Caption Contest 50

If you want to win your own custom black and white illustration of (almost) anything you like, put on your comedian hat and come up with the funniest caption for this comic book panel:

stormwatch-1-aegis-1994

I love the guy's expression. And his giant shoulders hunched over the relatively tiny-looking gun. Apparently I'm sick.

As always, the rules are simple. Leave no more than three (3) entries in the comments to this post, preferably keeping them somewhat suitable for a general audience. I'll choose and announce a winner in one week, who will receive a custom black and white illustration of whatever they like (within reason). That's it! So either get busy funny or get busy ... um, not being funny. Or something.

83 Responses to Caption Contest 50

  1. Avatar DJ says:

    1.”HOLY CRAP IT’S REAL!”

    2.”OMGWTF NO BULLETS!”

    3.”BWOOM?! WHY CAUSE I’M SWEEPING THE FLOOR WITH THEM!?”

  2. Avatar Skiriki says:

    1) “I feel inadequate!”
    2) “What the hell is wrong with this gun?”
    3) “Guys, we’re in trouble now. I got Liefelded!”

  3. Avatar XStacy says:

    1. How do I turn this thing off?!

    2. You said it was set on stun!

  4. Avatar collex says:

    -What??? This gun firepower is OVER 9000!

    – Oh no. This is not the B.F.G. It’s a Chinese copy!

  5. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    I hate commuting.

    For the last time, no, I do not wanna buy a flower!

  6. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Off topic: I can’t tell what’s supposed to be happening in this panel. Is he standing there shooting things, flying over a landscape, or what? I’m beginning to see why you hate Liefeld’s art so much šŸ™‚

  7. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    I really should credit these, sorry Niall. It’s actually art by Dwayne Turner, but it is from 1994-era Image. See, Liefeld was so bad he infected OTHERS. Maybe that’ll be my next “reason”.

    In this panel the main character, with an embarrassment of weaponry, is blowing away enemies with no remorse on a featureless field of flame, while other hugely-muscled teammates pose and flex. You know, the standard.

  8. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. McCain! Palin! Feel the wrath of the Obamanator!

    2. I left the stun gun on the recharger too long!

    3. THIS…IS…COMPTON!

  9. Avatar Jester says:

    1. “BWOOM”?! It was supposed to go “FWOOSH”! FWOOOOOSH!!!

  10. Avatar Dom says:

    1. Ha! nobody expects the spanish inquisition!
    2. SHOOP DA WHOOP!!

  11. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Damn! Of all the times to get earthquake in the pants.”

  12. Avatar ninjast4r says:

    “I am NOT overcompensating!!!”

  13. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I DON’T WANT TO SWITCH FISHBOWL INSURANCE COMPANIES!!”

  14. Avatar The Dudemeister says:

    Ooops…Good Gosh, I smell awfull!! Quick, help me get this helmet off!

    Last time I stop off at Taco Bell on my way to battle demon skeletons.

  15. Avatar BLeeCh says:

    1. *Sniff *Sniff.. Is that bacon?
    2. And Captain America said it was too small.
    3. Dont Mess with me… or ill use this facial expression to fry you!!!!

  16. Avatar bgh2 says:

    Woops, did I do that?

  17. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    1) Okay you guys, fess up, who filled my Super Soaker with lava?

    2) Jesus Christ! I thought this was a flashlight!

    3) This gun was designed very poorly! Its proximity to my exposed arms has caused my a considerable amount of pain and debilitation! I feel certain that I can no longer continue this battle!

  18. Avatar EnderX says:

    That Global Warming’s a real problem, huh?!

  19. Avatar RJ mcd says:

    I’m black and you history

  20. Avatar Joshua says:

    1. “Yo baby, you told me this hair dryer was on ‘low’!”

    2. “Forget Ghostbusters, you know who to call from now on!”

    3. “Hey Wonderwoman, a little help here!”

  21. Avatar miggo says:

    1) Mr. T pitties you, fool!
    2) Don’t cross the streams! (Ghostbusters ftw! ;D )
    3) I said: If you eat someone elses cake again I’ll give you a slice of special Terry Tates pain cake. Here it goes! WOO!

    (Terrible Terry Tate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8702Im2P18)

  22. Avatar Ronin says:

    1: “Doooooooooooooooooooom!!!”

    2: “Big explosions come in small packages, if the gun is not proof enough look at my head!”

    3: “Bwoom! You bastard you killed them!”

    ( not a post unless it can be excepted then take out number 1 )

    x: “Say hello to my little friend!”

  23. Avatar Loki says:

    1. EEEEEEE! BUG!

    2. I’ve had with these zombies in this panel!

    3. HUNCH BACK POWER!!!

  24. Avatar Damien says:

    1] NASA didn’t say NUTHIN’ about this #&@%!!
    2] Activate voice log. Mood: pensive. I’m walking to work today. I’m running a little late and WHAT THE CRAP WHERE DID THE FLAMING SKELETONS COME FROM KILL ‘EM KILL ‘EM KILL ‘EM KILL ‘EM!!!!
    3] Mental note. The plasmic death ray works well, but the suit insulation begins to fail at about 700 degrees…

  25. Avatar Tal says:

    1. AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Roach!

    2. Bwoom?! Waddaya mean, Bwoom?

    3. Watch where you’re shoving that stick, lady!

  26. Avatar Timespike says:

    1. Check out my new gun. I call it the WOOM BWOOM!

    2. Shoulder pads, ridiculous gun, and crazy sound effects. Hi, my name is Battalion, and I’m an Iron Age character.

    3. Oh, come on! Zombies? Again?!

  27. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    No no no!! I wanted exfoliate. EXFOLIATE, not exterminate. Oh Hamburgers.

  28. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Holy Shish-Kabbalah. That’s a ray gun.

  29. Avatar syzyx says:

    1) And I’ll keep shootin’ till someone tells me why I got a blimp on my back!

    2) My god! They said this was a leaf blower!

    3) I so wanna eat my gun… Stupid helmet.

  30. Avatar Andemas says:

    To dorn: #1 resulted in instant LOL. congrats.

  31. Avatar Rob Rogers says:

    1. Bwoom goes the dwynomite!

  32. Avatar David says:

    Oh no! This is a bad time for this suit to start chafing!

  33. Avatar David says:

    You are going to vote for my stimulus bill, and you are going to like it!

  34. Avatar JonnyDemon says:

    STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!!

  35. Avatar Deadeas says:

    1) Why do I always have to kill everything with fire?

    2) Get these mother*@*!@* zombies, outta this mother*@*!@* room!

    3) I’ll bring order to this court, even if I’ve gotta kill everyone in it!

  36. Avatar The D-Man says:

    We need back up, Leifeld’s worst are on their way!!

  37. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Oh no it went off prematurely. I swear that has never happened to me before.

  38. Avatar epochfox says:

    Wah!!! this doesn’t help people at all!!!

  39. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    1) Medium Rare. Why?
    2) I will NOT wait until StarCraft II comes out!

  40. Avatar Joshy676 says:

    Are you asking for an invite to my next BWOOM-beque?

  41. Avatar Joshy676 says:

    I love the smell of BWOOM! in the morning.

  42. Avatar Rick says:

    1. Meet your parents you said! They’re cool you said! Not so cool now huh???

    2. It’s a freakin’ desert planet! You want water? Move to a water planet. Morons!

    3. I wasn’t asking for steroids! Droids! Droids damn you!!!

  43. Avatar Socrates says:

    1. My idea of gun control is two hands!

  44. Avatar Socrates says:

    2. Give me back my neck!!!!!

  45. Avatar StrangezThingez says:

    1.This gun is letting out some serious gas!

    2.Sweet baby Jesus, they told me this was a “fire hose!”

    3.Guys, try not to die while I turn this off… Wait, how DO you turn this off!?

  46. Avatar Bael says:

    1) In very small letters “ooops!”

    2) “Is this thing on?”

    3) “What’s this one do?”

  47. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    @ Jeff: Could you replace “Obamanater” with “Obamanator”(8th comment,1st entry)? Sorry I messed up.

  48. Avatar David says:

    1. It’s time to fire PREYOW and fire BWOOM, and Im all outta PREYOW.
    2. ROAR I AM THE MASTER GAUNTLET, YOU THERE, DIE!!! yes yes good boy.
    3. HADOKEN!!!

  49. Avatar von Bek says:

    Outta the way, I’m gonna be sat on!

    Oh my god! Look at the feet, look at the feet!

    Throw stones at me!

  50. Avatar James says:

    1. I keep telling you, NOBODY stops the Coletrain baby!

    2. Its about damn time they gave me a real job. I HATED doing snakes on a plane.

    3. This alternate reality where Hillary won really sucks!

  51. Avatar Steve says:

    1. We come in peace! HAHA, always wanted to do that!

    2. Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my BWOOM-stick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

    3. Hey, anybody know where I can find 5th and Main?

  52. Avatar Socrates says:

    3. “Join the Space Marines, they said.. See the Universe, they said… Ha! I should have stayed in college!”

  53. Avatar Socrates says:

    correction to above entry, I meant to say Galaxy

  54. Avatar John D says:

    1. “I kept tellin’ ya Alice..One a these days..BWOOM!! ZOOM!! TO DA MOON!!!”

    2. “well wadda ya know…One buwwet weft.”

    3. “Somebody get this thing off my head!! Ican’t breathe!!!”

  55. Avatar The Dudemeister says:

    Flame Thrower + Bean Burrito = Bye Bye Bad Guys.

  56. Avatar The Dudemeister says:

    Take THAT! You know the best way to heal a burn? Aroma Therapy! *Grunt*

  57. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    [1] ‘Buzz Lightyear’!? I’m Couz Frightfear, sucka!
    [2] You can’t talk to me like that! I’m Moe Green!!
    [3] Twoo faw da pwice o’ won! Faw down, go bwoom…

  58. Avatar collex says:

    3- What do you mean, they are our friends?

    By the way, that caption constest was hard, Even “Asta La Vista Baby” was too good for the art quality.

  59. Avatar Cory says:

    1. I know what you’re thinking, and YES, I AM comfortable with the size of my BWOOM!

    2. (singing) He Bangs, He Bangs, ooh baby, He Bwooms He Bwooms.

    3. Go-Go Gadget De-Liefeld Ray!

  60. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I’m a mean, black mutha from outerspace, and I am baaad!”

  61. 1. HOW THE HELL DID WE GET TO LIEFIELD-LAND!!!!

    2. I FEEEEL Nice and Im SuperBAaAaAD!!!

    3. I ,The Rock, swear to KILL the director!!!!! THIS ISNT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR WHEN I SIGNED THE CONTRACT FOR Doom!!!!

  62. And as you can see…. I HAVE A WEBSITE!!!!!!

  63. that and this, arent posts

  64. Avatar Brad says:

    1) Eat Orange Kool-Aid Suckas!

    2)I love the smell of…whatever…the hell..this is in the morning!

    3)You told me I was gonna be a firefighter!

  65. Avatar Cavalier says:

    (ot) RJ mcd has the best. I’m still laughing over it.

  66. Avatar Dan Swanson says:

    I guess the New York Post is going to need another cartoonist!

  67. Avatar Cory says:

    Jeff…hey dude….I just thought of something….you should keep score…not just of people who win, but for people who honorable mention…like..if you win, you get say, 2 points, and honorable mention, 1 point, and if you get 20 points, you get a portrait, maybe 30 if you make it colored…! What do you think? and you can post the scorings once a week, or month, or whatever…? anybody else think this is cool?

  68. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    @Cory: Sounds to me.

  69. Avatar Damien says:

    awesome! I agree with these guys. I’ve got like 3 different pics I’d like done. Now, if only someone could find my jokes the least bit funny….

  70. Avatar LoneWolf6155 says:

    DIE AND BURN IN HELL YOU BASTARDS!!! Oh wait, never mind. I need a better battle cry.

  71. Avatar Nathan says:

    “Is that a spot on my helmet!”

    “Oops.”

    “My Dealdy Beam of Death.”

  72. Avatar dr. Voxo says:

    “I knew I shouldn’t have seen the jonas brothers live!”

  73. Avatar Fishpants says:

    1. No flash photography? But what could–AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    2. Hey, you CAN fight fire with fire! I thought that was a metaphor.
    3. Aw man, I had the best flaming-zombie catch phrase and now I can’t remember it. EVERY FREAKIN’ TIME!

  74. Avatar Kaiju says:

    My name is Micheal J. Caboose and I HATE Babies!!!
    Its not that size, its how you use it b*****!

  75. Avatar thunder 2000 says:

    Who the hell thought fighting flaming skeltons with a flamthrower would would work?! I’m lookinjg at you missy!

  76. Avatar BRANDON FUNCHES says:

    1. I SAID DON’T TOUCH MY EGGO! WHO TOUCHED MY EGGO WAFFLES?
    YOU? LET GO MY EGGO!

    2. EEEEEKK!, YOU HAVE A BUG ON YOU!

    3. I SAID DON’T CALL ME ”BOBBLE- HEAD”’ EVER AGAIN!

  77. @jeff: correction, 1.HOW THE HELL DID WE GET TO LIEFIELD-LAND!!!!——VOID

    1. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME, HOW IN THE HELL LIEFIELD DOES THIS SH**!!!!!!????!!!!!!

  78. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    1. This may be your land but IT’S OUR OIL!!!

  79. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    2. AND THIS IS FOR MY MUMMY NOT LETTING ME KEEP THAT PUPPY WHEN I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE!

  80. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    3. Who doesn’t have superpowers NOW?!

  81. Avatar Spillman says:

    1. AHHH why is my penis shouting BWOOOM
    2. God nag this hair dryer i cant get it to ….. oh erm sorry guys
    3. i just cant have you on board at the moment im gonna have to say your fired