Ewoks that took your life!

    Balloon 1: I sure hope that Robin…
    Balloon 2: …doesn’t come back as a killer in a hockey mask!

  22. 1:I don’t want you in
    2: batman 3

    1:don’t worry i saw this
    2: on jackass

  23. Balloon 1: Plop,Plop,Fizz,Fizz…
    Balloon 2:Oh, What a relief it is!

  24. 1)NOOooo!
    2)My keys are in his left poket!

    1)Golly Gee Willikers Batman this ,Golly Gee Willikers Batman that.
    2)God I hated that line!

  25. balloon 1:If you won’t sleep with me…
    balloon 2:you’ll sleep with the fishes

  26. Balloon 1: Sorry Robin
    Balloon 2: You lost the poll.

  27. 1: Another day…
    2: …another Robin.

  28. Balloon 1: I defeat evil everyday
    Balloon 2: But today Postpartum Depression wins.

  29. b1: im sorry little buddy but
    b2: Chris Matthews is on to us.

  30. Balloon 1: Maybe my next Robin
    Balloon 2: Will remember to put the cap back on the toothpaste.

  31. B1: Oh and Robin…
    B2: It’s not you, IT’S ME!

  32. Balloon 1: I’m sorry Robin
    Balloon 2: This is the only way you’re safe from the Joker.

  33. Balloon 1: when you disrespect me
    Balloon 2: you disrespect the Justice League

    Balloon 1: burn down mansion, check
    Balloon 2: dump the body, check

    Balloon 1: can you survive?
    Balloon 2: Superhero Fear Factor!

    Balloon 1: worst remake of
    Balloon 2: the god father ever!

    Balloon 1: you don’t leave the Batmobile running!
    Balloon 2: gas is exspensive!

    Balloon 1: you can’t drown Mcclou, your immortal
    Balloon 2: oh wait! wrong movie!

  34. Balloon 1: This is for saying
    Balloon 2: Marvel comics is better!

  35. B1: Side Effects of drowning may include…
    B2: Nausea, Heartburn and DEATH!

  36. Balloon 1: How dare you
    Balloon 2: Insult my brilliant disguise!

    Balloon 1: If you drown, you’re human,but if you survive
    Balloon 2: THEN YOU’RE A WITCH!

    Balloon 1: A bird in the hand
    Balloon 2: EQUALS TWO IN THE SEA!

    Balloon 1: Now you’re dead
    Balloon 2: JUST LIKE MY PARENTS!

  37. Balloon 1: Sorry, old chum…
    Balloon 2: but we have to plug that Gulf Coast oil spill!

  38. Sean From Edwards

    Balloon 1: It’s the Joker’s Fault Robin
    Balloon 2: He kept asking why I can’t quit you!

  39. 1)That is the last time you drink milk from the carton…
    2)EVER!

    1)Throwing your sidekick to his watery death isn’t normal…
    2)… but on meth it is.

    1)This what happens when you sidekick for Dr. Midnight behind my back…
    2)you hussy!

  40. Balloon 1: You didnt replace the toilet roll
    Balloon 2: Now im gonna replace you!

    Balloon 1: You left the toilet seat down…
    Balloon 2: Now your going down to the bottom of the sea!

    Balloon 1: Why so serious?
    Balloon 2: I’ll show you serious!

    Balloon 1: This is how i learnt
    Balloon 2: how to swim!

    Balloon 1: Riddle me this, riddle me that
    Balloon 2: Your gonna drown for calling me FAT!

  41. 1 balloon1 the ocean will have to do
    balloon2 ben affleck’s trailers getting full

    2 Balloon1 told you like i told Todd
    Balloon2 Dick is the only real robin Drake

    3 Balloon 1 rope 3$ boat 80$ hate and coat 30$
    Balloon2 getting this kid out of the way so i can get with bat girl priceless !

    4 balloon1 i warned him i warned him hit on bat girl all you want
    Balloon 2 but cat womans mine punk

  42. Balloon1: Rock-and-Robin,
    Rock-and-Robin,

    Balloon 2:Blow, Rock-and-Robin cause we really gonna ROCK tonight!

  43. Balloon 1: Sorry Robin,
    Balloon 2: But Aquaman really needs a sidekick.

  44. Balloon 1: I am Bizzaro Batman
    Balloon 2: but you can call me, The Bat Don!

    Balloon 1: you like auto-erotic-asphyxiation?
    Balloon 2: Then try this!

    Balloon 1: your, Robin the Boy Wonder
    Balloon 2: as in: boy I wonder how I’ll survive this!

    Balloon 1: You’re going
    Balloon 2: drown, town!

  45. 1)Robin ,Robin ,Robin!
    2)Your just had to go and break up with Batgirl!

    1)I dropped my bat-keys in the water…
    2)…would you get them for me ,thanks!

  46. I know it was you Robin! You broke my heart!

  47. 1. Balloon 1: Sorry Robin, I’m broke
    Balloon 2: …and it was you or the dog.
    2. Balloon 1: Okay the plan is simple
    Balloon 2: just find the Batboat and pull it back up.
    3. Balloon 1: Okay Robin, our fame is down
    Balloon 2: so keep splashing and I’ll wait in the car.

  48. Balloon 1: I’m still waiting for you to say it…
    Balloon 2: …”Holy Wet Dream, Batman!”

  49. Balloon 1: “If you set a bird free and it returns to you…”
    Balloon 2:”Um,…I don’t see that happening!”

  50. I would save you… but your costume clashes with my new hat and coat.

  51. Balloon1:sorry robin you cant get all the girls Balloon2:well batman i am the pretty one.

  52. 1. Balloon 1: It’s called the Bat-Cinder Block.
    Balloon 2: I designed it myself.

    2. Balloon 1: Now, to throw out my improvised Bat-Anchor.
    Balloon 2: Aw, crap in a hat!

    3. Balloon 1: If I told you once, I told you a thousand times…
    Balloon 2: Don’t touch my giant penny!

  53. Plus one more bonus one:

    Balloon 1: Stupid…stupid…
    Balloon 2: Stupid DC and their stupid 1-900 polls…

  54. Balloon 1: FIVE ROBINS!!!
    Balloon 2: One to many!!!

  55. Balloon 1: Here Aqua Man
    Balloon 2: Hes perfect for you

  56. Balloon 1: I told Alfred the bat brick and chain wouldn’t work on are utility belt.

    Balloon 2: Good thing I got Robin to try it first.

  57. Balloon 1: Get out of this magic boy
    Balloon 2: Oh wait he did trapezes didn’t he

  58. 1. Balloon 1: I lost the bet…
    Balloon 2: And now you’re Aquaman’s sidekick!

    2. Balloon 1: Recreate my favorite book…
    Balloon 2: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea!

    3. Balloon 1: Hope you can sing…
    Balloon 2: You’re in “The Little Mermaid”!

  59. Me, Myself & I

    B1: Oh darn!
    B2: I forgot to keep Veronica’s swim suit top.

    B1: That’s teach you . . .
    B2: For steeling Veronica’s swim suit top.

  60. Balloon 1: Whats red and yellow and blue all over. Its a dead Robin. Right Riddler…
    Balloon 2: …Riddler?

  61. Balloon 1: I’ll show you how were going to catch Killer Croc
    Balloon 2: Here crocy crocy crocy

  62. 1: No, I’m sorry.
    2: “Lemme go” isn’t the safe word.

  63. B1: This is what happens
    B2: When you wreck the bat mobile

  64. This is the first part of your swimming lessons

  65. This is the first part of your swimming lessons…. Hehehe

  66. 1. Balloon 1: Catch!
    Balloon 2: Oops.

    2. Balloon 1: I’ll save you!
    Balloon 2: Grab my lucky cinder block!

    3. Balloon 1: Rise…
    Balloon 2: RISE!

    4. Balloon 1: Dick Grayson…
    Balloon 2: Make that “Brick” Grayson!

    5. Balloon 1: Return to “cinder”…
    Balloon 2: Address unknown!

  67. 1. Balloon 1. “Holly block and chain, Batman.”
    Balloon 2. “My a$$.”
    2. Balloon 1. Crime scene 101.
    Balloon 2. Body dumping.
    3. Balloon 1. Trust me Robin.
    Balloon 2. It really is a floating block.
    4. Balloon 1. You going undercover like this,
    Balloon 2. Is the only way to catch the body dumpers.

  68. Balloon 1: Holy Houdini, Batman. How will I ever get out of this?!”
    Balloon 2: You’ll think of something, Boy Wonder. (evil grins)

  69. 4. Balloon 1: We have to beat…
    Balloon 2: David Blaine at his own game!

    5. Balloon 1: Trust me…
    Balloon 2: Joker gave me this.

  70. Full Metal Crab

    Balloon 1-You just left the seat up…
    Balloon 2-For the last time!!

  71. 1) Some dead weight…
    2) for the dead weight!

  72. Me, Myself & I

    B1: I wonder if Davy Jone’s Locker . . .
    B2: stinks like our locker room at the Batcave?

  73. Balloon 1: Now that all the bad guys are locked up in Arkham Asylum again, I need to save someone to improve my image.
    Balloon 2: (takes off the costume) Don’t worry Robin, I’ll save you!

    Balloon 1: And now for your test escaping drowning
    Balloon 2: I had to go through it too you know

    Balloon 1: The best way to overcome your fear
    Balloon 2: Is to face it fair and square

  74. Balloon 1: No! My Cinder block!
    Balloon 2: I’ll not have you use it in your kinky sex-games, Robin!

    Balloon 1: Remember the plan. I’m going undercover as “Mugsy Bat Mann
    Balloon 2: and you’re going undercover as dead body at the bottom of the river.

  75. 1) Well, it is Shark Week
    2) old CHUM!

  76. 1: Take it away, take it away,
    2: Take away this ball and chain.

    1: You want a pet fish?
    2: Here have 2 billion!

    1: My bat submarine is broken,
    2: So here is the next best thing.

    1:I’ll be damned,
    2: if dateline ruins my reputation!

  77. i’ll drill this idea into the skulls of my colleauges but we should have a sith lords contest

  78. Me, Myself & I

    Well ajw you are persistent, I’ll give you that. Two words though . . . Copy Write.

    B1: Well old CHUM . . .
    B2: Lets see how they take the bait.

    B1: By the way Robin;
    B2: The chain’s aren’t fakes like we planned.

    B1: Only one animal was harmed in the testing of this product.
    B2: I big annoying Ribin!

  79. Balloon 1: I’m sick of your stupid green speedos!
    Balloon 2: Which will come in very handy.

  80. Me, Myself & I

    Opps typo.

    B1: Only one animal was harmed in the making of this production.
    B2: One big annoying Ribin!

  81. ajw, we can’t do a Sith lords contest because Sith and Jedi are copyrighted creations of LucasFilms. To have a contest along those lines would place me and UGO (and you, for that matter, if you entered) in legal jeopardy.

  82. balloon1: “Sorry Dick, but I owe Aquaman a favor.”
    balloon2: “I’ll see you on Monday.”

  83. balloon1: “I’m sorry that it has to end this way, Robin.”
    balloon2: “But I’m not ready to come out of the closet.”

  84. balloon1: “Quick, someone’s coming. Duck under the boat.”
    balloon2: “I’ll come get you when it’s safe.”

  85. 1) Hey Boy Wonder
    2) Tell Deadman I said hi

  86. 1) I don’t need you
    2) I’m a magnet to teenage orphan boys

  87. 1) I told you once I told you a million times
    2) Im the only one who can give Catwomem catnip

  88. 1) Take that Clayface
    2) Relay hope that was Clayface

  89. 1) Darn you Mad Hatter…
    2) I hate fedoras!

  90. 1) Take that Clayface
    2) Now, Robin let’s… Robin?!

  91. 1) Calender Man, CALENDER MAN?!?!
    2) You lost to Calender Man!?!?

  92. Christian Incandella

    [First entry deleted for inappropriate content.]

    Balloon 1) And this is what happens when…
    Balloon 2) you mess with my care-bear collection.

    Balloon 1) I want to be Harry Potter today
    Balloon 2) Let’s hope I have enough Gillyweed.

    Balloon 1) Change the name to the “Robin-cave”??
    Balloon 2) We can’t be having thoughts like THAT!

  93. Balloon 1) Its over between us Robin, Rorschach gave me his letterman jacket!

    Balloon 2) Now hit the bricks Flipper, hope you brought some ShamWows!!

  94. B1: OK, Robin it’s sink-and-swim!
    B2: Wait…It IS “and”, right?

  95. Ballon one:Have you got the bat Chain and Bat Cinder block Jason?. Jason!!!!!!
    Ballon two: Oh well ill get make up a story with Joker

  96. Balloon 1: Sorry, BURT…
    Balloon 2: but ADAM WEST shares his convention spotlight with NOBODY !

  97. well no sith but evil mystical space lord contest could work
    1: Now this is what i’d call
    2: a wet dream!

  98. Me, Myself & I

    B1: Sleep tite . . .
    B2: Don’t let the shark’s bite.

  99. Balloon 1: Some how…
    Balloon 2: This just feels really good.

  100. 1) Hey kids, you to can fish for sharks. All you need is a cinder block, chains, and a annoying sidekick.

    2) Step one, kinda obvious… don’t you think?

  101. 1) Robin the key is in your utility belt!
    2) Hey whats this in my pocket?

  102. 1) Robin…
    2) I don’t think you can beat Harry Houdini’s record.

  103. 1) Faster than a speeding bullet my butt.
    2) Think he’d be here by now.

  104. Balloon 1: I’m sorry Robin but….
    Balloon 2: no one must know I’m Samuel L. Jackson

  105. 1. Using your sidekick as an anchor,2.Priceless!

  106. Me, Myself & I

    B1: So Sidekick doesn’t mean kicking you over the side?
    B2: Wow, English is hard!

  107. 1. Balloon 1: Ok smart mouth why don’t you
    Balloon 2: CHANNEL HOUDINI!

    2. Balloon 1: Don’t worry Robin, I’m sure I used the foam block and chains
    Balloon 2: No wait, I left them at home. Sorry old chum

    3. Balloon 1: I though I told you
    Balloon 2: Never make fun of the purple suit!

  108. 1) I told you already…
    2) I could totally beat Spider Man!

  109. 1) No way its not possible!
    2) In Superman Return he would never be able to pick up an island of kryptonite!

  110. 1) No way NO NO NO!
    2) The Dark knight was way better that Superman Returns!

  111. 1) Im way better than Tony Stark.
    2) How does a billionaire, playboy, genius have a heat condition.

  112. 1) Take this!
    2) Thats for saying Kite man should be in the next movie/

  113. 1) What you just wanted to fit in if Aqua lad jumped off a bridge would you?
    2) Fine i’ll help

  114. 1) Take that!
    2) This is for making me row all the way out here to kill you!

  115. 1)Holy cement cube robin…
    2) its a cinder block!

    1) Weights and water-
    2) your only 2 weakness’s!

  116. 1) X box is better…
    2) Im rich but PS3 still to expensive.

  117. 1) Whats that you want to drive the bat sub?
    2) Fine go get it!

  118. 1:Borrow my spandex underwear will you?
    2:Let this be a lesson to you!

  119. Kenny Cannon

    1) “If you can’t even escape from this”
    2) “You can’t be in my next movie”
    or
    1) “Honestly Old Chum, its really nothing personal”
    2) “But if Superman doesn’t need a sidekick, neither do I”
    or
    1) “Do me a favor while you are down there Robin”
    2) “Tell Aquaman he still owes me $10”

  120. 1)See alfred?!
    2)I told you I’ed do it!!!

    Thats mine, it’s the best.
    :p

  121. 1)Huh….I always escape from those…
    2)Opps…

    I think that fits what going on.
    Don’t you?

  122. Sorry Robin….
    Hate MJ’s sloppy seconds

  123. Me, Myself & I

    B1: I don’t think this is what they expected . . .
    B2: When they came up with the Truth or Dare game.

  124. balloon1: “I’m always right. And this will prove it.”
    balloon2: “Professor Plum did it in the ocean, with the chain.”

  125. 1) Ok Robin were going to test the new Bat Shark Repellent…
    2) *sniff sniff* do I smell old spice?

  126. 1: Child protective services?
    2: Protect this!

    1: The Safe Word is…
    2: Glub-glub-glub!

    1: Holy this…
    2: Holy that…

  127. 1: Wait ’til he finds out…
    2: …it’s only 2 feet deep!

    1: Sorry, old chum, but…
    2: Frank Robbins hates you!

    1: I guess a Danger Room…
    2: Wasn’t such a good idea!

  128. Galactic Ketchup

    Balloon 1: Now you know
    Balloon 2: How Jason Todd felt!

  129. Kriss Blackwater

    B1:Hahaha! Wait…
    B2:Now who’s gonna keep me company *sniff*

    B1:Its all your fault!
    B2:Your the one who wore those itty bitty briefs

    B1:I said don’t wash my coat with your pjs!
    B2:You just wouldn’t listen, now would you!

  130. 1) No theirs no sharks.
    2) Its just Shark Week.

  131. Me, Myself & I

    B1: For the last time.
    B2: You have to seperate the colors from the whites!

  132. just thought I’d say, as a suggestion, we should totally have a martial artist and/or ninja character contest.

  133. 1)See alfred?!
    2)I told you I’ed do it!!!
    ___________________________________
    1)Huh….I always escape from those…
    2)Opps…
    ___________________________________
    1)I always wanted to try this!
    2)Now if you get worried say, glub glub.