Caption Contest 50

If you want to win your own custom black and white illustration of (almost) anything you like, put on your comedian hat and come up with the funniest caption for this comic book panel:

stormwatch-1-aegis-1994

I love the guy's expression. And his giant shoulders hunched over the relatively tiny-looking gun. Apparently I'm sick.

As always, the rules are simple. Leave no more than three (3) entries in the comments to this post, preferably keeping them somewhat suitable for a general audience. I'll choose and announce a winner in one week, who will receive a custom black and white illustration of whatever they like (within reason). That's it! So either get busy funny or get busy ... um, not being funny. Or something.

83 Responses to Caption Contest 50

  1. 1.”HOLY CRAP IT’S REAL!”

    2.”OMGWTF NO BULLETS!”

    3.”BWOOM?! WHY CAUSE I’M SWEEPING THE FLOOR WITH THEM!?”

  2. 1) “I feel inadequate!”
    2) “What the hell is wrong with this gun?”
    3) “Guys, we’re in trouble now. I got Liefelded!”

  3. 1. How do I turn this thing off?!

    2. You said it was set on stun!

  4. -What??? This gun firepower is OVER 9000!

    – Oh no. This is not the B.F.G. It’s a Chinese copy!

  5. I hate commuting.

    For the last time, no, I do not wanna buy a flower!

  6. Off topic: I can’t tell what’s supposed to be happening in this panel. Is he standing there shooting things, flying over a landscape, or what? I’m beginning to see why you hate Liefeld’s art so much šŸ™‚

  7. I really should credit these, sorry Niall. It’s actually art by Dwayne Turner, but it is from 1994-era Image. See, Liefeld was so bad he infected OTHERS. Maybe that’ll be my next “reason”.

    In this panel the main character, with an embarrassment of weaponry, is blowing away enemies with no remorse on a featureless field of flame, while other hugely-muscled teammates pose and flex. You know, the standard.

  8. 1. McCain! Palin! Feel the wrath of the Obamanator!

    2. I left the stun gun on the recharger too long!

    3. THIS…IS…COMPTON!

  9. 1. “BWOOM”?! It was supposed to go “FWOOSH”! FWOOOOOSH!!!

  10. 1. Ha! nobody expects the spanish inquisition!
    2. SHOOP DA WHOOP!!

  11. “Damn! Of all the times to get earthquake in the pants.”

  12. “I am NOT overcompensating!!!”

  13. “I DON’T WANT TO SWITCH FISHBOWL INSURANCE COMPANIES!!”

  14. The Dudemeister

    Ooops…Good Gosh, I smell awfull!! Quick, help me get this helmet off!

    Last time I stop off at Taco Bell on my way to battle demon skeletons.

  15. 1. *Sniff *Sniff.. Is that bacon?
    2. And Captain America said it was too small.
    3. Dont Mess with me… or ill use this facial expression to fry you!!!!

  16. Woops, did I do that?

  17. 1) Okay you guys, fess up, who filled my Super Soaker with lava?

    2) Jesus Christ! I thought this was a flashlight!

    3) This gun was designed very poorly! Its proximity to my exposed arms has caused my a considerable amount of pain and debilitation! I feel certain that I can no longer continue this battle!

  18. That Global Warming’s a real problem, huh?!

  19. I’m black and you history

  20. 1. “Yo baby, you told me this hair dryer was on ‘low’!”

    2. “Forget Ghostbusters, you know who to call from now on!”

    3. “Hey Wonderwoman, a little help here!”

  21. 1) Mr. T pitties you, fool!
    2) Don’t cross the streams! (Ghostbusters ftw! ;D )
    3) I said: If you eat someone elses cake again I’ll give you a slice of special Terry Tates pain cake. Here it goes! WOO!

    (Terrible Terry Tate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8702Im2P18)

  22. 1: “Doooooooooooooooooooom!!!”

    2: “Big explosions come in small packages, if the gun is not proof enough look at my head!”

    3: “Bwoom! You bastard you killed them!”

    ( not a post unless it can be excepted then take out number 1 )

    x: “Say hello to my little friend!”

  23. 1. EEEEEEE! BUG!

    2. I’ve had with these zombies in this panel!

    3. HUNCH BACK POWER!!!

  24. 1] NASA didn’t say NUTHIN’ about this #&@%!!
    2] Activate voice log. Mood: pensive. I’m walking to work today. I’m running a little late and WHAT THE CRAP WHERE DID THE FLAMING SKELETONS COME FROM KILL ‘EM KILL ‘EM KILL ‘EM KILL ‘EM!!!!
    3] Mental note. The plasmic death ray works well, but the suit insulation begins to fail at about 700 degrees…

  25. 1. AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Roach!

    2. Bwoom?! Waddaya mean, Bwoom?

    3. Watch where you’re shoving that stick, lady!

  26. 1. Check out my new gun. I call it the WOOM BWOOM!

    2. Shoulder pads, ridiculous gun, and crazy sound effects. Hi, my name is Battalion, and I’m an Iron Age character.

    3. Oh, come on! Zombies? Again?!

  27. No no no!! I wanted exfoliate. EXFOLIATE, not exterminate. Oh Hamburgers.

  28. Holy Shish-Kabbalah. That’s a ray gun.

  29. 1) And I’ll keep shootin’ till someone tells me why I got a blimp on my back!

    2) My god! They said this was a leaf blower!

    3) I so wanna eat my gun… Stupid helmet.

  30. To dorn: #1 resulted in instant LOL. congrats.

  31. 1. Bwoom goes the dwynomite!

  32. Oh no! This is a bad time for this suit to start chafing!

  33. You are going to vote for my stimulus bill, and you are going to like it!

  34. STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!!

  35. 1) Why do I always have to kill everything with fire?

    2) Get these mother*@*!@* zombies, outta this mother*@*!@* room!

    3) I’ll bring order to this court, even if I’ve gotta kill everyone in it!

  36. We need back up, Leifeld’s worst are on their way!!

  37. Oh no it went off prematurely. I swear that has never happened to me before.

  38. Wah!!! this doesn’t help people at all!!!

  39. The Doomed Pixel

    1) Medium Rare. Why?
    2) I will NOT wait until StarCraft II comes out!

  40. Are you asking for an invite to my next BWOOM-beque?

  41. I love the smell of BWOOM! in the morning.

  42. 1. Meet your parents you said! They’re cool you said! Not so cool now huh???

    2. It’s a freakin’ desert planet! You want water? Move to a water planet. Morons!

    3. I wasn’t asking for steroids! Droids! Droids damn you!!!

  43. 1. My idea of gun control is two hands!

  44. 2. Give me back my neck!!!!!

  45. StrangezThingez

    1.This gun is letting out some serious gas!

    2.Sweet baby Jesus, they told me this was a “fire hose!”

    3.Guys, try not to die while I turn this off… Wait, how DO you turn this off!?

  46. 1) In very small letters “ooops!”

    2) “Is this thing on?”

    3) “What’s this one do?”

  47. @ Jeff: Could you replace “Obamanater” with “Obamanator”(8th comment,1st entry)? Sorry I messed up.

  48. 1. It’s time to fire PREYOW and fire BWOOM, and Im all outta PREYOW.
    2. ROAR I AM THE MASTER GAUNTLET, YOU THERE, DIE!!! yes yes good boy.
    3. HADOKEN!!!

  49. Outta the way, I’m gonna be sat on!

    Oh my god! Look at the feet, look at the feet!

    Throw stones at me!

  50. 1. I keep telling you, NOBODY stops the Coletrain baby!

    2. Its about damn time they gave me a real job. I HATED doing snakes on a plane.

    3. This alternate reality where Hillary won really sucks!

  51. 1. We come in peace! HAHA, always wanted to do that!

    2. Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my BWOOM-stick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

    3. Hey, anybody know where I can find 5th and Main?

  52. 3. “Join the Space Marines, they said.. See the Universe, they said… Ha! I should have stayed in college!”

  53. correction to above entry, I meant to say Galaxy

  54. 1. “I kept tellin’ ya Alice..One a these days..BWOOM!! ZOOM!! TO DA MOON!!!”

    2. “well wadda ya know…One buwwet weft.”

    3. “Somebody get this thing off my head!! Ican’t breathe!!!”

  55. The Dudemeister

    Flame Thrower + Bean Burrito = Bye Bye Bad Guys.

  56. The Dudemeister

    Take THAT! You know the best way to heal a burn? Aroma Therapy! *Grunt*

  57. [1] ‘Buzz Lightyear’!? I’m Couz Frightfear, sucka!
    [2] You can’t talk to me like that! I’m Moe Green!!
    [3] Twoo faw da pwice o’ won! Faw down, go bwoom…

  58. 3- What do you mean, they are our friends?

    By the way, that caption constest was hard, Even “Asta La Vista Baby” was too good for the art quality.

  59. 1. I know what you’re thinking, and YES, I AM comfortable with the size of my BWOOM!

    2. (singing) He Bangs, He Bangs, ooh baby, He Bwooms He Bwooms.

    3. Go-Go Gadget De-Liefeld Ray!

  60. “I’m a mean, black mutha from outerspace, and I am baaad!”

  61. 1. HOW THE HELL DID WE GET TO LIEFIELD-LAND!!!!

    2. I FEEEEL Nice and Im SuperBAaAaAD!!!

    3. I ,The Rock, swear to KILL the director!!!!! THIS ISNT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR WHEN I SIGNED THE CONTRACT FOR Doom!!!!

  62. And as you can see…. I HAVE A WEBSITE!!!!!!

  63. that and this, arent posts

  64. 1) Eat Orange Kool-Aid Suckas!

    2)I love the smell of…whatever…the hell..this is in the morning!

    3)You told me I was gonna be a firefighter!

  65. (ot) RJ mcd has the best. I’m still laughing over it.

  66. I guess the New York Post is going to need another cartoonist!

  67. Jeff…hey dude….I just thought of something….you should keep score…not just of people who win, but for people who honorable mention…like..if you win, you get say, 2 points, and honorable mention, 1 point, and if you get 20 points, you get a portrait, maybe 30 if you make it colored…! What do you think? and you can post the scorings once a week, or month, or whatever…? anybody else think this is cool?

  68. @Cory: Sounds to me.

  69. awesome! I agree with these guys. I’ve got like 3 different pics I’d like done. Now, if only someone could find my jokes the least bit funny….

  70. DIE AND BURN IN HELL YOU BASTARDS!!! Oh wait, never mind. I need a better battle cry.

  71. “Is that a spot on my helmet!”

    “Oops.”

    “My Dealdy Beam of Death.”

  72. “I knew I shouldn’t have seen the jonas brothers live!”

  73. 1. No flash photography? But what could–AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    2. Hey, you CAN fight fire with fire! I thought that was a metaphor.
    3. Aw man, I had the best flaming-zombie catch phrase and now I can’t remember it. EVERY FREAKIN’ TIME!

  74. My name is Micheal J. Caboose and I HATE Babies!!!
    Its not that size, its how you use it b*****!

  75. Who the hell thought fighting flaming skeltons with a flamthrower would would work?! I’m lookinjg at you missy!

  76. BRANDON FUNCHES

    1. I SAID DON’T TOUCH MY EGGO! WHO TOUCHED MY EGGO WAFFLES?
    YOU? LET GO MY EGGO!

    2. EEEEEKK!, YOU HAVE A BUG ON YOU!

    3. I SAID DON’T CALL ME ”BOBBLE- HEAD”’ EVER AGAIN!

  77. @jeff: correction, 1.HOW THE HELL DID WE GET TO LIEFIELD-LAND!!!!——VOID

    1. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME, HOW IN THE HELL LIEFIELD DOES THIS SH**!!!!!!????!!!!!!

  78. HalLoweEn JacK

    1. This may be your land but IT’S OUR OIL!!!

  79. HalLoweEn JacK

    2. AND THIS IS FOR MY MUMMY NOT LETTING ME KEEP THAT PUPPY WHEN I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE!

  80. HalLoweEn JacK

    3. Who doesn’t have superpowers NOW?!

  81. 1. AHHH why is my penis shouting BWOOOM
    2. God nag this hair dryer i cant get it to ….. oh erm sorry guys
    3. i just cant have you on board at the moment im gonna have to say your fired