Boomerangs always come back

Like TV networks or Hollywood studios aping each other's worst show concepts, DC and Marvel have an unfortunate tendency to swap really bad characters. At some point Marvel was apparently desperate to compete for the massive Australian-weapon-aficionado audience DC had hitherto cornered with Captain Boomerang, because they invented their own ridiculously-attired villain named, cleverly enough, "Boomerang":

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Yes, like bad fashion, super-powered concepts also have an irritating tendency to come back again, and it's certainly appropriate in this case given the characters' names. I didn't think it was possible to design a more ridiculous costume than Captain Boomerang's, but Marvel has certainly achieved the unlikely here. How the hell do you run around with two back-to-back slabs of wood (or metal or handwavium or whatever) strapped to your chest? And though it's not clear in this frontal image, he's got two more stapled to his back! To illustrate how ridiculous this looks, take a gander at this action triptych from "The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe":

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If I saw this idiot running down the street towards me, boomerang handles jutting out at odd angles all over the place, I'd laugh myself silly. How does he even sit down without one of his belterangs jamming a hole in his diaphragm?

And if you think I'm out of line in coining the term "belterang", here are just a few of the weapons listed for the big guy in the Handbook:

  • shatterangs
  • gasarangs
  • razorang
  • screamerang
  • bladerangs

Given all that, I think I'm safe in classifying this costume design a "Wankerang."

(Images and character ©2006, Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.)

9 Responses to Boomerangs always come back

  1. …not just his diaphragm, what about the other end of the beltarang? Aren’t his nadarangs in danger of being clipped off?

    Truly, a bad costume design for the ages.

    (Not as bad as Razorback though. Why did Byrne wind up doing the character illustrations for the really bad costumes? Did Marvel figure, “Hell, if Byrne draws it, then it MUST be a good design!”)

  2. If he didn’t have the boomerangs stuck to his costume, or that boomerang designed head piece, his costume would’t be that bad.

    And now for my deep dark secret. When i was a wee little lad, I had a villian named the Boomerang Bandit. I never heard of these two characters. I didn’t have a costume design for him, I just asked my brother to draw a guy with a boomerang in each hand and two boomerangs sticking up behind his shoulders. They weren’t attached to his costume ofcourse. They were secured in holsters….that being sad, let the mocking begin.

  3. Frankie, you should keep exploring the Boomerang Bandit idea. You may be the one to create a boomerang guy that doesn’t suck.

  4. Captain Boomerang the Stewardess is still much, much worse.

  5. @Whit: He prefers “(Return) Flight Attendant”, thankyouverymuch.

    @Frankie: No mockery, you came up with a better concept as a wee lad than either Marvel or DC. I bet your costume design was better, too, judging by the fact that your character had holsters instead of relying on velcro to keep his most important assets attached. Well, SECOND most important assets, anyway.

  6. What, no Batarangs? I guess those were taken.

  7. Get rid of the ones around the waist and back, and make the remaining ones flexible decorations instead of actual boomerangs, and I don’t think it’s so bad then.

  8. What about an invisible one, the invisarang?

    SWOOSH!

    “Um, did you just swipe at the air at me?”

    KONK!………KONK!

    The second konk is the sound of the invisarang hitting Bommerang on the head since he can’t see it to catch it.

  9. You should look for the old Hulk stories where he first appeared. His original costume makes this look like Armani.