Caption Contest 32: Electro-Santa

Santa's got his ... er ... "thinking" cap on, so you know it's time for another titanic, world-spanning, unbelievable HeroMachine Caption Contest! (Forgive me, I got possessed by Stan Lee for a moment there). Come up with the best replacement dialog for the panel below and win your very own custom black and white illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert (like these!):

impact-1-santa.jpg

As always you see, we post to you these rules three (sorry, got possessed by Dr. Seuss there for a minute):

  1. No more than three entries per person;
  2. Keep it appropriate for late-night broadcast teevee;
  3. Leave your entry in the comments to this post.

Good luck, everyone! As always, the winner will be announced one week from today (Tuesday).

48 Responses to Caption Contest 32: Electro-Santa

  1. Gregg the Creator

    1. Hey! Mrs. Claus made it for me!
    2. What the heck is in my hat?
    3. Get it off of me!

  2. Santa’s got Bling!

  3. “Great! Rudolph’s out sick, so now I have to wear this damn thing on my head.”

  4. “You see? This is what happens when I get a bright idea. That’s why I let the Mrs. do all the thinking.”

  5. Ashton Thomas

    1) Who dares give Zorkov the destroyer coal in his stocking?!

    2) Hah! You see whats under my hat now!? This is how I know when your sleeping!

    3)The elves decided that I should get in touch with the 21st century, so uh…Heres the new hat.

  6. 1) Where’s the tree, and why do I have this blasted headache?!

  7. 2) This is what happens when you have a gift exchange with Munchkins.

  8. 3) The fall line just ain’t what it used to be.

  9. Ho ho frickin’ ho! You wanna make somethin’ out of it?

  10. My head’s friggin hot allright??!!

  11. Let’s see Mrs. Claus complain about my head now…

  12. Did you mean to make a link for the phrase “like these”?

  13. This ? It’s the Naughty-Nice-O-Meter and you are Very Naughty!

  14. … so I told them where they could stick their Christmas tree!

  15. Behold The X.M.A.S 3000!!

  16. Oh God, Please let the old hat fit over the new hat.

  17. And I’m too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, whatcha think about that?

  18. 1. WHO WENT NUMBER 2 IN MY HAT?!?! NOW I HAVE TO WEAR THE BACK PACK!

    2.This isnt Mrs.Clause’s hat…that was someone wild birthday party.

    3.Happy birthday to meeee…happy birthday to mee”

  19. But I can take it off as soon as Grandma leaves, right mom?

  20. 1. Too much Vodka! Got to hurl!

    2. This thing cures headaches?

    3. What thing on my head?

  21. 1. Behold! My shiny new hat!

    2. How do you like me now?

    3. Long story short, this is what happens when you mix booze and super glue…

  22. 1) Fruit?!? Who would put fruit in a Christmas stocking? Oh…….I would.

    2) Urge to kill……RISING!!!

    3) I’ll never, EVER let the guys from Queer Eye give me a makeover again!

  23. The Doomed Pixel

    1) Where DID I leave my glasses?!?

  24. 1) … and this is how I know where all the bad girls live.

    2) What’s the matter? Are you Claustrophobic?

    3) Ok Subordinate Clauses! Time to hit the sack!

  25. 1. I hope for your sake that you have been a VERY good boy this year!
    2. THIS is how I know when they’re sleeping!!!
    3. I TOLD you, I’m not senile! I’ve been doing this job for centuries, so I think I know what I-… I’m wearing the wrong hat again, aren’t I?

  26. BA HA HA HAW BA SANTA’S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG !!

    BEHOLD SANTA 3000

    what ?? that guy was not the the President of the mens hair club.

  27. We are Borg, Resistance is Futile!

  28. 1. WHO WENT NUMBER 2 IN MY HAT?!?! NOW I HAVE TO WEAR THE BACK UP!

    2.This isnt Mrs.Clause’s hat…that was some wild birthday party!

    3.Happy birthday to meeee…happy birthday to mee”

    Edited because of my stupid sick self.

  29. 1) Yo, Dasher! What’d you put in the wassail, dude?
    2) I did WHAT to the reindeer?

  30. The Doomed Pixel

    2) What have you been doing in there?

  31. The Doomed Pixel

    3) I’m a dalek for Halloween.

  32. “You are getting very sleepy. Repeat after me. Tim Allen is not funny.”

  33. Where the heck is the bunny!?

    New ‘Tree ‘n Light Hat’! BUY TODAY!

  34. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

  35. “Last time I bet on Dallas!”

  36. 1. With the iHat, I can see who’s naughty and nice, get around the world in one night and play MP3s.

    2. …and the radiation won’t affect my balls! Hey, do you elves smell toast?

    3. Let’s see ya track me on radar this year, NORAD!

  37. 1: Oh, my aching cone…

    2: It’s my Skittles stash! A man’s gotta snack, alright?

    3: Damn, thought I put some spare batteries in here…

  38. 1. If MY hat is in my hand, then what the hell…
    2. Soilent Green is people!
    3. Well, I know a couple of drinking buddies who are going straight to the naughty list!

  39. 1. Perfect… Now they’ll never know about my bald spot!
    2. I should never have told Mrs. Claus I didn’t want a Christmas tree sweater.
    3. Hello, class. I’m Mr. Claus, your senior math teacher. Today, we’ll be studying conics/cones.

  40. 1~ I can’t believe it–HOFFA, after all these years…!
    2~ Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat…
    3~ Insert Bartholomew Cubbins reference here –> ___

  41. Bitten by a radioactive fir, I have become Tree-Santa! Witness my power!

  42. Zorbas The Awesome

    1. Why is there reindeer Sh** in my hat?! I dont have a back-up and im a tree-mutant! IM HIDEOUS!!

    2. great. MY ONLY HAT and it gets LICE! WHO’S THE JACK*** ELF WHO WORE MY HAT!? Now I have to wear a STUPID ELF HAT!!

    3. EEEEEW! i barfed in my hat! WHAT WAS IN THAT EGGNOG!!?

  43. How I wish I had a barf bag

  44. It puts the lotion on it’s skin

  45. 1.Now where did i put those glasses?

    2.So thats where Rudolph’s nose went to.

    3.Jesus, Tiny Tim what have i told you about hiding in my hat?

  46. 1. Wrong hat, you damn rabbit!

    2. I’m a chargin’ mah lazar!

    3. What?!? “Made in China?” Mrs. Claus said she hand-sewed it, the liar!

  47. Bah! Humbug!

  48. “Now THAT explains my headache!”