Caption Contest 122: BLAM BLAM BLAM!

Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit to entries, but please, self-edit and only put up ones you genuinely think are good!

70 Responses to Caption Contest 122: BLAM BLAM BLAM!

  1. Wil says:

    Go Jimmy! And tell my grilled cheese… I lo….AAAAAAAAAAAA

  2. Waally1 says:

    eat blam!

  3. William Peterson says:

    “Look! The guys at MythBusters finally found a way to improve Buster! More Explosions!!!”
    {Sorry, the Gun going Blam I can understand, but the *target* going Blam?}

  4. alphaalpharomeo says:

    “Take that Blue Beetle”

    “When your phone company doesn’t answer you, you shoot people”

    “Date my best friend Dave will you? I think Not”

    “Shoot now, ask questions later”

    “Switch to Geico will you?”

    “And magically my three shots produce 7 bullet wounds”

    “Hi I’m Dave, the new modern day Cupid”

  5. Volt says:

    “Hasta la vista, Baby”

  6. BenK22 says:

    1. “You won’t be back.”

    2. “This is my town, Jayne.”

    3. “If Jack would’ve jumped a little bit higher, he wouldn’t have been in my line of fire!”

  7. logosgal says:

    “I’ll show you ‘holier-than-thou!'”

  8. John says:

    “First” THIS!

  9. Solander says:

    Red vs. blue? I’ll show you what yellow can do!

  10. Dr. Shrinker says:


  11. Ghenmor says:

    In case you guys are curious, Dave is the one being shot. This is from an issue of Vigilante. Peacemaker is the guy doing the shooting. And Adrian (The first Vigilante…well, in this particular costume – is the guy yelling)

    I don’t really have a funny line for this one…I liked the character that was killed in this issue. =P

  12. DC-Lover says:

    “How do you make a holy bartender?”

  13. gozuforce says:

    ”-Bob’s invicibility is neat.
    -wait…it’s Dave? damn! sorry!…”
    doesn’t match the speech balloons, but is it that important?

    “look out, a bee is on your jacket!”

  14. gozuforce says:

    sorry fo the repost!

    ”-Bob’s invicibility is neat.
    -wait…it’s Dave? damn! sorry!…”
    doesn’t match the speech balloons, but is it that important?

    “look out, a bee is on your jacket!”

    “I ordered: say Blam!”

    “HOOOO, those flying ”blam!”! I hate them! hate them! HATE !”

  15. Kaito94 says:

    1: “No one expects the Midas Inquisition!”
    2: “You told me this was a paintball gun!”
    3: “But you said we were going to play laser tag!”

  16. Iago Valentine says:

    “I’m sorry, I can’t let you do that.”

    Seeing as how his name is Dave, presumably David, that was the first thing I thought of.

  17. Patrick Nolan (archangel 13) says:

    “Nine lives eh?… eight, seven, six…”

  18. RobM says:

    “I didn’t say ‘Simon says.'”
    “I hate rhythmic gymnastics.”
    “This is for letting Leifield draw our background.”

  19. Gabe Puratekuta says:

    “Revenge, you team-killing fucktard!!”
    “That was my candy!”
    “My modem reset!!”
    “Relax, we’ve got more Dave clones in the back.”
    “Where’d those other shots come from?”
    “Give me money!”
    “I told you I’m not going to shoot Dave!”
    “You took my job!”
    “Non sequitur!”

  20. TJDouglas13 says:

    “Oh no now my wife will find out about my secret donut stash! I mean ouch…”

  21. Kakikaji says:

    “Fear my Blam Gun!!”

    “I know what you’re thinking did he fire five blams or six? Actually it was seven you’re all wrong!”

    “Seven! Only three more, then your punishment will be over! Or you’ll be dead. Either one works for me.”

    “Dave who? The guy i’m shooting, that’s not him… oh wait.”

  22. skullcraze says:

    Shazam motha effa!!!!!!!!

  23. LoneWolf6155 says:

    You said his name was Dan!!!

    FREEZE, oh wait, I was supposed to say that earlier.

    Resisting arrest may result in BLAMING!

    To use excessive force or not to use excessive force? That is the question.

  24. SongBird says:

    1. Eat BLAM, Jazz Hands!
    2. Yo, Dawg, I heard you like BLAM. So, I put a BLAM in your BLAM so you can BLAM while you BLAM!

  25. TOOL says:

    Simon says DIE!

  26. Joel says:

    “This tactic is what we call a splits-krieg!”

  27. Skybandit says:

    1: Damn Jehovah’s Witnesses!
    2: Screw the Comics code!
    3: You shoot him in the back, I’ll get him from the front!
    4: Make fun of my Prince Valiant haircut, will you?
    5: A jogger? In Pirate boots? Kill him!
    6: Got this seven shooter from a handsome stranger!
    7: Oops! I hit autofire!

  28. Skybandit says:

    Jeff’s adapting to Texas. This is the third contest in a row dealing with guns and explosions!

  29. 1rd2th3st says:

    1. I’m sorry Dave, this mission was to important…
    3. DAMN IT!! The taser is always in my other holster!
    4. What? No my name’s Brian, Dave’s my brother.

  30. alphaalpharomeo says:

    no, you don’t move like Jagger

  31. Frankie says:

    “Blue hog! I HATE yellow!”

  32. Vampyrist says:

    1) I told you to stop calling me Shirley
    2) It looks like I just blue you away. Hyeeeeaaahh!!!!

  33. Lionheart says:

    “Oh crap! I guess you where right Dave. This gun is loaded.”
    “Hay, Dave I think I got the fly that was……. Oh crap.”
    “So, you just pull the trigger and then…… oops.”

  34. William Peterson says:

    {Entry #2}
    “So, you’d rather be a Sidekick to someone who’s got his own Comic, huh? Take THAT!!!”

  35. r g bergmann says:

    Six Six bullets to the torso ah ah ah
    Thats count Dave to you pilgrim..

  36. Mef says:

    “can I try your anti-bullet armour?”

    “did you like my new gun?”

    “HA!!! a gigant bug!!!”

  37. NHA247 says:

    The invite said to wear yellow!


  38. JRW says:

    1. “Whoa, Black Betty”
    Note: Not old enough to make true reference to this song, but still feel dated by having it be the first thing that I thought of when I saw this.

    2. “I forgive ya, but my Blammy gun don’t”

    3. “Happy what?!”

  39. Bryce Wasley says:

    What’s the big deal? I’m just shooting him.

  40. Herr D says:

    Orange HATES blue!

    What’s this do?

  41. Jack says:


    “Goddamn QVC and their defective Swiss Cheese guns!”

    “Why yes, my favorite book is Holes!”

  42. Myro says:

    1. “No fair! I don’t have a back gun.”

  43. Jack Zelger says:

    – “I HATE Cirque du Soleil!”

  44. Jack Zelger says:

    “No jumping!”

  45. Bael says:

    No. I don’t have spirit.

  46. Frankie says:

    “I’ll prove that he still loves you.”

  47. skullcraze says:

    FINGER SPASM!!!!!!

  48. Xair says:

    That’ll teach you not to make fun of my hair again, Cheer Leader Man.

  49. dblade says:

    2. “Quite impressive, Van Damme. Now dodge this!”

  50. Myro says:

    2. “If you can dodge a bullet, you can dodge a ball.”

  51. Dr. Shrinker says:

    Did somebody say, “BLAM?!?”

  52. FRM says:


  53. 1. He’s trying to hug me!
    2. I said no anchovies!
    3. Dave… YES!
    4. Talk about blowback…
    5. Speaking of Daves… you remember “Super Dave” Osborn?

  54. rex says:

    i just killed chuck Norris

  55. rex says:

    i fired 3 times but 5 blams came out

  56. Jack says:

    “Jean-Claude van BLAM I’m good!”

  57. Steve says:

    “Did you make the Mass Effect 3 ending? This is what I think…”

  58. E350 says:

    – Three shots in, five shots out. I love this gun.

    – BLAM the rainbow! Taste the rainbow!

    – Dave, YES!


  59. Myro says:

    3. “No, you’re not in the Matrix. I’ll prove it.”

  60. Joel says:

    “Screw the slingshot! Take that Goliath!”

  61. Joel says:

    “Oooh I love charades! Let’s see… Dying!…. Getting shot!…. Tell my wife and kids I love them!”

  62. crazychicken101 says:

    “see you later,aligator”
    “later gator”

  63. ProwlerKnight says:

    “To coin a classic line….KEEP THE CHANGE YA FILTHY ANIMAL!!!”
    “Hey is my gun clogged….BLAM!!!….oh, forgot to turn the safety on.”
    “Rock, paper….BLAM!!….I win.”
    “That’s gonna hurt in the morning.”
    “You choose paper huh….BLAM!!…gun beats all.”

  64. ProwlerKnight says:

    (sorry for another post, slow-working mind >.<)

    "This'll teach you to track mud into my house!!!"
    "YOU did WHAT to my DAUGHTER!!!!???"
    "You were suppose to hold the apple on your head!!!"

  65. themadkiller says:

    ”take some bullets blue thing”

  66. rex says:

    try out the new blam gun. for only $5.99. plus shipping and handling

  67. P.F. Bruns says:

    1. “See that? Right up the spine, leaving all the delicious meat intact.”

    2. “Aw, man. Now we can’t re-use the suit.”

    3. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about the knockback on this sucker. Guess Dirty Harry was wrong.”

    4. “Nobody makes fun of my helmet but me!”

    5. “That’s the LAST time you steal MY lift ticket!”

  68. Waally1 says:

    “Dave yes!!!”

  69. Myro says:

    Curious how many people get this one, but at least a few should.

    4. “Uh, Dave’s not here, man.”

  70. Joel says:

    “Eh, it was worth a shot. HA! See what I- oh he’s dead…”