Caption Contest 39: Getting to the "point"

I am happy to announce that we have a Guest Judge for the caption contest this week. Jeff Rients from "Jeff's GameBlog" chose our panel (a Conan theme to go along with his interest in pen and paper RPGs) and will pick the winner next Tuesday. I'm not saying that going to his blog and raving about how awesome he is will get you a win, but hey, it can't hurt!

Now, here's your challenge! Come up with the best/funniest/most appropriate caption for this panel:


And you'll win your very own black and white custom illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert (i.e. me). The rules are simple:

  1. Keep it clean (appropriate for late-night broadcast network TV);
  2. Leave your entry in the comments to this post; and
  3. No more than three entries per person.

Now put that thinking cap on and get busy! And many thanks to Jeff Rients for agreeing to help out this week, I get a lot out of reading his gaming blog and appreciate the chance to work with him on this.

93 Responses to Caption Contest 39: Getting to the "point"

  1. NO! NO! NO! It’s head on a pike and its chin down.

  2. 1) Uggh, Mondays!

  3. 2) Hey, I can see my house from here!

  4. Reflecting my current Real Life state of mind:

    1) “When you got headache THIS big…”


    2) “Wait, does Comics Code approve this?”

  5. I have a headache.

  6. 3) “When I asked for a toothpick, I didn’t mean this…”

  7. 3) This is still better than having to watch that damn new Rosie O’Donnell show.

  8. 1.Its just a flesh wound!



  9. Oh, hell. Not again.

  10. barbarian on a sickkkkkkkk

  11. opps stick 🙂

  12. Second proposition :
    I have no digestive system and i want to vomit.

  13. a) I deal an extra 1d4 damage!
    b) Sucrets, please!
    C) [sings] I ain’t got no-body!

  14. It’s okay! I still have 5 hit points left!

  15. “either my head is really small or this guy is really big because something just isnt right here!”

  16. “I’ve had worse”

  17. 1. ‘Scuse me, you got a Band-Aid?
    2. Note to self: the roast beef is NEVER overcooked.
    3. Yes, waiter, I would like a high-chair.

  18. 1.) (completely deadpan, in upside-down text) Ow.
    2.) Good sir, I am afraid I must object to this.
    3.) Somehow, I’m not surprised.

  19. Avatar The Icedaemon

    “Oi! Is this the best you can do?”

    “OK, OK, I’ll talk, jeesh!”
    Fits the facial expression, one would hope.
    Same for:
    “*Sigh*, it’s one of those days again…”

  20. “What a pain in the neck!”

  21. “What knife?”


  23. “Hey! It doesn’t hurt when I pee anymore. Thanks doc.”

  24. “Now, as soon as everyone has taken their seats, Mr. Knapp will read the minutes of our last meeting.”

  25. What’s your point?

  26. Itch scratched. Thanks.

  27. [Sings] “Always look on the Bright side of life …”

  28. 1 “Wow, I could’ve had a V-8”

    2 “Today on ‘Wheel of Torture'”

    3 (in David Lee Roth’s voice) IIIIIIIII ain’t got no body!

  29. 1) Larynx? I don’t need no stinkin’ larynx!

  30. “I hate mondays.”

  31. Well *that* didn’t go as planned.

  32. 1st the eye, then the hand, now this..

  33. So… what’s you story?

  34. 1) Does this mean I can apply for a discorporate bail-out?

    2) dang it, what did the black knight say in that Monty Python movie? For some reason I think it would be witty right about now.

    3) hm…I’ve seemed to misplaced my left eye…

  35. 1) “Are you ready to surrender yet?”

    2) “Well, that’s easy for you to say.”

    3) “This is why I miss 2E. No barbarians!”

  36. “Jeez, it was just scrabble! Sore loser…”

  37. 2) Just call me Shishka Bob.

  38. 1 Ha! Tis a mear flesh wound!

    2 I don’t doc, I just got this percing headacre.

  39. you see, this is what happens when you play football with a head.

  40. KNIFE! Apply directly to the forehead! KNIFE! Apply directly to the forehead!

  41. ARRGGH! It’s bleeding on me!

  42. ” I see your point”

  43. “Surprise: intense discutions drives to problems”. Mmm maybe I should start taking the horoscope seriously…

  44. “Okay, now do your second worst.”

  45. I know this looks BAD…but seriously you should of seen how I lost my LEFT EYE!

  46. 1) So a sinus headache really does feel like this!

    2) Doctor I feel this stabbing pain behind my eye…

    3) This is your brain on knives. Any questions?

  47. “I should quit while I´m still ahead.”

  48. 1. You come on back sometime. I’ll keep an eye out for you.

    2. You could have just said “That’s too much eyeliner.”

    3. Don’t take…my…earring…

  49. All right…maybe I *do* have a problem with depth perception.

  50. Conan, could you brush that fly away from my speech balloon?

  51. (corrected version of a previous post)

    “That’s one way to get ahead”…What are you, Roger Moore? Pathetic. For one thing, if anyone’s ‘gotten a head’, it’s you. Now, if you’d cut my legs off you could’ve said I ‘don’t have a leg to stand on’…


    1) You may kill me, but another will rise. And he too will offer you cheap Canadian Viagra.

    2) I don’t think ‘turn that frown upside down’ means what you think it means…

    3) ‘That’s one way to get ahead’…What are you, Roger Moore the Barbarian? Pathetic. For one thing, if anyone’s ‘gotten a head’, it’s you. Now, if you’d cut my legs off and said I ‘don’t have a leg to stand on’…by the way, can you do ‘air quotes’ for me?

  53. *sigh* …it happens every time.

  54. I thought “downsizing” was just an expression!

  55. Alack! I must croak.
    Cimmerians are so Strong,
    Head lost in one Poke!

  56. “Life… Don’t talk to me about life.”

  57. “Vorpal Dagger, my a…”

  58. oops thats “I don’t know doc, I just got this percing headacre.”

  59. 1. Why yes, I am the head of Vecna. Go ahead, try me on.

    2. Ok, ok, maybe I was a little too headstrong.

    3. Impatient Barbarian! I was going to say “mano a mano”.

  60. Waiter, I ordered pike, not spike!

  61. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK

    Wow – so many good entries!

    Here goes…

    1. This wasn’t in the brochure!
    2. Hey… not my eye!
    3. …and now my nose itches.

  62. “Damn. I should have picked surrender.”

  63. And that’s when he said “Stick around…”

  64. 1. Let’s open some mail!
    2. Don’t eat me, I’m just garnish! Barbarians.

  65. 1.”MY EYES!!!!!!”

    2.”An after th surgery i had no chest pain at all.”

    3.”I think i’m losing my mind.”

  66. Now that’s what I call using your head!


  67. Avatar William A. Peterson

    {This probably has no chance, but it’s the first thing I thought of when looking at it…}
    “You’re probably wondering why I called this meeting…”

  68. 1. You put your head in, you take your head out, you put your head in, and you shake it all about…
    2. Well, I’ve completely forgotten about the pain in my knee.
    3. Are you ready to admit defeat, inferior one?

  69. Now you’re just playing with my head, aren’t you?

  70. Heads, you win.

  71. ALOT of good entries…but some are definitely overused…

    1. (weakly) khaaaaa….aaaan! Cough!
    2. So…Simon…does this mean I’m NOT through to the next round?
    3. TADAAA!

  72. if you really wanna look at it…if you want to take your title…To The “Point”….wouldnt the most simplest of entries be the winner?

  73. @Cory: Luckily I don’t have to decide, it’s up to guest judge Jeff Rients — head on over to and pitch it to him! His blog’s great if you have any interes in RPGs at all, he’s a very good writer and crazy creative.

  74. “So you’re saying I blew my saving throw?”

  75. I was going to try to come up with something but there are just too many hilarious entries here!

  76. Ah! My headache is gone.

  77. Y’know I was told this +1 Dagger would cost me an arm and a leg.. but this is too much!

  78. Haha! Missed all my vital organs!

  79. I STILL HAVE ONE !!!!!!

  80. 1) Is this a dagger I see before me?
    2) That’s the last time I keep an eye out!
    3) Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well, Horatio.

  81. Death… my one weakness.

  82. 1) Well, that went better than I had expected!
    2) The Dagger: Okay, I’m in!
    3) Ouchie…

  83. Hey, my contact popped out! Anyone see my contact lens?

  84. Avatar Zorbas The Awesome

    1. This isnt what i meant by wanting a one-eyed willy.

    2. Jane… this new torture phase isnt hot anymore.


  85. 1. You used too much of the force.

    2. Not going anywhere for a while?

    3. Should I be talking?

    By the way Skulan I like your last one

  86. Reading through there are a lot of entries I like, good stuff people

  87. I am Headless Jose. On a sti-ick.

  88. 1: Well, it could be worse…

    2: But… I wasn’t even wearing a red shirt!

    3: You have to do more than that to stop my bad jokes!

  89. Wait, wait! I still get my attack of opportunity!

  90. hey man my head dont hurt anymore. but can you give me back my eye it still hurts damnet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!