Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:
The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).
All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!
This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!
1. “Superman, you diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!”
(sorry, couldn’t help myself)
Uh, doesn’t webbing usually come from SPIDERman?
No! I’m not Wolverine, I can’t fastball special!
I can see my house from here!
Doesn’t Bizzarro have the backwards “S”?
@Ian (2): Dang! I was thinking webbing and Wolverine too. Victory goes to the quickest trigger…
Hookers!, here I come.
I’m sorry I gave you a mullet in the 90’s!
Mutton Chop Powers Activate! Activate Dammit!
1) You’re right, Tim Tebow is the best.
3) Flying isn’t all that it’s cracked up to beeeeeeeeeeeeee!
1) Wait! The PARACHUTE!
2) Okay, I’ll turn the game off!
3) Thanks! My hiccups are gone!
4) Hey, Supes, grab my hat, willya?
5) Geez! You’d think I was Kevin Smith!
“Well, that’s the end of THESE undies!”
“Oh, no: not DETROIT!!!”
“This wasn’t the bailout we wanted!!!!”
1. This isn’t my stop!
2. This is the last time I fly AirSuperman!
3. All I asked foor were some free peanuts!
4. Where are my legs!
5. No! Don’t send me to New Mutants, Rob Liefeld draws that!
“No! Not the hat!”
1. Wait! Other people were using their phones too!
1) I PROMISE TO STOP SINGING SHOW TUNES!!!
I SAID I was Hat Man not Batman!
“Wait! I paid for my ticket!”
“I lied. I’m NOT indestructible!”
1) Up Specia.. WAIT U SAID DIS WAZ BRWL
2) I Said Take All MY Money
I swear I never touched Miss Lane!
I’ll never play Words with Friends again.
“No one told me it was a non-smoking flight!”
1) Wait! I haven’t told you the punchline yet!
My name is Arthur BENT, not Dent!
oh my god I’m in a Spiderman Comic book!
1) “Save me, Spide–I mean, Superman!”
“Why did they have to cast superman in the remake of Air-force One?!”
“Wait! You got it wrong, you’re supposed to throw the MISSILE out of orbit and save ME!”
1. That counts as sexual harassment!
2. Yeah, yeah! Throw the rocket scientist out of the rocket!
3. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s a MOTHE-
4. I keep telling you, I am not your kryptonian cousin!
5. And all the girls say I’m pretty fly (for a white guy).
“I swear didn’t know it was your friends Batplane.”
“So this is how you play catch?”
“I swear I didn’t fart.”
“You said grab the joy stick.”
“Last time I ask you how it feels to go faster than a speeding bullet.”
1. But it’s myyyy Plaaaaane!!!
2. I never dated any “Lois Lane”!
3. Watch out (Insert flying character here)!
4. Okay! I’ll add the Superman symbol in heromachine!!
5. Thanks for saving me from that demon jet!!
1. All right, the underwear-over-tights look doesn’t look stupid on you!
2. I said I wanted to fly, not plummet to my death!
3. So that’s why you never tug on Superman’s cape!
4. Hey, you’re Clark Keeeeeeeeeeeeeee……..
1) But I didn’t want to be the first contestant for SUPER-bungee jumping!!!!!!
2) WAIT A MINUTE!!!! The fastball special is a Marvel thing!!!
3) I knew i should have added a chinstrap to my flying hat!!!
1. Ok! We won’t show “Superman Returns” as the in-flight movie!
2. Worst acid trip ever!
3. You know, my heart will stop from sheer terror before you can swoop in to save me!
4. I swear that I’m not on the BCS selection committee!
5. Drat! Lost a contact!
“But I haven’t learned how to MISS the ground, yet!”
2nd “down down and awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy”
3rd “Love you Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom”
1. I’m Rick Perry and I do not approve this messAHHHHH…
(sorry. couldn’t resist)
*Not an entry*
Why is the pilot of a fighter plane wearing a suit and fedora? And DC wonders why people don’t take them seriously.
1. I only wanted a hug!
Who throws a man, honestly?
This is my stop, you can let me off here.
Wonder Woman invited me in her plane, I didn’t break in!
Since when do you have spidermans web stickem powers?
Wait, I didn’t mean that crack about no one liking you because of your invinciblity thing that gives you a superiority complex!
“So THIS is forth class.”
“So THIS is fourth class.”
sorry for double post, didn’t see the first one.
But I’m Billy Baldwin, Not Alec!!!
1. I swear she said she was 21!
2. But I don’t WANNA learn to fly by myself!
3. I swear I never TOUCHED Lois!
4. Oh my God! Is that Stan Lee?!
5. Now, why’d you have to go and pull the webbing outta my ass?!
1)I promise i won’t star in the superman movie!
2)when did since superman had webbed armpit hair!
3)I think i saw something similar like this in marvel comics!
4)Please don’t tell me this happens to me in the comic!
5) Just because my name is peter pan it doesn’t mean i can fly!
*Not an entry*
Okay, so far my favorites are (besides my own of course):
SpeedyJester: Hookers!, here I come.
Skybandito: Wait! The PARACHUTE!
Nick Hentschel: Well, that’s the end of THESE undies!
Hammerknight: I swear I didn’t fart.
William A. Peterson: But I haven’t learned how to MISS the ground, yet!
1) you bully, that’s my rocket!
2) i said, i’m not playing football!
3) someone get me out of here!!!
Okay, Okay, I’ll return my seat back and tray table to the fully upright and locked position!
1. Hwaaa…!! Don’t teach me to fly without a parachute!!
2. To infinity and beyo… Oh no! I’m not Buzz Lightyear!
3. I wanna see my family, but not so fast like this!
4. Don’t practice Angry Birds in real life!!
5. I dunno if superman had webbing skill, but thanks for saving me!
THIS is the connecting flight?!
I was wrong! Underwear looks GOOD on the outside!!
I only deleted one porno! The others are still theerrrrreeeeeee!………..
Oops. Sorry DubbleYoo, I missed yours.
“Why this always happens to meeeee???”
1) Oh no, Not again.
1. No! Not the atomic wedgie!!
2. Curse you Harrison Ford!
4. Screw youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!
5. YOOUUUUURRRRR MMMOOOTTTHHHEEERRR!!!!!!!!
1- Flame on! Flame ooonnn!!!
2- Ok! You’re more stronger than chuck norris!!
3- Chuck Norris heeelp meee!
I cant see my house from here!!!
AAAAH! I CHANGED MY MIND, I DON’T WANNA BE YOUR SIDEKICK!
Killing me won’t undo Superman IV!
Superman! When did you get Spiderman’s web powers?
But I’m not THAT Dr. Hyde!
1) I never learned to read!
“This is not statistically the safest was to travel!”
“This is going to be awesome. You are faster than a speeding bullet, right?”
1. “I just borrowed it. It’s not my MiG.”
2. “You’re coming back right?”
3. “Worst way to end a date, ever.”
5. “Next time, I fly with Green Lantern.”
“All I wanted was directions!”
3) Dang! I knew I never should have said never
“But I had nothing to do with Superman 64!”
“Do I look like Jimmy Olson to you?”
“Fine, it’s your plane now!”
“I’m sorry for booting your head!”
“I didn’t steal your pet dinosaur!”
“”I Should never have Dumped you!””
I thought you were a good guy!?!?!?!?!
1. Okay I’ll spit out my Stride gum!!!
2. WHY WAS I WEARING MY HAT ON THE PLANE….
3. YOIKS AND AWAAAAAAAAY!
4. Oh so this is the “American Way” to fly!
5. Oh, look a sperm whale and a bowl of petunias
“Nooooo!!! My hat!”
I just wanted to play ‘Words with Friends’.
not an entry:
For my money, so far the line to beat is Nick Hentschel’s “Oh, no not DETROIT!!!”
Not an Entry:
As a Detroiter, I find it hilarious and offensive at the same time.
2) Impacting the ground after falling upwards of 30,000 feet, my only weakness!
1.I feel I can fly..
I keep forgetting to ask: is “super-dickery” in any way related to “hickory-dickory,” doc? 😉
“I was kidding! You don’t really look like Dean Cain!”
Ian(75) and others:
I used to live outside Detroit, myself, a long time ago (West Bloomfield), so you have my sympathies.
I was inspired, more than anything else. but the Zucker Bros.’s continual use of the joke, particularly in “A Fistful of Yen.”
“I still think Batman’s cooler than you!”
“This isn’t what I expected when I said I wanted to avoid TSA checks when we land!”
“I have no regrets about making fun of his red underoos!”
“Remember me as I lived… a horrible costume designer named Jim Lee!”
(Yeah, I’m still sour about the ugly New 52 redesigns.)
“Wait, Superman, my hat fell off!”
1. “Okay, I promise not to tell anymore “that’s what she said” jokes.”
2. “Fine! You’re scarier than Batman! YOU’RE SCARIER THAN BATMAN!”
1. WHAT COMES NEEEEEEXTTT?!?!
2. This isn’t what I meant by ‘showing me how to FLLLLYY’ AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
3. NOO!! My security deposit!!
These TSA pat-downs are getting way out of hand!
Not an entry, just an observation:
Either that aircraft is too small to put people in or Supe’s been hitting the Red Kryptonite again.
“So this is what sleep with the birds means.”
“The adult in me likes to fly, but the kid in me just threw the adult in me out of me.”
“It’s okay! This happens to lots of guys!”
These aren’t skydiving lessons! They’re lies!!!!
1) “All I said was this is a meal fit for Jehovah!”
2) Help, I’m falling through the Amalgam Universe! Save me, Super-Spider!
1) I keep telling you, I am NOT Alec Baldwin!
3. “Can you read my mind? Do you know what…NOOOOOOOO!!!”