The Stranger in a lost land

Home Forums The Writers’ Room Fantastic Fiction The Stranger in a lost land

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #259

    Writer
    Member

    Our story begins in a land far, far away, the land of Kerimdor. In the north lies the Bay of Hemrith which waters are controlled by Pirates. In the South lies the cold mountains while underneath are the Skull caves, no one has lived to tell what lives in those caves. In the East are the Great lands where peasants have made their home living in peace and harmony with one and other. It is the East that defines these lands, in the far East there lies the City of Ammeroth. In that city lives the Tyrant, Emperor Quintus the Third. He rules the land of Kerimdor with an iron fist, removing anyone who is not loyal to him. What makes this man so infamous is not his soulless eyes, what eyes? This man hides behind a mask. It is said that not even his servants have seen his face, stories have been told that he once had a beautiful face but was ripped off by his father’s own jealousy. Others say that he has no face, but instead he is just a puppet used by the Imperial army to have total control. I’ve heard one story which still to this day makes me ponder, that he does not show his face so that he can leave the City when ever he wants and socializes with the Peasants of the land. But ha! those are just stories.

    To my village, he is just a coward, a man that can not face up to his fears. This story is one that has been told in every generation, a Heroic story. Please, don’t think in any way is this story about me, oh no, I wish. This is story is about a man I once met and had the pleasure to support him on his heroic adventure. Now your wondering what is this man’s name, I might of heard this story before. Tell you the truth, I would of told you his name already… If I knew it. This man had no name, I simply called him a stranger. He had no motive, no plan, no goals, he just saw something that was wrong and tried to make it right….

    #5335

    Herr D
    Participant

    good opening

    #5422

    Writer
    Member

    Chapter 1: The Cheating Merchant

    The story starts in the Great Lands in the thick forest of Greshnir. In the middle of the forest, on a path leading to the nearest village lies a man. He had just woken up, dazed and confused, asking himself ‘Where am I?’, ‘What is this place?’, ‘What is this place?’‘Who am I?’. He jumped around, extremely scared, he had no clue of how he had gotten here. Their was fear in his eyes, but not the fear of unknown force going to attack him, he was large and was very capable of defending himself. This fear was the fear inside, he didn’t know where he was, how he got here, and not even who is. This man knew nothing of himself, he didn’t know his name, nor his date of birth. He began to sweat, constantly looking around him, he then began to shout “Hello? Hello? Anyone there? Please I need help!”.

    At first it was quite, but suddenly he heard a noise and it was coming this way. He knew the noise was coming from the small hill above him, so he charged up the hill to find the origin of the noise. As he got to the top of hill he felt this gust of wind hit his body. But this was no wind, it was me. He looked down and saw me, I was running and was just halted by this man’s shear size. He picked me up from my arm and as I got to my feet, I said to him “Help Me!”

    Suddenly stood in front of us was two Imperial soldiers. They were breathing heavily, as they had been chasing me since the markets. They saw this strange man holding me by the arm, as if he was helping them catch the culprit. “Thank you peasant, now please hand over the merchant.”

    The strange man then spoke “What has he done to you to deserve to be chased?”

    “He sold us both faulty love charms, when we came back to get our gold coins, he simply insulted us and ran off. As it states in the law, insulting a soldier is insulting the Emperor.” They replied.

    “What is his punishment?” Asked the strange man.

    “The penalty is death. Now hand him over.” They replied swiftly and then smiled at me.

    The giant of a man then said “your going to kill a man because he insulted you? I am sorry but I can not allow this to happen.”

    The soldiers were finally sick of the conversation and shouted “How dare you question the laws of Emperor! You to shall also suffer the penalty of death!”

    The large man pulled me behind him, the soldiers drew their swords. The stranger clenched his fist, and suddenly they charged at him. The first soldier swung his sword way up into the air and forced it down, but as it came down it stopped. The behemoth had grabbed his forearm, he pulled the sword out of his hand and threw it into the bushes beside us. He then picked him above his head and threw him into a tree. The second soldier attacked him from behind, he was going to die for sure so I alerted him “Watch out, he’s behind you!”

    The soldier looks behind at me and stares at me and looks back only to see a large fist collide with his face. As if it was slow motion, I watched this soldier fly across from me and saw his nose broken, and some of his teeth missing. The two injured soldiers struggled to get up but as they did, they knew they couldn’t win this fight. The soldier with the broken noise helped his injured comrade and dragged him with him and shouted back at the large man “you haven’t heard the last of us, the Imperial army will come find you, and they will kill you!”

    I stood there bedazzled, I have never seen Imperial soldiers been beaten up as if they just kids. I ran up to the large man and hugged him, I looked up and well he wasn’t very happy. I let go and shouted in laughter “you did it! You did it! Whoa! You picked that soldier up and threw! I mean thank the gods that you have rescued me! I am in your debt, please do not be afraid to ask me anything!”

    He then looked at me and spoke “Where am I?”…

    #16075

    TheVoid
    Participant

    I’m the writer, it was just that I lost my password and the email address to get my new one has issues blah blah blah I’ve decided to edit this first chapter, now that i read this I think I want to restart this story. so hears the new edited Chapter 1: The Cheating Merchant

    The story begins in the Great Lands in the thick forest of Greshnir. In the middle of this emerald kingdom lied a dirt road leading to the nearest village. It was who, who was on this path that I had the pleasure of meeting. The stranger whom was lying on the dirt road arose from his unexpected slumber. Dazed and confused he slowly got to his feet. Bewildered and unbeknownst of his current surroundings, he scanned the area trying to make a sense of his location. Petrified he then began to shout deafeningly for help to try and catch the attention of a passing merchant or hunter. But his cry for assistance was only heard by the fleeing birds and forest animals bypassing him. Overwhelmed with his current situation the muscular man took a seat on the dirt path and took in air to try and recoup his strength.

    At first the forest that seemed endless was silent and only the slightest of vibrations could be heard. Suddenly the enigmatic figure heard a voice that appeared to be getting louder, screaming for help. He then located the sudden echo approaching from the small hill north of him. Curious of the unexpected voice, he charged up the slightly smooth peak to discover the origin of the sound. As he got to the top of the hill he suddenly felt this gust of wind collide with his large, muscular chest. But this was no strong breeze, it was me. He looked down below himself and stared at me. I was running for my dear life and this cryptic individual without difficulty halted my exodus. He lowered himself down and assisted me to my feet, I tried to make my break but I was too late.

    All of a sudden two, gasping town guards were situated in front of us. They had been chasing me since the markets that were a few minutes away. Due to the position I was in, being held by this stranger, the two sentries believed that he apprehended me. Grateful for his good deed the eldest of the two town guards showed his appreciation.

    “Thank you citizen for your charitable act, your services are now no longer needed, we will now handle the situation, good day.”

    I leaned over to the stranger, whom now let me go and whispered to him “Help me”.

    The mysterious man responded to my cry for help and asked the guards.

    “What crimes has this man committed that he needed to be chased?”

    The abrupt question was an unanticipated but the experienced guard responded.

    “This cheating merchant sold me and my fellow guardsman fake diamonds, when he returned to his store for our coins, he refused to give us a refund, and insulted our intelligence. As it is against the law to smear an Imperial soldier, he must be detained and charged.”

    The inquisitive man then responded again with another question, this time now angering the two guards.

    “What will be his punishment?”

    Maddened the guard answered again.

    “The penalty is death. Now hand him over!”

    The stranger then glanced at me and then said to the now irritated guards.

    “That I cannot allow.”

    Both of the Imperial soldiers were shocked to hear his treason and shouted.

    “How dare you try and avert this man’s arrest, your duplicity offends the Emperor! You shall also suffer the penalty of death!”

    The muscular man pulled me behind him to prepare to fight, and the soldiers drew their razor-sharp blades. The stranger clenched his large fist, and then without warning they charged at him swinging their swords. The younger of the two swung his blade upward into the air and compelled it down, but its forceful plunge was halted. The strange man had taken hold of his forearm; he removed the sword abruptly out of his hand and dropped it on the ground. He then thumped the man with a massive right hook, swiftly colliding with his cheekbone and instantly breaking it. The sudden force knocked the guard unconscious.

    Whilst this struggle happened the other guard utilizing his experience encircled the stranger trying to find his moment to strike. Unbeknownst of the position of the second guard I alerted to the foreigner.

    “Watch out, he’s behind you!”

    The senior guard peered at me but only to look back and to see a large knuckles collide with his timeworn face. I witnessed as the powerful hit propelled him across from me. The two bruised and battered soldiers helped each other up and ran off, with their last words being.

    “You will regret what you have just done, we will be back!”

    I stood there bedazzled, in my entire pointless life I have never seen Imperial soldiers been thrown around like that. I began to cheer and shout.

    “you did it! Whoa! I mean thank the gods you have rescued me! I am in forever in your debt! Please do not be afraid to ask me anything!”

    He then looked at me, and said something that startled me.

    “Where am I?”…

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.