Although my new full-time (non-HeroMachine) job might keep me from actually getting to these before tomorrow, it's time for another Open Critique Day!
But hopefully you'll get a lot more than 16 neurons firing on the case.
If you have a HeroMachine illustration or another piece of artwork you've done that you'd like some help with, post a link to it in comments along with your thoughts on it -- what you think is working, what you're struggling with, etc. I will post my critique of the piece, hopefully giving some tips on how to improve it.
Of course everyone is welcome to post their critiques as well, keeping in mind the following rules:
- Make sure your criticism is constructive. Just saying "This sucks" is both rude and unhelpful without giving specific reasons why you think it sucks and, ideally, some advice on how to make it better.
- Each person should only post one illustration for critique to make sure everyone who wants feedback has a chance.
- I will not critique characters entered in any currently running contest, as that doesn't seem fair to the other entrants. You can still post it if you like for the other visitors to critique, but I will not do so.
That's it! Hopefully we can get some good interaction going here and help everyone (me included!) learn a little bit today.
Okay, let’s go with this one. I tried out a bunch of different looks.
http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk15/Sulemania/Heromachine/archer3.png
Here’s a demonstration of the masking involved.
http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk15/Sulemania/Heromachine/archermasking.png
I wanted to make an archer type character using the angled torso and head items, but finding armor and headgear to go along with them wasn’t easy. For example, the hood was hard, and the leaf camouflage was a rather quick fix to hide the slightly awkwardly placed upper arms.
Is the design perhaps a bit too bland? With the top-notch fantasy artwork out there, I fear this might be a bit too simple.
How did it work out? Does the pose look natural enough? Should it be more dynamic?
I went with a green-and-brown color scheme, but I’m wondering if I should have added in some other colors. Which parts look like they could use extra color or ornamentation?
http://klanzqwest.narod.ru/art13.png
^ Steampunk witch-qween.
@Suleman
The pose is off to a good start. My main issue is his right arm. The shoulder should be a bit further back, or his torso would be more side-on (which I realise is a bit more difficult to achieve in HM3). The arm also seems a tad bit thin to me, but I dunno how others see it.
Another small detail is that he’s not holding the bow in his hand, but I’m not sure how that can be fixed, looking at the masking.
In terms of design, it’s not bad. It is a little flat, but mix up the shades of the clothing and it’ll be fine.
Here’s my pic. He’s a character of mine on an RP site, which is why I have him in that boring standard pose: http://i519.photobucket.com/albums/u352/DENZIS666/Abyssal-2.png
@Suleman, that’s a great image. It’s good that you’ve had a go at doing a different pose, even if it isn’t brilliant. Most people (me included) tend to feel more comfortable sticking with the standard parts, especially for the torso. The colour scheme is good too.
My personal preference out of the three looks is the one on the right. I’d probably say my least favourite is the middle one, just because I prefer the colour scheme from the others. However, it would depend on who the character is and what his role is, etc. For example, if your character was a baddie, I’d go for the middle one because of the darker colours.
I don’t think it’s bland at all. I like all three designs, and I think the pose is quite good. My only suggestion would be to try having a bent right arm (our left) instead of a straight one. Look at pictures of archers to see what I mean – the arm pulling the string back is usually bent.
@Rozenstal, I love the concept – it’s really wacky and fun – and the colours. The overall image is also pretty good. Just a few little things. The head seems to blend into the chest because it’s the same colour. Having it low down (or maybe the shoulders too high) reinforces that impression. There are two things you can do to solve that. Either move the head upwards, so you can see that it’s separate, or make the chest under it darker, for contrast.
One more thing. I know the legs look cool, but the way they interact with the robe – not so cool. She looks like she’s standing on the back of her robe. I don’t know quite what the best solution to that is, but you might want to think about it.
DISCLAIMER: I realise there may be reasons you want those effects, and don’t wish to change them, in which case feel free to completely ignore me. I can only offer my personal opinions on your image. Thank you.
@Rozenstal I like your witch queen, the pose works wonders. My only beef with it is the right hand, it is bent to a point where it is almost out of its sleeve.
@Suleman I agree with the others, the arms are a bit stiff. My personal favorite is the left one, it screams archer in the woods the most to me.
@Kaylin88100 Wow, he looks great. My only problem is with how detailed his head is, which is fantastic, the rest of the body seems a bit bland. Maybe using the 2 line colors to make some shading by using a darker color 1. Another thing, which is more personal preference, is his arms. With so much armor on his upper body and legs, why not a wrist guard or something on his arms.
Jeff, this is my own character, Bastian. He is a merc who wears the Seven League Boots, a pair of mythical boots which allow their wearer to teleport vast distances.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81550&d=1325770086
I wanted to thank you all for stepping in and providing critiques, it’s really great of you!
I’ll try and help you with the pose. To me, it is very stiff for a pic that looks like he is in motion. If he had the bow pulled all the way back he would be locked in his position. What I see is he’s beginning to pull the arrow back to fire. I made something that I hope helps you to fix this. http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81760&d=1327077832
What you want to start with is his balance. You want to get one foot placed directly under his head which he would have all his weight on. I chose the left to show that. Don’t be afraid to exagerate on a pose, it most of the time makes your character more dramatic. Go to extremes and then pull it back. Hope this helps. Cheers!
What do you guys think? I’m thinking the energy sword is a bit too much.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81639&d=1326285277
@MisterDinoMan I like the look behind him and the Zyping is good. The sword is okay, he could do without, but it doesn’t hurt him in my opinion. My problem is with the jetpack, you can barely see the flames holding him aloft. Maybe make them more opaque or use gradients to make them glow more and stand out more on your blue background.
Great Character! The helmet and top half are awesome! I would work on the bottom half to match more to the top. The boots need to be bulked up to blend with the shoulder pads. EXAGERATE! And change the primary color to a lighter tone on the arms, torso and legs to give some definition. Hope it helps1
Trying to comment, but awaiting moderation…
And now to take the plunge. I have admired what all of you do forever so here’s my first entry into this realm. Please be forthright in your critique. I would like to improve.
http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p557/Syzyx/Shockstorm3.png
@Kaylin88100, She did not – his legs hang, it stands on the spider legs.
A simple head bent low, as the attacking animal.
@ MisterDinoman – I agree with vampryrist about the jetpack. Make that sucker glow!
@Syzyx Very nice. The gradients turn a great costume, into a brilliant image. The only thing I’d maybe do is spread out the misc back/foreground items like the bottles. They wouldn’t be so neatly piled up in the corner in a real alley.
@ Syzyx – I like him. The only thing I see is that he blends too much with the backgrond. If you don’t want to change the costume or background colors, take a white gradient and place it behind the character to separate him from his surroundings. Play with ALPHA to dilute it. Hope this helps… Cheers!
@ Rozenstal – Creepy character! Play with the carpet color, it blends with the coat too much. Try a warmer color. And shrink the foot that is farther back to give that illusion.
Oh, great. OCD now, and I don’t know what to post – again my memory fails me and I don’t know if I posted this guy, Stellar Angel before. Oh well, let’s just hope somebody with better memory will tell…
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/001/0/9/stellar_angel_by_malfar-d4l0vzu.jpg
Revision of Abyssal, using advice from ams and Vampyrist: http://i519.photobucket.com/albums/u352/DENZIS666/AbyssalRevised.png
@Vampyrist: Thanks for the advice. I’d been trying to go for kinda a junkie’s stash, but I think you’re right about spreading them out a bit.
@ams: I had never considered the white gradient possibility. I popped it in at 35% and dropped the other gradients down to 80%. I can definitely see him stand out more from the background, though I’m not sure if the blue glow effect still works?
http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p557/Syzyx/Shockstorm2.png
Suleman: (I’m sneaking in one or two critiques during lunch.) I agree with the comments about his right arm, that’s the one that looks a bit “off” in that pose. However, I think mostly that’s due to the sleeve and coloring, as the last example you provided looks a lot better — leaving the sleeve off lets his warm-colored upper arm stand out against the greens of his tunic so it really pops. The same is true of his tunic and waist area. That third one is definitely the stronges in my opinion.
I don’t think the design is at all too boring, he looks good!
Rozenstal: I pretty much agree with everything Kaylin88100 said. It’s a good illustration and an interesting character, with where the legs intersect with the robe and the way the right wrist looks broken being the weaker areas.
Good job! And thanks to Kaylin88100 for the critique.
I working this composition for til season contest. I always redo the whole thing. I always missing something, but it don’t realize for me what is that.
S.U.A.S
http://img861.imageshack.us/img861/3800/suas.png
@Jeff, no problem! It’s gone 6pm here, so I’ve got some free time. I’m always happy to help fellow creators.
I’ll post something for critique when I can think of what to post…I recently had a computer crash and lost all my saved characters, EVEN the text saves 🙁
OK, here’s one. Just a little something I made for fun and want to share with you all.
http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h464/Kaylin88100/11thDoctor.png
Thoughts?
Nice picture, Tarkabarka. Great hair styling as always, cool poses, and some good use of Zyping. I’ll be able to give more critique if I know what it’s supposed to be. What does S.U.A.S stand for?
I really can’t tell it. I really feel to something missing but i really don’t know what is that. I think a lot, but really don’t find the answer. And the S.U.A.S is Stand UP And Scream
http://i1107.photobucket.com/albums/h385/R_A_F/HEROMACHINE/Science%20Fiction%20Characters/HUnter2.jpg
heres one ive been wantin to post for a while
One of the members of my Steampunk-era team (although he’s not going to look very steampunk himself). This is Rajesh, the martial artist.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81566&d=1325865722
This a alchemical mutate loosely representing Lust.
http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/LegionofLust.png
Alchemically mutated.
http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/LegionofLustNormal.png
Normal Version.
@Malfar – I don’t know if you show this, but i think the colorwork is very dynamic and very separate for the background. The wing transparency color i think no needed, but not an bad idea. The zypping is very dinamic, and fit for the char. For me the upper legs is a little bit plain for the other parts of the body.
@Albannach – Great char. Good coloring and feeling this picture. If i give another advice try to change the outline color of the character. Maybe a little darker color is change a little and you see a miracle.
@Syzyx – Great composition. If i make the picture i change the saturation of the zypping or i change the outline of the char for a lighter color. Btw i like this picture so cool.
@Kaylin88100 – I feel a little bit sorry, to don’t know more for Doctor Who. Only now start to play in the television, and if what i see i think that series is so cool. Great idea behind this. So i don’t know wich doctor is that but this picture have the feeling this is is Doctor who and the Tardis Control panel. I like this picture. (In hungarian the title it’s Ki vagy Doki? – Who are you Doc? – Another fail for translate… )
@Aaron – So the cloths and the stance is good. Simple work but no needed more. I see a few of problem. I think the left hand (for me the left hand) is to complex. Too many item, i don’t see that is an sword, martial weapon or a pistol. The other problem for me is the background, too dark. It’s not problem for the upperbody, but the hat in the had are really hard to see it. A little lighter background or brighter outlines are help this.
Thanks for all the advice, guys.
I actually went ahead and tried out some changes. I changed the arm and leg position somewhat, tweaked the bowstring (that took the longest)and did a bunch of other minor stuff. I also took the liberty of adding in the flowing dress, the easiest and laziest way of creating an illusion of movement.
http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk15/Sulemania/Heromachine/archerdoublefinal.png
I’ll try to say something about your designs as well, before the day is done.
yo nose que mas le pudo agregar pero lo que mas me preocupa es el fondo pues no tengo idea de que fondo ponerle
http://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff392/CARPIO-16/hm3-beta-1.png
Thought I would post this art asset. This is a piece requested by Kytana for her Random Finalist Consolation Prize, but I’m not sure I hit it. Doing this Hair piece 🙂 has made me consider adding natural human hair to my Restricted list for asset prizes. It’s been really hard to get it right and match Jeff’s art style. Feel free to critique.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81761&d=1327091183
life and death:
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/234/c/3/life_and_death_by_karzykyle-d47hu2b.png
Hey, this is my first time using light effects what do ya think?
http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h476/surs1/hm3-beta-2.png
@Myro – I technically can’t see any problem, thats a great creation. Very dynamic picture. Great color work, and the pose is so naturally.
I can’t find any problem. Great work Myro.
@Suleman – Yes overally looking more better. For the bow problem i can’t give advice, but if you registrate in the forum, check Zyp creations and find the picture Mongol in the page 5. That solved your problem. (I don’t know to can i show an another creator picture, if not problem, and you can’t see in the forum i give a direct link for that awesome picture.)
@Adolfo-carpio – Sorry i don’t understand what you wrote here. I only write what i think in eglish or hungarian 😀 – These picture have a great dynamic. The hair and the head give an unique feeling this picture. There is some visually problem. The left leg (for me the left) is shown for wrong direction. You need to use masking for the bow and need to rotate the arrow for the hand direction and after that also mask the item. Btw good picture, have an nice aura.
I’ve taken an interest to your archer character and took a stab at it. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m a visual guy and think a picture is worth a thousand words. If you want the text for the pose, I’ll post it in the forums only with you request.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81762&d=1327091929
@Dblade – I like it, very similar with Jeff work. I think if you give to more line i the upper side of the hair it’s more shown the hair separate (sorry i really don’t know how to wrote that in english). I like it and i think Kytana also like it if she see it.
@Kyle – Very hard, but so cool composition. I know how to hard to use 1 more char in a picture. It’s a great attemp with a deep meaning. I see a few visually problem. The angel wings i think not in a good direction. I think you need to rotate back the right wing and transform for a little. The arms are not equals. The left are is so thin the right are are so heavy. And the picture separate line is lower than needed i make the separate in the join of the clothes.
@Captain Kicktar – Sorry i now see your picture.
So first about the normal version. – I like her, i think the skirt not good, i find another skirt maybe a lover version.
And the mutant mode version. SOOO cool, great effect. I like the eyelash it’s looking really flamy. My advice to forget the clothes and use the flames to cover the tits and the lover parts.
tabaraka thanks. I’m sorry I do not speak much English, but your recommendation is very sound and will not be in vain
one of my old pictures:
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=79207&d=1311286491
First i sorry for Vampyrist and Skullraze I only now see your pictures. first of my critique of Vampyrist.
@Vampyrist. – I like this picture. The face of Bastian sell this picture. It’s look like an character of a final fantasy game. Good item useage. I can’t see any visual problem, maybe the upperbody only with the black shirt is a little bit plain. I think if you give him an armor it’s shown more cool.
@Skullraze. – So you ask about the zypping. Ok so i usually tell to play the color of the gradient. If you transparent the white and give a darker body color more shown it to you use zypping. If you make this in the weapon. (If i make it i use a little darker color (Grey or lighter black) is looking more better. The char is hmmm. soo nasty looking for me shown as a sorry i can’t think other so shown me an agressive skinhead. If you want to do this it’s perfectly sold for me. The body tattoo is very cool. Keep on going more practice. I think in the help section you find AMS tutorial how to use gradient in the body.
And a personal message.
I don’t know to show this in open critque, but i hope this tutorial helps in the clothing of the side body.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81497&d=1325415889
Sorry I’m late, guys, it’s been a busy day.
This latest submission is a bit of a poll. When I made my last offering, the wilderness friar that I call “Uncle Bill,” it got good reviews, but one or two people suggested that the color of his habit wasn’t a good choice, that he blended into his background a little too well. I’ve tinkered with it since, and now would like my colleagues to choose from the following options:
A) the original drawing, showing him in a hunter-green color…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/6522804299/
B) A second drawing, showing him in brown, a traditional monk’s color. (Maybe he blends in too well with the trees now, instead of the foliage)…..
http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/6525735793/
…and C) a new drawing in a heather-blue color.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/6732707845/
This is a choice I’m curious about, since not only was blue considered a very pious color in medieval culture, but the heather-blue shade has a long history of use by outdoorsmen. And “Blue Monk” is the name of a favorite song I grew up with.
Also, this last has an improvement to the sun-behind-trees effect that I used; let me know what you think.
@ams:
That’s a cool pose indeed. I like it. However, my design wasn’t intended to be an archer aiming, but rather an archer preparing to aim. So, yeah, that pose is a better action pose, I agree, but not something I would use with this design. Feel free to post it on the forums. I’d love to see that pose used in a design.
@Meniukas:
That is an excellent job with the background. It looks really great and three-dimensional, with a lot of variety as well. You even remembered the shadow! I might not have used those stars for the sky, but that’s an incredibly minor detail.
@Albannach: I really like the helmet, the forearm armor and the leg armor. Turning the wristband into a half-glove is a great idea. The pharaoh style helmet is a nice touch.
@Tarkabarka:
Thanks for pointing me to Zyp’s creations, he’s a really talented guy.
Well it´s been a while since my last post here cause i´ve been really sick, but i´m better now and here is something that i did before.
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81161&d=1322265284
@ Suleman – Okay, I’ll do that.
Here is my pic for critique. The concept is a biker tough guy type who is a strong telekinetic. Here is PUSH!
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81765&d=1327096562
@Tarkabarka, how’s this
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81766&d=1327097057
@Adolfo-carpio – No problem with that, my english also don’t good enough, i also use translator for find the perfect words.
@Meniukas – So the concept and the overall is so cool. Fully tell me this is an inside of an indian tent. The item usage is fenomenal, it’s give an unique feeling of this picture. For me only problem is the big brighting side down of the picture i think this is so confusing. Overally great work Meniukas.
@Nick Hentschel – I think the second version, the traditional monk color is better. The lightblue is very commonly in the medieval world, but i think this monk is a poor monk who only use commonly clothes. For me the blue is show the monk a rich person. The background is great, the sun effect is perfect.
My God, it’s beautiful!
I actually wanted a critique of my frosty man, Steve, from the last contest. I honestly consider it to be the best thing I’ve made yet.
http://i.imgur.com/Gz2zv.jpg
I’m a little bit tired. 😀 How to Jeff withstand this, but there is no reason to crying back to work.
@Suleman – I’m glad to help you. Zyp works very inspiring me.
@Asder – Great coloring work and item useage. Valkyrian power 😀 – The char have great unique feeling. The pose is naturally, it shown she really fly. My problem only the face. More especially the eyes. For me something is not correct. I think the right eye angle is not good, but i sit close for the computer. Great work Asder.
@Ams – Ok how can i start this. PERFECT. I like every piece of this char. The stance is perfect. The face really shown to how to hard to concentrate. The armor is very cool, and the zypping is awesome. Nice picture and char AMS. (I don’t see this hair. New work?)
@Vampyrist – Looks more better and the background for the teleport circle is an good idea. What you think any effect in the hand. You usually make awesome effects. What you think of an energy blade which coming out from the wristguard.
Zyp is a verb now?
Tried out those suggestions, pretty sure these qualify as slightly NSFW.
http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/LegionofLust2.png
http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/LegionofLustNormal2.png
yep, just like Imp Circle is a noun
I just had an idea for a possible new segment, HM Jargon. such terms as Zyping, the Imp Circle, etc. could be identified, and have their histories revealed.
Also @Tarkabarka, like so
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81767&d=1327098924
Albannach, I’ll comment on your revision instead of the original.
Overall I like it. He looks menacing and looming which I hope is the effect you were going for. I think the circle being the same red as the eyes is a good design element. The clothes are all solid, too.
The only parts I’m not crazy about are the shin guards on his shins. They seem so low … I mean, I know there are shin guards, but the shape of these (having been drawn for the knees) is so rounded that at first I thought he was some sort of satyr-like humanoid.
Also, the highlight color on the black uniform bits is hard to make out, so he ends up looking like it’s just a void. I can just make them out, and it might be this laptop’s screen not being very bright, but that’s how it’s reading for me.
Good job though, I like the character design a lot and as an illustration it’s very good!
That could be quite useful.
Vampyrist: This is hard without comment numbers! I might have to figure out how to turn those back on …
This one reminds me quite a bit of Albannach’s and I’ll make some of the same comments. The basic design is good, but the bit I have trouble with is the black uniform parts coming off as just a big block of undifferentiated color. Since this is the second one in a row I am saying this about, it might well just be my monitor (or my ancient, decrepit eyes).
In this case it’s a bit more pressing because with the chin helmet portion also being black, it almost looks like he’s getting eaten by his shirt, or that he’s wearing a super stiff collar that immobilizes his head.
Again, might be just me, so take that with a grain of salt.
I’d also like to see some color differentiation in the boots, to set the foot portion apart from the uppers. I think that would help it pop.
Finally, I can’t say I am a huge fan of using the leg boots as gloves. The curves just aren’t quite right.
Having said all that, I still think it’s a solid drawing and a good character design!
@Syntax. No Zyp is a person whose first use the zypping aka gradients. He made awesome works. If i use gradients i use zypping. 😀
So the picture.
The character looks great, very frosty looking. The effect in the left hand is great, and the head with the googles shown he is frosty. For me the background a little bit confuse. I think the snowflakes are no needed, the char personally shown this is cold picture. The floor is also confusing me. I see what you want to make it, but i think if you make another circle and rotate to fill up the lower right side of the picture. I give maybe a bear in the background and coloring for white. The polar bear also give the feeling that picture is about of winter and cold. I like the char, but the background need a few work.
Since Jeff will probably never host a contest where we redesign copyrighted character’s costumes, I’ll post my version of a new outfit for a certain popular alien. Being a child of the Silver Age (yes, I’ve actually bought new comic books for a dime) I always dug those Kryptonian headbands, and wondered why someone who could turn girders into pretzles didn’t wear gloves to prevent his fingerprints from being embossed on bent gun barrels and such.
http://i1018.photobucket.com/albums/af309/skybandit/Skybandit-SonofBigBlueBoyScout.jpg
MisterDinoMan: I’ll agree with the other folks, the sword is probably not necessary as it’s so hard to see in that pose, and the jet pack needs more ZOOM. I also get a little visual confusion from the gray strutwork building just behind his leg blending in with the uniform, so I’m not sure if I’m supposed to read it as some sort of insect wing attached to him or a background feature.
I think it’s a good character sketch, but I keep feeling like as an illustration it needs something to help settle the figure-ground relationships better. There’s so much black and gray that the whole thing flattens out a bit. A more robust rocket flame might help, or something like having him standing on a rooftop instead to show a clear plane division.
Syzyx: Welcome! Glad you decided to jump in!
I really like it! Great use of energy effects, setting, and pose. I love how the lightning is confined to only certain parts of the uniform, that’s cool, and the subtle glow effect totally works as well. The name is evocative, too. I appreciate the environmental work of the trash next to the building, good touch.
I do tend to lose his right (our left) shoulder in the black background a bit as it’s dark on dark. And while I like the concept of the font used for the name, it’s hard to read with the lightning or cracks or whatever in there.
Otherwise, great job!
I won’t bother posting a second revision of Abyssal when the change is so minor, but I replaced those kneepads with the shin portion of the first boot in Male-Tech. It looks much better- and yes, I realise it’s quite odd that I chose to use a kneepad before an actual shinguard. Thanks for the critiques, guys!
don’t forget my archer pose(not for critique)
http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/mongol.png/290245443/680×516/mongol.png
http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/hmarcherpose.doc
how ’bout this cyborg mechanic dude inside a clocktower?
http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/clock2.png/293384344/667×504/clock2.png
i have a good picture of a guy running from the cops, but i cant figure how to do him tripping, and falling into a hole.
http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/runaway1.png/294021080/800×600/runaway1.png
I can’t remember if I had entered this character in a critique before but I have been going back and revamping some of my art and this is one I tweaked a lil bit, see what you think?
http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/My%20Characters/TOOL-CaptainRedBeard.png
Also, Jeff or DBlade I have a character that you may be familar with that I have been having trouble with, I have made three different versions of him and it still doesn’t feel right, I respect yall’s opinion and was wondering if you two had time to take a peak and see if you could help me out, if you guys have time of course?
@FRM – Only one picture for critique.
Guys my personal opinion is one thing, wait for Jeff for what he tell for your picture.
Sorry if i don’t give good advices but in C.E. time is 0.13 and i avoke up like 20 hours.
Eh. What the heck. Here’s one more version of the archer character. Now with aiming, and a longbow. It’s not a perfect aiming pose like ams’s, but I couldn’t help trying.
http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk15/Sulemania/Heromachine/archerlongbow.png
http://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff392/CARPIO-16/hm3-beta1.png
this is another I just did
Yeah, Steve (or as he is listed on my computer, Frosty Man) is already kind of WEARING a polar bear. Their skin is black, you know. 😉
I put in the snowflakes just because I thought it would make an interesting background element. The shadow gradient was a bit of an afterthought, but I liked the way it looked, so I kept it in.
And yes, I do know that Zyp is a person, thats why I asked why his name had become a verb.
His gun is raised much too high, it looks like he’s aiming at us rather than the thug. Maybe, lowering it?
@Vampyrist, I like the use of the foot/leg wear items on the upper body. I like using items for other purposes than what they were originally for.
@Meniukas, First of hello, I don’t think I have seen you round these here parts. I really like the overall look and the detail.
@FRM, I love the idea of the cyborg mechanic but the right sleeve looks a little off, maybe a differnt sleve combo would work better.
@Suleman, Hello, I don’t think I have seen you around here either. I like the archers you have posted here, looking at items in different angles.
@ Suleman:
My only caution is that the arm that’s holding the bow should be angled downward more, so that the arrow is more level with the guys’s chin. That’s how it looks in real life. But that’s only IF you can pull it off; these components can be pretty inflexible to work with. 😛
@ Syntax:
“The skin is black, you know.” As a matter of fact, I did know, but I doubt many others did. Finally, someone ELSE who paid attention in biology! Thumbs up!
And could my poll get a few more voters, please? Only Tarka’s spoken up……
I’d really like people’s thoughts on this: http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/Tuldabar/Heros/Kappa.png.
I submitted “Kappa” on the Pisces character contest, and unfurtunately do not have him in my files because I was using a college mac at the time (while my laptop was being fixed).
The canoe took FOREVER.
I’ll bet it did: for such a simple, common item, it’s remarkably hard to simulate. We should all work on adding one to the list of items…..
@ Nick Hentschel:
I don’t pay attention in biology, I learned that fact when I was in Elementary School. I was the kid that got mad when the teacher told me that I HAD to play during recess and I wasn’t allowed to sit on the bench and read.
Seriously. I would have been punished for being defiant just because I wasn’t playing during recess. WTF What sense does that make?
As for your poll, I don’t really care. Do what you think is best. The only thing I would change is his left eye, but thats because it doesn’t match the other one and is driving my OCD crazy.
yeah, i only want jeff to critique the first one, but if anyone’s got ideas for the second…
😉
thanks, i’ll try and fix that.
http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/clockfix.png/294029736/698×525/clockfix.png
i got the idea from Bao-Dur from KOTOR2, and from “clockwork cyborg” from the cyborg contest (i forgot who did that one).
😉
@ tarka: Thanks for the words and your advices. I´d try to do some changes but i lost all of my savings (again) and re-do it wouldn´t as fun as the first time.
no offense, but it looks sort of noodley, though a few existing HM3 hair items look noodley, too. other than that i think it’s great, but it’s up to Kytana.
This is an original character I’ve been working on for many years, but never settled on a costume.
http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee222/sniperdiz/COPPERCANNON.jpg
Name: Copper Cannon
Young adult, genius, Technologically advanced suit that harnesses conceptual battery tech (shoulders/knee pads)
Electrical based powers, gadgets and various other tricks integrated into his suit.
I am stuck on it, because I want to incorporate more copper into the outfit, but adding more throws off the whole appeal of the color scheme.
Another conflict is between the yellow orbs and blue lighting effects (the eye and powers) I can’t tell if mixing the two bright colors works or hurts the design.
http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae99/dhabirunner/alphaalpharomeo-energyemitter-skullfire.png
Skullfire
@FRM, that looks better.
To anyone who uses devianart.com, I’m sorry but my computers will not let me view that site for some reason. So if I don’t say anything about your art it’s because I can’t see it. Has anyone seen mine? I didn’t hear any critiques yet…
different subject– in the heromachine forums on UGO, about a month ago, i hit register & it says unable to register at this time. it is saying that still. what does this mean, and what do i do about it?
I just tried the link and it said an email was sent with pass to my email. I can’t see my personal mail on this computer but I will take a look at it later.
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/lj_Rf3uiG6ZV624Q-lxbgNMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=directlink
Something I was messing with a couple weeks back.
I had one of those ‘duh’ moments when I realized that the scaling tool wasn’t limited by the drag interface, and I could plug in any number I wanted.
Is the open critique still open?
Apparently.
since i cant register in the forums, i’ll say what i want to say here:
i think a good new HM3 item would be a blimp in companions, like in this composition by Meniukas:
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=80788&d=1319833745
Okie dokie, i really liked the international heroes that AMS is making so I decided to try and make my own…
Wasafa
http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h471/MysteriousZed22/WASAFA-Angola.png
Also I took two of his that didn’t have flag backgrounds and recreated them.
http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h471/MysteriousZed22/ESCUT-Moldova.png
http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h471/MysteriousZed22/CERBULDEAUR-Romania.png
Tell me what you think. Thanks.
that’s a really cool idea, gene.
Cricket Cricket…
Lots of good stuff. Some feedback:
The revised Abyssal is really solid from head to toe. I especially like the gloves.
Willkommen! The electricity effect is well done. I agree with Vampyrist. Scattering the bottles helps.
Magnifico! He does need work with masking the right hand to the bow and aligning the arrow with the left hand.
Also, I suggest adding a wrap to the arrowhead. For example:
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81776&d=1327113128
I will say that there are many flaws in her pose (proportion of arms, right leg looks like she is wearing pants but left like is nude, etc.). By no means do the flaws diminish your creation! Outstanding!
I consider “OCD” an all weekend event. Jeff might stop giving critiques but there are plenty of us who will continue providing feedback and offering advice.
I’m sure it’s annoying to you, but I’m enjoying these tweaks and tests. It just adds to the whole “living body / work in progress” amateur feel. Numbers would definitely help. The Quote system has already paid off as far as I’m concerned.
I might come back later to offer more feedback later. Can’t guarantee, though.
Bis später!
Tumbleweed.
Q the spaghetti western music
OOoo~oo~oo~oo
It’s almost 10:30, my time; I think we can interpret Jeff as having signed off.
I’m disappointed, myself, as I was hoping for more response to my own post.
I didn’t get any to mine 🙁
Do you want a hug?
Patience, guys. My comments are awaiting moderation, too. Keep in mind that Jeff just drove some 900 miles, is settling into a new apartment, and don’t forget that he started a new full-time job this week!
Jeff’s probably resting. Read his opening statement. He will try to catch up on Saturday. That doesn’t mean we can’t continue to share and critique each other.
I know it takes time to get to some people, I don’t mind the wait sometimes, just gives me time to go over my old art to make it better or make new art.
No no, like I said, I probably wouldn’t get to most of these until tomorrow (Saturday) — I had about an hour to knock out a couple between getting home from the new job and heading back out for an office party, and I literally just walked through the door five minutes ago. Now I’m too tired to do anymore tonight, but I have nothing going on tomorrow so I can focus on these.
On the one hand I apologize for the tardiness, but on the other I did say it would be tomorrow in the original post. And in the first sentence, no less! This full-time gig thing is going to take some adjustments, that’s for sure. I should probably move these OCD posts to Saturday by default, but I know a lot of people like using their Friday workday office lull to poke around on them, versus the family-time of Saturday. So it’s a bit of a conundrum.
As usual I do plan to do a thorough walk-through of each submission and offer at least a few comments on them. That hasn’t changed, it’s just going to take me longer to get to them.
Having said that, I’m “ending” the submission of items for critique (at least for me) — Any after this comment won’t get a review from me when I sit down to do them tomorrow.
Nick, actually I would like to throw my two cents in on your monk, but my phone is acting pretty sketchy interfacing with Flickr, and frankly, the three inch screen isn’t doing the pictures much justice. I’ll be happy to give you an informed opinion when I can look at them on an actual computer screen.
i really like these! i dont know what to say! they’re great!
Malfar: I don’t recall seeing this guy before, so no worries there.
I like the colors and the design! The semi-transparent wings are cool and I like all the armor.
For me, the helmet visor is a little too old-fashioned, too much actual Medieval Knight to go with the space theme. And even though I drew it, I’ve never been a big fan of that particular space background. I’d like to see maybe at least a gradient over it, going from some kind of midnight blue to black or something, just to break up the flatness of it.
But, good job on the character design!
Tarkabarka: Wow, very nice! Another stellar composition. Were those lines on the shirt there or did you add those somehow? You used drop shadows behind the figures very well, it makes the whole scene much more three dimensional and effective. I love the tattoos on the male figure, and his backwards hair is great. The girls are also very well designed.
My main hesitation is in terms of the composition itself, and I just wonder why he is staring at a blank wall just inches in front of his face?
Otherwise, another great illustration!
Kaylin88100: Very nice! That guy looks familiar somehow …
😉
Aaron: I like the character design and environment. He looks like a serious customer. I can’t quite tell what’s going on with the weapon — is the crossguard actually a gun attached to the sword?
Also, I dig the idea of the casual sun hat on top of all this armor and weaponry, but I lose it in the black clouds completely.
Nice job!
Myro: Ooo, I like it! His face is distinctive and personal; I believe this could be an actual person. The pose, clothing, and coloring are all spot-on to give him movement and visual interest without being over-the-top. I like the simple choice of background as well as using it as a design element in the rectangle. It works as a composition very well.
I can’t think of too much to suggest to improve it as I think it’s darn good as-is. I love characters that seem like they have a whole story behind them.
adolfo-carpio: I am sorry, I do not know what language that is. Hopefully you will be able to use Google to translate this reply.
I love it! The pose is great, giving him just enough movement to look realistic. The item choices are perfect — I love the flaming arrow a lot, that’s a perfect touch.
I can’t suggest any improvements, I think you’ve done a great job on this!
dblade: Personally I think it’s great. I am not 100% sure what Kytana requested, but just looking at it as a standalone piece it works, for me at least. I don’t think it looks noodly.
kyle: Love the concept! I like the fundamental design of the characters, the colors, and the background.
The angel’s forearm seems way too big to me, though. I can’t tell if it’s been scaled up too much, or if it’s just that the bottom edge is hidden by the staff and so makes it seem bigger than it is.
The balance also seems off to me, as if the upper angel figure gets more actual height than the lower death section. I think to work they have to be the same, as if they were on a Tarot card and you could flip it around either way.
Neat idea, I applaud you for stretching the bounds of the program!
I think those are great, Wasafa in particular. It’s cool that you’ve done them in same style as ams- while these are obviously not his work (but a bit of tweaking and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference!), it’s clear that they’re part of the same series. Great additions, dude!
skullsraze: The light effects look good, nice job! The character himself is also very solid, particularly the chest tattoo. I like the use of the red in the flames, chest, and eyes area, that makes a nice dynamic.
The more I look at it, the more I think maybe his gun arm is angled oddly. I don’t see how he could get his elbow that low and still have his shoulder there without some of his upper arm showing. I don’t know, I’m having a hard time articulating what it is that bugs me about it, but something just doesn’t look right.
Otherwise, though, great job!
Thanks Jeff. I masking a cape in an square insigna in the line of the upper body, and after layer up that. I use this mode in the tattoo’s
Yeap the composition is my also problem. The main story for the picture is to in front of the male character is a door of hell, where he want to step in, but the girls are want to stop him and hug him leg to don’t go. Another deeper meaning of the picture, if something happen don’t stop and still have to go forward, although it may be people whose want to help and they want prevented to don’t make stupid things.
Meniukas: Awesome. That is all.
No, really, fantastic illustration. The layout, the items, the setting, the figure, all just absolutely spot-on.
My only slight reservation is that the fire almost hazes out too much of the front part of the image. I think it might even work if you just layered another fire core on top of the glow, set to maybe 70% alpha or something, to give the flames some definition.
Seriously, though, this is freakin’ awesome.
Asder: Sorry to hear you’ve been ill, but very happy you’re now feeling better. Welcome back!
Love the illustration. As always, very well put together with a cohesive set of design choices.
My only suggestion might be to try and darken slightly the hair behind her. I think the front hair has some shading built in to it so it looks a little different than the rear hair, which made me take a few seconds to get that it was in fact her hair peeking out down there.
AMS: Wow, fantastic! You do faces better than anyone, I love this one. The green energy effect is great, and I really love the purple touches in his tunic. Awesome outfit, too.
I’m undecided about the design rectangle on this one. I keep thinking the character is strong enough not to need it, but … I don’t know, I can’t decide. Just something to play around with if you get the time, taking it away or resizing it and seeing if it makes for a stronger impact. I guess that’s what’s niggling at me, is that the focus ought to be on the awesome face and energy area, but the rectangle tends to draw the eye down lower on the picture to the less important areas.
Not major, as it’s a FANTASTIC image, but just something to tinker with if you get the urge. Great job, man!
Syntax: That IS nice! I love the design element of snowflake strips down the left. The design of the head area is also very strong. He looks scary!
I’d like to see the interior of the cape be a darker shade of that blue color to help add some dimensionality. Having it be the same tone as the pants and tunic in front flattens it out quite a bit, particularly since the color areas actually touch. His energy hand also seems rotated too far; it looks like it would be very painful to hold it in that position in relation to the angle of the forearm.
Finally, I don’t quite get what the light gray oval feature at the bottom is for. Is it a bridge, an ice sheet, or just a design element? I don’t feel like it adds much to the composition, instead almost inviting the viewer’s eye to slide off the bottom right of the page.
Other than that, though, I agree that it’s a really good illustration and character design!
skybandit: Very cute! I lived through that era, and the scarring introduced by Supergirl’s headband has never really left me. Maybe with the lightning bolt logo, this is actually the love-child of Flash and Kara?!
FRM: I only do one image per person, so I’m taking the first one you posted.
LOVE the clockwork guy! The arm built from gears is very cool and his outfit works great.
Not too much to add, you did a very solid job on this one.
TOOL: Ha, he’s great! Love the tatts, the face, the outfit, and (strangely) the boot. For some reason that shoe totally works for me. I dig the red sash with the gun shoved through it, too, that’s a nice touch. His parakeet is cute, too. Though I bet he wouldn’t appreciate anything he owns being called “cute”.
Great job, TOOL, he looks good!
Tuldabar: Geez, I can believe that canoe took a long time! Great job on it, it looks fantastic.
I remember having a few reservations about this one when it was first submitted. The first was the color — they’re all over, and don’t serve to either lead the viewer’s eye into the important parts or to support the character. For instance, the green of his head is against a background color that’s very close in tone, so I lose focus completely on his head. The backpack has the same color in it as his torso bits, so it’s hard to tell where one stops and the other begins. That sort of thing.
It’s a minor point but it distracts me — he has three fingers on one hand but the usual five on the other. And that five-fingered hand seems awkwardly turned on the arm, as if it were broken almost.
I like the concept and I think the canoe is killer. There are the elements of a good composition there, with the mist and the space background and the water, but the colors sabotage it, making it hard to make out what’s important vs. what’s not and leaving me unsure about how to put it all together, visually.
Hope that doesn’t come off as negative as I fear it does. It’s a good character and concept, that with some work I think can be really good.
Dizzan: You asked mostly about color so that’s where I’ll focus my comments. But, I do want to say I think the basic costume design is good.
The yellow orbs definitely throw off the look, for me at least. I like it in that one top rectangle on his chest, but not in the ovals. Actually I think the oval shapes themselves need to go too — they’re too round, like they’d be jutting really far out of the costume itself. I think you want something that looks more like a shallow dome over the knee and shoulders, but these are more like bowls. I’d try a lighter copper shade and a shallower arc on both spots. There should be some options in Shoulder-Right, I think.
Otherwise, though, he looks good and I think you’re definitely on the right track. If he has electrical powers, you might think about adding maybe something to suggest that, like in the integrated actinic blue bolts of Syzyx’s illustration earlier in the thread.
alphaalpharomeo: Cool! Love the torso area in particular, that’s very solid and menacing. The rest seems a little plain in comparison, but maybe that’s OK if you want to focus on the upper body.
I would suggest, though, that you go with a different, darker red shade for the skull. Having it the same color as the color2 in the neck creates some confusion there. Also, I’d be curious to see how the hand flames would look with some transparency so you got more of a see-through fire effect.
Nice job!
Gene: Yeah, I need to figure out a better way of letting people know they can manually enter scale numbers. Sorry about that 🙁
Love your illustration! It’s a really neat idea and well executed. My only suggestion would be to use something not-black for the eye line color. The effect I get from it is that the scientist is sort of looming and out of focus, like you’d bet from a movie camera focused on her. But the black is so solid it really leaps out against all the more muted colors, spoiling the effect a bit.
Mysterious Zed: Love the character design a lot! The arm is very cool and his loincloth works perfectly.
I do get a bit of gray artifacting around the feet, probably from some sort of masking, I assume?
For me the main issue is with the flag background. With the yellow of the flag sword the same as the actual sword he’s holding, I get some visual confusion. Is the flag a separate design element or a real thing with which he’s interacting? That sort of thing.
Good job, though. I like those AMS flag illustrations too and think it’s a neat approach. You’ve done it pretty darn well here.
Nick: I think I like the blue one best, though the brown is a close second. But since brown monk’s robes are, as you say, pretty common, the blue one is inherently more “interesting”, I suppose.
Just from a visual design standpoint, I like how the brown one echoes the color of the tree trunk and stands out against both the sky and the green trees of the background. The blue one doesn’t have those advantages, but still looks really good. The green robe just blends in to the environment too much. Though maybe that one’s a Stealth Monk Edition!
OK, I think I’ve gotten to everyone who submitted an illustration for critique (although somehow I almost missed Nick, so who knows). If I didn’t comment on yours, my apologies — chime in below and I’ll do so (although still just one per person).
Thanks again to everyone who mustered the courage to go under the bright lights, and especially to those who offered their comments and insights while I was toiling for The Man!
I owe you all the story post for the day, but I need to do some laundry, eat, etc. so it’ll be a bit later in the day.
Meniukas posted his design in the Custom Items Archive > Backgrounds. To get the blimps, simply remove all the undesired elements then Save. You can move and re-size them to as you wish.
I feel like posting another picture just for funsies even though probably no one is going to comment on it since Jeff is gone now. I literally just made this. I call her the Patty Wench: http://i.imgur.com/KrsrK.jpg
Oh, and I fixed up my Frosty Man, Steve. Is this better? http://i.imgur.com/Phm1q.jpg
Thanks for the critique Jeff. I attached the same character without the shape background. I really need to break away from using them. Is there a Imp’s circle Anonymous out there?
http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81773&d=1327112830
Jeff: Thanks for the critique. I was happy with my picture after I was done, but then I went back and wasn’t feeling the same. Apparently, I was just being overly self-critical.
Nick: I have to agree with Jeff on this one. I do like the blue, although I was wondering if you were open to playing with the colors on the trim of his mantle and apron (or whatever you want to call that lower part), to something slightly more complementary. I don’t know if it will make it look better, but it was something I was thinking you could experiment on. And I like the grit pattern you added to his robes to give it the outdoorsy, lived-in look.
Well, I think I’ll try to be better about trying you’re critiques, so if you could do mine, that’d be nice.
Thanks, I thought about going with an eye patch ( Then I would have to call him lucky or something else ironic )as well but I figured I’d cut the guy a break and give him a hand, wouldn’t want his enemies to have a foot up on him LOL.
@FRM: Thanks!
@JEFF: Thanks! ya, looks much better. 🙂
@ Jeff; thanks for the input! BTW, that’s not a backpack, it’s SUPPOSED to be a Kappa (think ninja-turtle) with a shell and everything. As for the hand, yeah I can see where you’re coming from. I had problems with it too.
Long story short, toook forever to make (what with pressing buttons and waiting to use the widescreen to see what actually happened), was rather proud of the result, but ultimately this was deleted from the college mac I was using at the time, so if I’m going to make improvements it’ll have to be from the ground up (and I’m not exactly sure what I did).
Thanks for the help anyways!
@jeff; thanks, i’m glad you like it.
do you know what i can do about my UGO forums registering problem?
FRM, send me the address and user name you registered with to afdstudios@gmail.com and I’ll look into it.
i didnt get that far. i never joined the forum so i dont have either. i just hit register and it says “Sorry, we are unable to register your account at this time.” it doesnt give me options or anything.
Jeff– i also emailed you to say this(FYI)