No heavier burden than a bad costume

There's a reason Pampers doesn't make leopard-skin diapers, and besides a complete lack of absorption that reason is this:

originalatlas-choice-comics-1

Because even babies wouldn't be caught dead looking that ridiculous.

Not so "Atlas" from "Choice Comics #1". I guarantee that somewhere the god who gave him the idea for his powers is about to hit the "Smite" button.

Why? First, putting green, red, yellow, black, and orange all in the same costume ought to be a hanging offense. Combine that with long sleeves over no pants and it should change to a shooting, then hanging offense. Top it all off with a big huge stiff collar and no cape, and you've got a crime against fashion that can only be expiated by tacking on a trampling by hillbillies on their way to a ten minute dollar sale at the Wal-Mart, then a shooting, and finally a hanging for good measure.

My favorite part, though, is how proud Atlas is of his big red belt and its enormous yellow "A". I imagine he's barely learned his letters, having just mastered the first one, and he wants to show it off.

So to recap, we have a color-blind illiterate wearing animal-print diapers and no pants, who forgot to attach his cape to his popped collar, which is a shame since it would have hidden the chest logo the nice man at the Logos-R-Us store promised was a fist but which is, in fact, a thinly veiled call to party with Hannah and her Five Sisters. And they wonder why the comic never took off.

11 Responses to No heavier burden than a bad costume

  1. He’s not wearing leopard-skin diapers so you’re OK Damien, but damn, that’s close isn’t it?!

  2. And I did this like three months ago! I mean, look at the items I used…

  3. The above rainbow disaster is an extreme case, but ruining a costume can be done with a lot lesser amount of colors. I have noticed, that a good costume has a two color scheme, one lighter, other darker. A third color works too, but only if it is either black or white. In addition to the basic scheme some brown and gray can be added for metallic, wooden or leathery accessories. Anything beyond that usually doesn’t work.

  4. MartianBlue

    I was wondering if the next costume contest might be to fix the bad costumes or would that be copyright infringment? Here’s an example I done.
    http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m189/acebase_2006/Hero%20Forum/AtlasV2.jpg

  5. OH! Could we get some fractals for patterns? I think that a repeated Mandelbrot could be wicked!

    …for some reason this picture reminded me of this idea I had meant to push forward.

  6. Damien, only you could create somthing that ended up being very close to that guys costume couldnt you πŸ˜›

  7. Jigglypuff

    I’ve already fixed Knodar’s costume by getting rid of the P’s and extensively changing the prison fetish outfit to one that is more realistic and closer to a 25th-century assassin with a bunch of badass gun, which I think can and will fly in today’s comics.

  8. he’s one part ape-man and one part Evil over lord.

  9. I’d say that’s the worst one you’ve ever shown us.