Rick said he went to cut down that old tree with a chainsaw he got secondhand on Mojner Avenue downtown. (I know, there isnâ€™t a Mojner Avenueâ€“he must have been drunk.) Anyway, he got half through the trunk, and two eyes began to glow. The limbs rearranged themselves, and the two biggest reached down and pushed till the whole thing broke free. It did a handstand, rolled to itâ€™s, well, feet, and started down Main Street. It stopped at the salvage yard and tore off part of an old truck at a womanâ€™s urging to cover itself. Officer Coy led it to the National Forest. It said itâ€™s name is Oaker.
Rick is making such a big deal. He won’t tell anyone what he did with the chainsaw or ANYTHING.