Chicken feet

In general, you don't want to associate yourself with a chicken when planning your super-adventuring career. I'm not saying chickens are bad animals, I'm just saying they're stupid, prone to killing themselves in spectacularly foolish ways, smelly, cowardly, and tasty when deep fried, none of which are attributes you particularly want to identify yourself with.

Unfortunately, no one gave Black Talon the memo:

blacktalonbv1

I get that he's a big scary voodoo guy, but somehow he missed the point that while chickens commonly appear in voodoo rituals, it's almost always as a result of having their heads chopped off and their blood drained into a bowl for drinking!

Besides the alarming connotations (has he never even HEARD of KFC?!), this costume has other problems. First, you never want to consider an outfit that involves a diaper. If you're incontinent or prone to wetting yourself when danger threatens, maybe super villainy isn't your ideal career choice.

Second, the hard and fast rule of super-adventuring is that no one can successfully pull off a bird beak as part of their headgear. Not even Hawkman.

Finally, no costume should ever involve bird feet. Ever. They look ridiculous and will inevitably trip you up if you need to flee the scene which, let's be honest, is quite likely if you're oblivious enough to name yourself after a chicken.

(Character and image © Marvel Comics.)

8 Responses to Chicken feet

  1. I’m guessing this is the same guy…

    http://www.4thletter.net/gavok/deadpool/15.jpg

    And I imagine everyone’s reaction is the same as Deadpool’s when they see him.

  2. Dynomutt is trying desperately to hold his snickering….

  3. I dunno, I think that it’s the ROOSTER CREST that really completes the outfit.

    Also, the leftmost speech balloon — at first I thought he was addressing ‘Dodoman’, which is quite possibly the only premise for a bird-themed superhero worse than chickens. Alas, ’tis Voodooman.

    Actually, I guess Ostrich-man would be pretty terrible. And Peacock-man would have some unfortunate impliations.

  4. I don’t usually do this, but “If you’re incontinent or prone to wetting yourself when danger threatens, maybe super villainy isn’t your ideal career choice” makes me laugh every time I read it. +1 ego stroke!

  5. Also, great link there Runt, thanks!

  6. No, see, the key is BRAZEN incontinence — wetting yourself and not caring! Then, while the hero is busy being doubled over with laughter,(see Deadpool above) you STRIKE.

    And how embarrassing would it be to admit you got your ass handed to you by someone with no bladder control. That’s a defeat you can’t put ANY kind of positive spin on.

    Also, what is BT here from?

  7. Black Talon really thinks he is the cock of the walk, but I don’t think he is anything to crow about!

  8. Maybe he is auditioning for a talon show! I think Black Talon should go pluck himself! I’ll be here all week, folks! Drive home safely, and have a good night!