Caption Contest 32: Electro-Santa

Santa's got his ... er ... "thinking" cap on, so you know it's time for another titanic, world-spanning, unbelievable HeroMachine Caption Contest! (Forgive me, I got possessed by Stan Lee for a moment there). Come up with the best replacement dialog for the panel below and win your very own custom black and white illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert (like these!):


As always you see, we post to you these rules three (sorry, got possessed by Dr. Seuss there for a minute):

  1. No more than three entries per person;
  2. Keep it appropriate for late-night broadcast teevee;
  3. Leave your entry in the comments to this post.

Good luck, everyone! As always, the winner will be announced one week from today (Tuesday).

48 Responses to Caption Contest 32: Electro-Santa

  1. Avatar Gregg the Creator says:

    1. Hey! Mrs. Claus made it for me!
    2. What the heck is in my hat?
    3. Get it off of me!

  2. Avatar Rick says:

    Santa’s got Bling!

  3. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Great! Rudolph’s out sick, so now I have to wear this damn thing on my head.”

  4. Avatar Frankie says:

    “You see? This is what happens when I get a bright idea. That’s why I let the Mrs. do all the thinking.”

  5. Avatar Ashton Thomas says:

    1) Who dares give Zorkov the destroyer coal in his stocking?!

    2) Hah! You see whats under my hat now!? This is how I know when your sleeping!

    3)The elves decided that I should get in touch with the 21st century, so uh…Heres the new hat.

  6. Avatar Whit says:

    1) Where’s the tree, and why do I have this blasted headache?!

  7. Avatar Whit says:

    2) This is what happens when you have a gift exchange with Munchkins.

  8. Avatar Whit says:

    3) The fall line just ain’t what it used to be.

  9. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Ho ho frickin’ ho! You wanna make somethin’ out of it?

  10. Avatar Rick says:

    My head’s friggin hot allright??!!

  11. Avatar Rick says:

    Let’s see Mrs. Claus complain about my head now…

  12. Avatar Whit says:

    Did you mean to make a link for the phrase “like these”?

  13. Kaldath Kaldath says:

    This ? It’s the Naughty-Nice-O-Meter and you are Very Naughty!

  14. Avatar Patrick says:

    … so I told them where they could stick their Christmas tree!

  15. Kaldath Kaldath says:

    Behold The X.M.A.S 3000!!

  16. Avatar Bael says:

    Oh God, Please let the old hat fit over the new hat.

  17. Avatar Gregg says:

    And I’m too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, whatcha think about that?

  18. Avatar DJ says:


    2.This isnt Mrs.Clause’s hat…that was someone wild birthday party.

    3.Happy birthday to meeee…happy birthday to mee”

  19. Avatar Gregg says:

    But I can take it off as soon as Grandma leaves, right mom?

  20. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. Too much Vodka! Got to hurl!

    2. This thing cures headaches?

    3. What thing on my head?

  21. Avatar Yusuf Mumtaz says:

    1. Behold! My shiny new hat!

    2. How do you like me now?

    3. Long story short, this is what happens when you mix booze and super glue…

  22. Avatar Runt82 says:

    1) Fruit?!? Who would put fruit in a Christmas stocking? Oh…….I would.

    2) Urge to kill……RISING!!!

    3) I’ll never, EVER let the guys from Queer Eye give me a makeover again!

  23. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    1) Where DID I leave my glasses?!?

  24. Avatar Solander says:

    1) … and this is how I know where all the bad girls live.

    2) What’s the matter? Are you Claustrophobic?

    3) Ok Subordinate Clauses! Time to hit the sack!

  25. Avatar Jester says:

    1. I hope for your sake that you have been a VERY good boy this year!
    2. THIS is how I know when they’re sleeping!!!
    3. I TOLD you, I’m not senile! I’ve been doing this job for centuries, so I think I know what I-… I’m wearing the wrong hat again, aren’t I?

  26. Vengeance Vengeance says:



    what ?? that guy was not the the President of the mens hair club.

  27. Kaldath Kaldath says:

    We are Borg, Resistance is Futile!

  28. Avatar DJ says:


    2.This isnt Mrs.Clause’s hat…that was some wild birthday party!

    3.Happy birthday to meeee…happy birthday to mee”

    Edited because of my stupid sick self.

  29. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    1) Yo, Dasher! What’d you put in the wassail, dude?
    2) I did WHAT to the reindeer?

  30. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    2) What have you been doing in there?

  31. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    3) I’m a dalek for Halloween.

  32. Avatar Frankie says:

    “You are getting very sleepy. Repeat after me. Tim Allen is not funny.”

  33. Avatar Loki says:

    Where the heck is the bunny!?

    New ‘Tree ‘n Light Hat’! BUY TODAY!

  34. Avatar Loki says:


  35. “Last time I bet on Dallas!”

  36. Avatar Fishpants says:

    1. With the iHat, I can see who’s naughty and nice, get around the world in one night and play MP3s.

    2. …and the radiation won’t affect my balls! Hey, do you elves smell toast?

    3. Let’s see ya track me on radar this year, NORAD!

  37. Avatar The Imp says:

    1: Oh, my aching cone…

    2: It’s my Skittles stash! A man’s gotta snack, alright?

    3: Damn, thought I put some spare batteries in here…

  38. Will Will says:

    1. If MY hat is in my hand, then what the hell…
    2. Soilent Green is people!
    3. Well, I know a couple of drinking buddies who are going straight to the naughty list!

  39. Avatar Meg says:

    1. Perfect… Now they’ll never know about my bald spot!
    2. I should never have told Mrs. Claus I didn’t want a Christmas tree sweater.
    3. Hello, class. I’m Mr. Claus, your senior math teacher. Today, we’ll be studying conics/cones.

  40. Avatar Alexander says:

    1~ I can’t believe it–HOFFA, after all these years…!
    2~ Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat…
    3~ Insert Bartholomew Cubbins reference here –> ___

  41. Avatar The Icedaemon says:

    Bitten by a radioactive fir, I have become Tree-Santa! Witness my power!

  42. Avatar Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1. Why is there reindeer Sh** in my hat?! I dont have a back-up and im a tree-mutant! IM HIDEOUS!!

    2. great. MY ONLY HAT and it gets LICE! WHO’S THE JACK*** ELF WHO WORE MY HAT!? Now I have to wear a STUPID ELF HAT!!

    3. EEEEEW! i barfed in my hat! WHAT WAS IN THAT EGGNOG!!?

  43. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    How I wish I had a barf bag

  44. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    It puts the lotion on it’s skin

  45. Avatar Brad Carter says:

    1.Now where did i put those glasses?

    2.So thats where Rudolph’s nose went to.

    3.Jesus, Tiny Tim what have i told you about hiding in my hat?

  46. Avatar Al says:

    1. Wrong hat, you damn rabbit!

    2. I’m a chargin’ mah lazar!

    3. What?!? “Made in China?” Mrs. Claus said she hand-sewed it, the liar!

  47. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Bah! Humbug!

  48. Avatar DerKork says:

    “Now THAT explains my headache!”