It’s not the size of a man’s ME …

I haven’t done an “onomontoPOWia” post in quite a while, but I can’t pass this up:

bloodstrike-13-budda

Don’t let yourself get distracted by the seething mass of pus-filled bulges that constitute his “muscles” or his grotesque anatomical proportions or the pathetic inking or the lackluster color or the lingering questions of where his other hand is and what happened to the handle of that gun. Because that would be a rookie mistake.

No no, the real star of this little tableaux is the onomontoPOWia. Specifically, look how big his shouted “ME!” is compared to the BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA of the gun’s discharge.

If a guy brings a gun that big to a fight and it’s quiet enough to not even be shushed by a librarian, something is definitely amiss. Image characters of the Nineties were all about the macho, and clearly this guy’s trying, but he’s never going to make the big leagues with a wimpy weapon like that. I mean, a flying headband and skintight faceless ski mask and obnoxious musculature and bad attitude and gravity-defying shoulder pads will only get you so far, you know? At some point you have to fire that boomstick and when you do, you’d better be able to bring it, bucko!

Although, if guys with “Little Man Syndrome” buy big flashy cars to overcompensate, maybe he’s buying a teeny tiny sounding gun to … undercompensate?

Nah. No one in the Image Nineties would be able to resist showing off an … asset … as big as that would imply. On the contrary, they’d be hanging a dozen pouches off of it and giving it its own title.

(From “Bloodstrike” number 13, ©1994, Image Comics.)

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 44 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

6 Responses to It’s not the size of a man’s ME …

  1. It could be just that Rob can’t spell. We all know he can’t draw. The might not be blasting out projectiles or laser-fire. I don’t see anything being discharged from the barrel(s). There’s that jagged glare, but that could just be the gun’s word balloon. The gun might just be saying, “BUDDY BUDDY BUDDY” And the rest, most likely edited out….”Let’s not hurt these guys, we should all be friends instead.”

  2. The Dalai Lama definately won’t like this one…

  3. this guy should gave been on the whos the bigger douchebag poll.

  4. Got it! The weapon launches hot budda onto bread for only $19.95, plus shipping & handling. Parkay, you say? Then Gero’s right, and it sure shoots dem Buddas! Noperz? Hmm. Dang you, Liefeld!! Deadpool plus Cable equals Barbarella on the Playboy channel, not this, th-this bubbling monstrosity that only strikes at the sight of blood with a butter gun! Yeah, that something is YOU, budda!

  5. Obviously, he’s punched his left hand right into the wall in a fit of steroidal rage.

  6. I have to say that the Image nineties is seriously all *bleep*ed up thanks to Liefield’s influence.