OCD (Open Critique Day) #34

Ok, wow. Sorry for the long absence, everyone! I'm still a little worse for wear, but I think I feel good enough to run this again.

And apparently, when your air conditioner breaks in the middle of autumn in Texas, it gets really hot.

How this goes:  You post a work of yours, finished or WIP, and then others give you critiques on your work. I do not mind if you post non-HM pictures or piece of writing. Just make sure that you only post pictures that are your own design and not any that are copyrighted or based off of copyrighted characters. 

Also, if you post a work, it is highly recommended that you also give someone else a critique.

Even this is called Open Critique Day, I allow (even welcome!) for you guys to post and discuss on this for the weekend until 11:59 pm Sunday.

5 Responses to OCD (Open Critique Day) #34

  1. Nick Hentschel says:

    What follows is very much a work in progress.

    Lately, you’ve seen me post a number of pictures of “Rosanna Lee,” a half-Chinese girl. Well, to cut a long story short, she has a brother:

    https://flic.kr/p/AMP51p
    https://flic.kr/p/ALBMhj

    He’s NOT into kung fu, unlike his sister. He’s into the business world . . . or at least, he is now. The premise of the character, is that he’s a very *good-looking* guy, and that when he was younger (his teens and early 20’s), he was actually a model. But he grew more interested in the business behind his work, than in modeling itself, and so years alter, he’s gone into the corporate world with some success.

    I have a tall order here, trying to . . .

    1) Convey his heritage.
    2) Show him dressed for the weather in Toronto, where he and Rosanna live.
    3) Depict him as a very sharp-dressed sort of businessman, perhaps with a slight hipster quality.

    I’m also trying to depict him against a background resembling his home city. As you can see, I have a long way to go.

  2. dreadyacht says:

    Nick Hentschel:
    What follows is very much a work in progress.

    Lately, you’ve seen me post a number of pictures of “Rosanna Lee,” a half-Chinese girl.Well, to cut a long story short, she has a brother:

    https://flic.kr/p/AMP51p
    https://flic.kr/p/ALBMhj

    He’s NOT into kung fu, unlike his sister.He’s into the business world . . . or at least, he is now.The premise of the character, is that he’s a very *good-looking* guy, and that when he was younger (his teens and early 20’s), he was actually a model.But he grew more interested in the business behind his work, than in modeling itself, and so years alter, he’s gone into the corporate world with some success.

    I have a tall order here, trying to . . .

    1) Convey his heritage.
    2) Show him dressed for the weather in Toronto, where he and Rosanna live.
    3) Depict him as a very sharp-dressed sort of businessman, perhaps with a slight hipster quality.

    I’m also trying to depict him against a background resembling his home city.As you can see, I have a long way to go.

    Question: where are his hands?

  3. Nick Hentschel says:

    dreadyacht: Question: where are his hands?

    [sigh] I told you, it’s a heavily unfinished picture; I haven’t decided what I want him to be doing with his hands.

    I was hoping for a more *helpful* criticism, if you please, preferably related to my questions.

  4. Nick Hentschel says:

    dreadyacht:
    Because last time I posted HighDemon stuff no-one commented . . .

    Sorry about that; this is my first visit in a while.
    I see the effect you’re going for, and the business-based concept is rather inventive. But there’s a lot more to do, in the main picture, esp. with color.
    The black-and-dark grey color scheme in the face makes it a little hard to make out his features or expression; I’d suggest re-incorporating some of the flame effects and eye colors that you used for the “automatons” and the corporate logo. Figuring out how to add some glow and shading from the “flames” will be a useful addition, down the line.

    A greater diversity of color would also help for the gun picture; when all the pieces are gold, we can’t tell them apart. Turning the grenades green, for example, would help them stand out. Also, for the stock-grips and barrel to be different colors, is fairly normal with guns.