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Herr DParticipantFew would attempt a robbery in full public view. Fewer still would wear red during such a bold move. Only ONE villain would ever make the loot into a band and have it play “The Valleydale Parade” jingle at full blast halfway down the outside of the building and halfway down the street leading it as their majorette . . .
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-BlackMagic_zpsafroeqeo.png
Sometimes it’s rough having an imagination.
*pop
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http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-RelativelyFlaky_zpsmlma9ld5.png
*pop
Herr DParticipantThank you! [bows, looks up to see no one watching–] Er. Okay. Well, why not something REALLY easy to find, but maybe hard to combine?
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Herr DParticipantShe isn’t just some hot pollinating partner for all varieties of broadcast flora to dream about. She’s a fully accredited Ethologist and Anchor!
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-EthologistAndAnchor_zpsxrh25icp.png
For those of you unfamiliar with flora-fauna mixture species, Ethology is the study of social and feeding movements of fauna. Because plants don’t mind weather, right?
*OPMC
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Joe stopped eating bread after last year’s grain harvest. He quit his hired hand position and drank himself into oblivion. He never said why . . .
*DAT
Herr DParticipantShe isn’t just some hot pollinating partner for all varieties of broadcast flora to dream about. She’s a fully accredited Ethologist and Anchor!
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-EthologistAndAnchor_zpsxrh25icp.png
For those of you unfamiliar with flora-fauna mixture species, Ethology is the study of social and feeding movements of fauna. Because plants don’t mind weather, right?
*fern as face, boot top as dress, background as, well, background.
Herr DParticipantI’m late! I’m late! [elbows large white rabbit out of the way] Keric! Pick 3!
Herr DParticipantMeet Tomāwell, donāt wake himāheās had a hard day flying babies to Childrenās Hospital, flood victims off rooftops, and pileup victims over traffic-congested roads. Sometimes thereās just not enough caffeine in the whole world, right?
*air
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“What took you so long?”
“That last kid was HEAVY, Chief!”
*fire
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I was gonna enter this in “Earth” but realized that my ‘face away’ ‘ordinary workaday’ heroes belong in something else much more. At some point I’ll finish ‘water’ and make it happen.
. . . and now, for a bit of history.
THE ACCIDENTAL HERBALIST by Herr D
Various unverified sources describe an unnamed conquistador that apparently didnāt slaughter Native Americans or necessarily do them any major harm at all. He also may have enabled several million modern lives to be saved and helped invent a dessert.
Ponce De Leon was looking for the Fountain Of Youth for his monarch. Out in the Everglades, the local Native Americans told his men, very helpfully, not to eat a certain plant. āDonāt eat thatāyouāll die,ā they told them. One of the men got lost. Well, he was a sailor and a soldier, not a forester or a hunter. He couldnāt find enough animals to eat that he could actually GET. He saw a lot of the poisonous plant and tried other ones. All of them seemed to make him horribly sick. He thought about his options.
He was alone and would probably die alone in the longest, most awful ways imaginable. Starvation takes about a month of racking abdominal pain, headaches, and other horrible symptoms. Orāhe made himself a big hot meal of the poisonous root and ate it.
Iām sure anyone can imagine what he thought next. āI didnāt die? I DIDNāT DIE!āNo one had ever thought of cooking a poisonous plant before. No one had ever considered that cooking a poison might make it safe to eat.
So he did it again . . .
He staggered out of the jungle a couple of months later to find people again and tell his story. He was very sick but very alive. That was the invention of tapioca. Why was he so sick so much? Many of the thirty varieties of ipecac also grow in the Everglades. Understanding the way ipecac causes one to vomit up a poison before it kills has been very important to the treatment of poison victims.
So yes, one conquistador saved millions of lives and invented a dessert eaten by millions by going off to bungle through the jungle while barfing his guts out. A questionable honor, but an honor nonetheless.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-PonceDeLeonsLostMan_zpsd9tdi3om.png
Herr DParticipantSame 3 items, plus an additional challenge for those intrepid enough: Halloween theme showing at least one trick-or-treater in costume. Due Halloween midnight EST. To be judged 11/1/ 15 3pm EST.
Herr DParticipantSame three items to judge 10/13/15 8pm EST, closing at noon.
Herr DParticipantHere we have a rare glimpse of the Horn-Crested Rattler. Naturally they tend to stay just inside the volcanic vents they call home as they have no protective coloration or outright defense against predators. This particular specimen is recuperating from a mad crawl out of the minor landslide that destroyed its vent just moments ago. Their tendency to clean the sulfurous air and hydrogenate it draws in the Clawed Strawbeaks, who happen to be stone deaf. The result is phonically interesting. The percussive stalking of the Clawed Strawbeaks gets ever louder as they echo into the Horn-Crested Rattlers’ vents. The modulation of the sounds coming through the horns varies with the anticipation of a fresh meal. The modulations and syncopy of the horn sounds loudest as the claws crescendo in the final struggle. Then the rattling sounds out the tattoo of satisfaction as digestion begins.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-HornCrestedRattler_zps4qyblmid.png
*music
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Horribly rushed version of the yellow submarine.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-YellowSubmarine_zps0njw19yc.png
*pop:ys
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This guy won the sponsorship for Jack’s Shellac his beard makes perfect tone. But he plays badly . . .
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-ButHePlaysBadly_zpsnctyk7oj.png
*pop:beards
Herr DParticipantWow. Um–in keeping with the idea that maybe people are just too busy, new deadline is 9/28/15 8am EST. Judging by 8 pm. I am considering volunteers at this time to take over as judge with 3 new items.
Herr DParticipantSorry I’m late again. An admirable man I know was badly injured recently. I’ve helped out a tiny bit, but you know it never seems like there is enough to give substantially? Be it time or money or whatever?
Anyway, to judge 9/13/15 with the three items two posts above, btw noon and 8 pm EST. I’ll take a volunteer if there are no entries as a replacement judge. Don’t want this contest to die.
Herr DParticipantOnce again, the 3 above. To judge 9/2 btw noon and 8 pm EST.
Herr DParticipantSo, I got back about the 21rst, and am now struggling with various job-switch issues. This piece just struck me as a great interview/audition. ‘Bob’ can control hive minds, design low-radiation flat screen x-ray devices, and doesn’t require a clothing allowance. He DOES get migraines in his chest area and headaches require a checkup by a cardiologist . . .
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-MutantJobInterview_zpsjakonnow.png
. . . not to mention, his feedings are fresh blood, type B negative . . .
*”Mutant Job Interview” for ‘mental’ blog contest
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Background for Skeleton Orchid, pop quiz entry:
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-ScrCpSkOr_zpsy8ffhutq.png
“Skeleton Orchid VS The Feline Invaders”
(neat strategy)
*pop(rnd)
Herr DParticipantOkay, I guess the items didn’t inspire anyone. Try these. Judging 8/25 noon to 8pm EST.
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Herr DParticipantOkay–I’m gonna judge this one on the 10th of Aug. . . . closes at noon, to judge by 8pm.
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