My full-time (non-HeroMachine) job might keep me from actually getting to these before this evening, but it's time for another Open Critique Day!
If you have a HeroMachine illustration or another piece of artwork you've done that you'd like some help with, post a link to it in comments along with your thoughts on it -- what you think is working, what you're struggling with, etc. I will post my critique of the piece, hopefully giving some tips on how to improve it.
Of course everyone is welcome to post their critiques as well, keeping in mind the following guidelines:
- Make sure your criticism is constructive. Just saying "This sucks" is both rude and unhelpful without giving specific reasons why you think it sucks and, ideally, some advice on how to make it better.
- Each person should only post one illustration for critique to make sure everyone who wants feedback has a chance.
- I will not critique characters entered in any currently running contest, as that doesn't seem fair to the other entrants. You can still post it if you like for the other visitors to critique, but I will not do so.
That's it! Hopefully we can get some good interaction going here and help everyone (me included!) learn a little bit today.
Continuing my tradition of using the Critique Day for Item Show and Tell.
Starting to prepare art assets for submission. First up was this tech armor. It comes in 4 separate pieces (shoulder, shoulder mount, torso, and shorts).
Note: I’m starting to go back and rework the art assets I created for HM3 and get them ready for submission to Jeff. In most cases I have to add the Color 2 shapes so it takes a little time to prepare (throw in a 6 week old baby and it makes it very hard to find the time). Hopefully I will get all the items finished over the next couple of months and then maybe I can get back to new item creation. If the Giant Tyrant Baby allows of course.
Sorry for the lack of new pictures lately. I’ve been busy with work, classes, and the like. Anyway, here’s Brigrada, Queen of the nation of Gondrogar. I don’t have much of a backstory for her, and even if I did, I’m in a hurry, but basically, she’s unmatched in strength and combat skill in all the known world. It was for this picture that I requested help with drawing women who are muscular and yet still identifiably female, and so I wanted to make sure the picture as it is (proportions, contours, etc.) was okay before I shaded it.
Just an old man from Hell
one of my players in my new SPACE! campaign wants to be a double agent. so there’s a new secret threat to the galaxy: Star-spawn! A race of evil mind-controlling monsters. A pinch of Cthulhu, a dash of illithid, just a hint of doppelganger (they eat peoples brains and then assume their identity thru telepathic illusion). Maybe some beholder in there, what with the floating (thats telekinesis Kyle).
So…does that mean I finally get my Seal Tail then? *looks excited*
Also, nice armor. Any chance of a female version?
I second that!
I like the design, but it seems a bit flat. Like there isn’t any dimension. I haven’t been able to get into some of the more complicated techniques, but maybe a bit of direction would really help. Much appreciated in advance!
Actually I submitted that a while ago. I should probably resend just in case.
As always, I am the holdup here. Sorry, sorry! I have nothing on my schedule this weekend as I am stuck in Austin all alone, so I will try to be productive and get it done.
come to lucy in disguise. wicked badass costume shop i work at. South Congress. i go in at noon
Geez, I work practically across the street on Academy Drive, right behind the South Congress gym! I’ve been to Lucy in Disguise before, it’s an awesome shop.
Good Evening Everyone!
I continuing my commision and tribute exhibition.
So this picture made for the commision of Kaylin. She ask me to make an elf (Eledhel) for her world Kairula. (Check the forum :D)
So this is my version (I colored wrong color for the hair.)
Any critique are welcommed.
You can make it look less flat by just changing the coloring. Right now you’ve got her body and clothing pieces all as one flat color. Changing the second color to something a shade darker or lighter will make it look more 3D.
I made Edward Elric from the anime show fullmetal alchemist im not so sure on the face and/or the shoes. http://art.ngfiles.com/images/188/dominic22_edward-the-fullmetal-alchemist.png no shirt —> http://art.ngfiles.com/images/188/dominic22_edward-fullmetal-no-shirt.png any help and/or critique would be appreciated.
Those six characters are PCs for my Kamen Rider game (to be run at a con in six months): Kamen Rider Hex.
The story is at the 3000 year mark of the last demon sealed in the ring of Solomon the demons have escaped. The ring was a trans-dimensional prison from an oppressive and rigid society. The trans-dimensional cops, labeled Angels by king Solomon, captured the prisoners and now are returning to earth to both catch the escaped demons and to teach us mortals the proper ways to live.
Each PC is based on a demon prince and has an associate’s sin (from the seven deadly sins) to it:
The basic sculpt of them all is the same (its on another computer and I can’t get it) and should look like armor over spandex with big-like eyes. The overall weaponry, powers and characters has not been decided yet but the focus of the game would be on the men and woman behind the costume (Focus on Bruce Banner instead of Batman).
Any criticism or ideas of how to improve the design (not as an art piece but as a costume design) are welcome and appreciated
What do you guys think about this one?
This is the Lantern, one of my many Halloween creations.
Here’s One I’d Like some feed back on.
Draven Dakar I ( a Half Elven Blade-Bard ) and his Wife Taleen Darkhope-Dakar ( A half Elven Jester )
Now with Taleen I was never happy with the standard Jester Hat in Heromachine nor was I happy with any of the Jester hats I attempted to make on my own, so I took the idea for just coloring her hair like that from the new DC 52 version of Harley Quinn. Now that I have looked at her a couple weeks I think I should have made her leather Armor short sleeved instead of long sleeved. Also a friend of mine suggested that Draven looks a little to pudgy so I’d like some feed back on that also.
Here is a werewolf transformation sequence image I made in honor of the impending all hallows eve. If there is anything I could do to improve, I would like to know.
Criana Vahsi, mutated to be incredibly strong, totally not likely to throw temper tantrums.
I might investigate the possibility. I won’t make any promises but I would like to see how well I could adapt this to the female template.
Overall creepy. The front tentacles are not attached to anything. I see the torso behind them. Might want to bring the body to the fore or select an item like an inverted alien head as a torso.
This is my Gargoyle.
This is an album of all my characters I’ve done so far.
Rick S. and Haxxx5 Jeff only critiques One entry per person, and though others may chime in and offer an opinion on everything you have posted you will need to tell Jeff which ONE picture you want his feedback on.
I enjoy all your drawings thus far. Brigrada definitely comes are as a strong, agile fighter. For her to still have her two front teeth is testimony.
However, she does not come across as royalty. Is this is her battle dress not courtly garb? Maybe she has natural color or markings that distinguish her. Since it’s a black-and-white drawing, we can’t tell. Not that I expect her to wear a crown or pendant. As long as her people recognize her as the queen, that’s all that matters.
@DominicDEH I don’t think you captured Edward Elric, So i added a link for reference, hope it helps!
Hi Jeff, can you tell me what you think of my Gargoyle. Thanks
Awesome. The only thing I’d change is the skulls for knee-pads. They really don’t work for me.
I’m gonna agree with The Atomic Punk here. I don’t see her as a princess…. she needs something to identify her as such. Maybe not a crown per-se, but a royal pendant? a royal ring? royal belt-buckle? royal tatoo? royal breastplate? something….
Would the clown juggling be an improvement? What about the peeker being on the right? Anything else?
@Rick–good so far, spikes on tail, too?
@Jadebrain–nontraditional ‘court’ with warrior princesses could conceivably be more like a fem Ghengis Khan than the finery most people associate with royalty. So THAT sort of sign might be scratches or raised burrs on her axe head. Maybe a gold wire woven in her hair–obviously wouldn’t show in a pencil drawing. Good musculature. I might be more impressed at a bored smile and a larger axe head?
@Kicktar–very ordinary looking, that was the point, right?
@NHA–maybe the chain could be moved to better differentiate the limbs without changing your colors?
@barbario–yes, creepy. Would an action shot include a single tentacle reaching toward someone or something it’s taking over?
At Vampyrist–I wanted to see tufts of hair on the skin tapering in frequency. That might help the change show as a process. Realistic face for the situ, I think.
@MrDinoman–Good comic book cover. Like your color choices.
@Kaldath–I don’t think he looks pudgy for that cross-class you’ve chosen. I do think him singing to her dancing would be a much more entertaining pic.
@Seraph–What about a shadow of the claw falling across the legs? Very dull same gray for colors 1-3, stretched out a bit, mostly transparent. Make it visible but subtle to account for lack of other shadows. Also–light some windows in the background? Use Insignia/Tech basic shapes for ease.
@Harlequin–pretty! I don’t really know manga style, so I don’t know if knuckle bends belong there to look more realistic?
@dblade–nice armor. I’ll start planning the best way to dent it now. ;^> by the way, good luck on turning your tyrant into a good citizen. I have begun to realize how difficult that is.
@alpha^2romeo–named Muss for chaos power or Wither for ability to steal time from surroundings? Interesting combo look.
Another tech armor torso submitted…
@Kaldath @Jefff all the entries are part of a series and utilize the same base body, they are essentially the same. The one I’m not happy about is Mammon, the last one, because his head looks so different then the other.
Experimenting with anatomy here, tried to copy a Frank Miller piece.
@Herr D, if it’s supposed to be a poster he’s peeking out from, you could put a decorative border around it so the background isn’t so plain.
@Haxxx5, maybe put a larger crown on Mammon, so his head doesn’t look so bare?
@Herr D: Yeah, regular sassy girl, made more sassy by having super powers.
I like the design overall, particularly the upper body. And I’ve always been a sucker for the white hair / tanned skin combo (a lot of my Warcraft characters have that look).
The bottom half is a bit plain compared to the top, though depending on the character concept I’m not sure what you’d do there. I mean, maybe boots and/or a belt or holster or something just wouldn’t be appropriate. I don’t hate it or anything, it just seems a little unfinished in comparison.
The main issue for me on the illustration is the coloring, which mainly comes down to I think the cape should be a darker blue than the items on the body. With them the same shade, they kind of blend in together and it makes it hard to differentiate what’s what, notably where the hands are on top of the backing. I’d also shorten the cape up a bit so its bottom is not below the feet, since as it is he looks like he’d have to be flying, but the foot position doesn’t support that.
It looks great, as always! If only that lazy bastard Jeff would actually put them up, we’d be in business.
I think this is your strongest one so far that I’ve seen. Great perspective on the character, and a great sense of movement in the pose and clothing. The figure’s left arm is well rendered, with good anatomical details, too.
Some areas that I think you could work on down the road are pretty minor. But the musculature in the figure’s right arm is not as strong or well defined as the other — that fur line running down the middle seems a bit random, for instance, rather than serving to delineate the anatomy under it. The hand on that arm is also a little small in proportion.
Great job, though, I like it a lot!
Very cool! Love the funky eyebrows and the coloring is dynamite. I can’t think of anything I’d change, it’s a thumbs-up from me.
Scary! I hope the players wear their Depends.
I like the design and the coloring is solid, too. In terms of just looking at it as a standalone illustration and not considering the limitations of the HeroMachine program itself (which are many, I admit), I want some shading in the tentacles closer to the body and behind the two big ones coming out just below the head. With the patterning laid on top and the solid coloring it all looks flat, when it ought to be a writhing mass of coiled tentacles and hidden depths.
But it might not be possible given that it’s drawn the way it is in the program, so you can probably chuck that out and just be happy you made an awesome looking evil monster. Which it is.
I’d say this is a good, solid design that needs more development to really take off. The armor, for instance, is nice but this is a Norse god, living in the colder climates. It seems like he’d have some fur or a cloak or something. Maybe gloves, or an armband?
I like the idea behind the lightning aura on the hammer, but I’d play around with the opacity because right now it looks almost like streamers or solid noodles instead of energy.
Finally, the anatomy on the shoulder/underarm area of the hammer-wielding arm is not good. You definitely need to either cover that up or redo it, especially because there’s so little else on the figure that it really jumps out at you.
But like I said, it’s a good solid start.
Agreed, it’s a good design but flat. The main things I would do are:
That’s a start, anyway. Hope it helps!
Lovely! As always, beautiful colors and a great emotional mood. Well done!
I’d tweak the bottom of her elbow a bit — the line doesn’t extend there and ends up looking almost like it’s been cut off. I’m not sure how to fix that, maybe put something behind it so you get the illusion that the line continued?
The only other thing is I think the blue sky needs something in it to help break up the big space. Maybe remove it entirely and put in a circle with the glow going from near her body out to a plain white outside?
I am not familiar with the franchise so I can’t speak to how near or far you are from getting the specific look you were going for. I definitely get a younger cyborg boy from it, hopefully that’s what you wanted.
I think it looks good! The only part I’d tweak a little is his human arm. I know you want thin as he’s young and whatnot, but I think it went a little TOO thin. It almost looks atrophied. Thicken that up a bit (just scaled horizontally wider a bit) and it’ll be good to go.
LOVE the glowing blade edge, that rocks! The eyes in the helmeted version are nifty, too.
I like the right-hand one better, largely because I think the legs work with the upper body more. The extra poofiness of the leggings as opposed to the skintight look on the left balances out the bulky top.
But they’re both really nice, good job.
Haxxx, you requested this one so here we go.
His head looks fine to me. The collar balances it out with the rest of the figure so it doesn’t come across as out of proportion at all in my opinion. I do think the black lines on the eyebrow portions overwhelm the small color areas — maybe make those lines either a gray or a dark orange so the details come out more?
I love the belt buckle, by the way. Funky!
In fact I really like the whole thing. Lots of fun details, a strong concept, and consistent colors. You’ve done a great job.
The only bit that I see that you might tweak is the belt, which is lying on top of the jacket when it should be layered beneath it.
Cool! I love love love the way the dragon emblem is echoed in the costume, that’s an awesome effect. The AMS style coloring in the figure works well, too. I think it might be too much in the hair, just because it gets awfully dark at the top and the highlight makes it look almost like a helmet.
But I like the costume design a lot, the composition is well done, and the coloring excellent. Top notch job!
I love it! Awesomeness, man, seriously. The cape is genius, with the smoke effect instead of cloth … The coloring is outstanding, too. Just a wonderful concept brilliantly executed. This is my favorite thing I’ve seen in weeks, just fantastic.
I just shard that Lantern illustration on the HeroMachine Facebook page, too.
Overall: Love it. Neat design, good illustration. I have a little trouble on the left side separating out the dark background from her hair and cape.
Her: Love the hair. I agree maybe short sleeves on the undershirt area would help give some visual interest, and paired with the leggings it would make sense from her perspective as well.
Him: I like that he’s not rail-thin, and I wouldn’t call him pudgy at all. I would leave him be, he looks great.
I like it overall. The werewolf and human bits are strong, and I do get the sense that this is a mid-transformation shot. The tortured human hand is a nice touch as is his expression.
The main problem for me is the shirt. There’s never been a good “striped shirt” solution in the program, and this is a good illustration of why. The pattern is just too straight to be believable as being on cloth. I’d take the pattern out completely and see if there aren’t some more wrinkled or dynamic items you could use. There might not be, but the straightness of the lines conflicts with the movement and action of the concept and pose.
WOW! Thanks Jeff Im glad you liked it! Thank you for the great compliments and thanks for the post on Facebook! I really appreciate it!
Anything I could do to improve this?
Kicktar is back! But no longer a Captain? I hope there wasn’t a military disaster of some sort behind that …
This is a really nice younger-person build. I think people would benefit from the text save as well to use as a model for their own, you’ve got the proportions down really well.
I like the clothing too, it reads as young without being obnoxiously over the top about it. The facial expression is also good.
The shoes don’t quite do it for me. I can’t quite tell what they’re supposed to be. If they’re boots, they don’t seem like they’d be grey. And they don’t quite go with the rest of the outfit — it seems like they’d be sneakers or something.
In the same vein I was wondering if the undershirt couldn’t use a bit of something to juice it up. It seems like it would either be white (in keeping with the primary colors of the rest of the outfit) or that it would have a logo or something on it.
Nice! Very creepy. A figure who’s all the same basic colors with overlapping layers like this is really hard to pull off — most of the time it ends up looking flat or the various planes are hard to make out, but you really nailed it. Everything is clear and makes sense, plus it looks fantastic. The spot color red in the mouth really pops. The background sky is very good as well, adding to the mood of the picture without being distracting.
The only bit I’d work on a bit is the gargoyle/building, which by comparison to the rest of the piece comes off as one dimensional.
Great job, I like it a lot!
Ha! Very nice, I like it. I don’t think juggling would help, I prefer the umbrella and howdy hand.
I’d probably do something besides that yellow in the background though. Or maybe scale it up so there’s not so much empty sky behind him.
Ah, Frank, he does indeed play a lot of games with anatomy.
This one, for me, isn’t quite working. The lower legs are way too skinny and the angle of the feet is at odds with the angle of the rest of the body (a limitation of my items, not your skill, I hasten to assure you). Also the red bandana ends tying in to the red of the shoe bottoms almost makes him look hog tied. Which given Miller’s, ah, interesting plot lines sometimes, kind of makes sense …
I love it! One of the most awesome uses of the cloud I have seen. The way it curls off his lip is the kind of touch that takes something from cool to OMG.
I wouldn’t change a thing, fantastic job.
And we’re done! Thanks folks, and my apologies for not getting to this until today.
Thanks for the advice! As for the whole “royalty” aspect which is completely lacking in Brigrada’s picture, it’s because in Gondrogar, power is obtained through literally fighting your way up the social ladder. As in, Brigrada would have had to beat everyone else who wanted rulership either to death or into submission. Thus, those in Gondrogar care little for symbolic value, beauty, and the like; such things get in the way of brutal efficiency, after all.
As for the line going down her right arm, it was originally broken in the first and second steps of my drawing (I usually draw in three steps, done on separate sheets of paper: first, to draw the anatomical outline; second, to add clothing; and third, to add texture and shading). It was joined into one line on the third step as a result of the fur pattern extending the length of both lines.
The hand on that arm is small mostly due to the angle it’s viewed at as well as its position, but also because I’ve always drawn hands small. If I draw them too large, it just looks too unrealistic to me, whereas relatively small hands don’t quite have that problem in my eyes.
Thanks for the advice! Will definitely work on the design a bit more.
The non-captain thing is because I registered as Kicktar on the forum, not sure why. As for not being around, that’s because I’ve been forgetting to check this site the past Fridays since I’m so tired by then.
The shoes, yeah, no female sneakers makes it difficult. I tried the male shoes again, not great, but it is better. Shirt is definitely better white.
Made some changes to My Gargoyle….what do you think?
@Jeff The overall design is Kamen Rider where the belts hose the gimmicks for the kids to buy. The belt is the transformation device and the centerpiece of the costume along with the helmet.
Also, as I stated above the entry is a part of a series with a common design aesthetic and Mammon is the only one who brakes it with his long jacket and smaller, less intricate helmet design.
So as a part of a series does it fit?
Also to me a lighter then black line color distracts me and fuzzes my vision. I remember there was an overall figure outline somewhere, is it still in HM3?
I honestly didn’t look at the other ones. I only do one per person or I go insane, sorry 🙁
I like the long jacket and belt and all just fine. My comment about it was just that the lines of the belt and the lines of the jacket don’t make sense whether the jacket’s supposed to be over the belt or vice versa. If that’s what you were referring to. If not, never mind.
The “outline all” feature was removed quite a while back. If the black on the eyebrow bits don’t bother you, more power to you. By all means leave ’em black. It’s just my opinion 🙂
thanks @jeff i will make sure to do that