Flowers aren’t scary

I think making your helmet look like some sort of animal eating your head is a bad move when it comes to crafting a good super-hero outfit, but at least animals actually eat other things, a lesson seemingly lost on the Court Seamstress at Casa de Jade Flower:


For the record, walking around looking like you're being eaten by a flower is not -- repeat, not -- intimidating to your opponents. Anything that makes you look like something The Joker would shrink and stick in his lapel should, as a rule, be avoided when putting together your costume. Whenever you walk out of the house and people start pointing and/or laughing, you should probably turn back around and slip into something fishnet just to be safe.

In other words, that headpiece is appallingly bad.

The rest of the outfit is standard super-fantasy-villain fare and perfectly serviceable, and I by all means encourage more leggy females to saunter around in hot Robin half-boots and two dishrags joined by a bikini top, but anyone wearing anything on their head that makes me want to pluck them ought to be hung.

Finally, I get that all of the Amethyst nobles are named after particular gems, but that makes me wonder where Fire Jade is hiding her fire jade and why she went for the flower angle in the first place. And why there's no fire on her.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'd like to lead the expedition to discover the location of that fire jade on her person, although we'd probably end up as just fronds and I'd have to leaf her alone, back-petaling away like made to try and stem the flow of derision and insults and things in that vein.

(Character and image ©DC Comics, Inc.)

11 Responses to Flowers aren’t scary

  1. Avatar Rickss says:

    The fact that se is called FIRE Jade and looks like a flower with a cape is a bit strange…

  2. After a bit of Googling, it could be some sort of reference to the Crassula Coccinea aka “Campfire” plant. Another plant of the Crassula genus? The Jade! In fact, I have found a few references to the Crassula Coccinea as “Fire Jade”. (Not a very common one though…) As this Lady Emerald alter ego of hers is referred to the “Mistress of Green Magic”. One could assume the creator decided to use the commonality of the name to play on the stone motif while still having a plant reference for the “Green Magic” thing. Silly? Yes. But it DOES make sense in a twisted fashion…

  3. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    Let’s not be too harsh with Fire Jade; after all, she IS showing some T&A.

  4. Avatar Little Barda says:

    Maybe she got lost on her way to Plantworld.

  5. Avatar The Imp says:

    BREEEP! BREEEP! Bad Pun Alert! Boot to the head for Jeff Hebert!


  6. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    JH is so punny!!

    BTW, doesn’t she look like Daffy Duck after he got atacked by a pencil?

  7. Avatar J says:

    Quote “but at least animals actually eat other things”

    Someone’s never heard of the venus fly trap apparently. I believe there are other carnivorous plants as well.

    While I agree that helmet looks pretty stupid, plants can be scary. No one ever really thinks about them as they walk through the woods. How many times has someone died because they ate a plant they shouldnt have or got stuck by a poisonous plant. And if they had a will of their own or someone to control them (like Poison Ivy)….. And let’s not forget The Happening.

  8. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    @J: Yeah, and that green daisy around her face is a Venus fly trap. Right.

    @Jose: Great comparison! That’s exactly what she looks like! Note that at no point do you want anyone pointing at your costume and comparing it in any way to a duck. Or daffy things.

  9. Avatar robert ball says:

    The costume, if it were another color, would be great! What did she make it out of – – old army blankets!? I think it should have been something like a lime or neon green. The name, however, is cool. I almost recognize the style but I can’t quite come up with the name of the artist. Anybody know where she’s from?

  10. Avatar The Imp says:

    It sort of looks like it might’ve been drawn by Mike Grell.

  11. Avatar robert ball says:

    A P.S. About the costume. After another look, that flower has got to go! And change the olive drab to, say, lime green and the “red” to Navy orange. Then you could call her Neon Jade!