The Frog-Man cometh

I suspect that somewhere deep in Super-Hero Comic Book Publisher HQ is a machine whose sole purpose is to take a random animal and mash it together with the word "man" to produce a new character. That's about the only explanation I can come up with for Marvel's "Frog-Man":

bad-frog-man.jpg

The Frog-Man costume is worn by student Eugene Patillo, and as a character he's played for comedy. Which doesn't excuse this outfit, from the Cookie-Monster-like mouth hiding the eye slits to the bad color scheme to the most egregious offense against the costume gods -- a pair of Underoos covering a frog's genitals.

First, look, this is a family blog, but come on -- amphibians don't have external genitalia. That's just a biological fact, or at least a fact-like statement I made up without checking against Wikipedia because I'm just that lazy.

Second, the kid is in a full-body rubber costume, why does he need underpants on the outside? Couldn't he just have made an outfit like a giant frog, without worrying about the naughty bits since the actual bits in question were already covered by the aforementioned full-body rubber costume?

I'm not saying Vincent Patillo's little boy is an idiot, but at least judging by that outfit he's a few lily pads short of a pond, if you know what I mean.

(Frog-Man © Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc. And they're welcome to it.)

12 Responses to The Frog-Man cometh

  1. Yeah, but he’s great for Kentucky’s superhero team. You don’t think someone like Moon Knight would hang out in the Bluegrass state, right?

    That’s a real step-up for him. Vincent used to be a member of the Misfits along with the Toad and Spider-Boy.

  2. Without reading anything I see frog man and the Mini warrior above it when I came on the page and I gotta tell you, I thought you were doing an updated version of the frog or something in the mini at first glance…

  3. All right all right, I get it — no frog turtle armor!

  4. hahah Just playing Jeff!

  5. Oh no, you’re too late — I’ve already redone the armor. Who says I don’t listen to input?!

  6. That was fast sir!

  7. That’s what she said (badump bump)!

    Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week, tip your waitresses.

  8. Is that a spring on his foot?

  9. Yes, that is his sole (get it? sole? I just slay myself) power, built into the costume by his dad, electric-powered super-springs.

  10. lmao. I do believe you reek of cheddar jeff.

    So he can jump? Those springs would have to be like really strong cause he doesnt look like the skinnest fella.

  11. From the writeup, yeah, that was his deal — the springs let him jump high and far. He was a joke character, there mostly for comic relief.