Caption Contest 100!

It's hard to believe, but this is the one hundredth edition of the HeroMachine Caption Contests! If you'll indulge me, I'm going to take advantage of this centennial episode to take a little stroll down memory lane.

I held the first Caption Contest in March of 2008. Here's the entry that took it all that first time, which was submitted by Hades:

That was a toughie, with three separate balloons by two different speakers. Nowadays I've gone all soft on you people, but back then we had to write both ways uphill in the snow. I realize that makes no sense, but after three years, why start making sense now?!

I've always enjoyed Count Libido's winner for Caption Contest 6, with one of the cleverer ad puns to date:

Generally I try to keep these very clean and kid-friendly, but I couldn't resist Rick's slightly ribald entry for Caption Contest 15:

One of my all-time favorites came the very next week by BiLLYisAkID:

I loved the out-of-left-field grim humor displayed by X-Stacy in Caption Contest 18, a preview of years of fun to follow:

Runt82 thought he was making a joke in Caption Contest 29, but in fact this power will soon be appearing in the pages of the new "Superman" reboot.


We also got a rejected preview poster from the upcoming "Avengers" movie courtesy of X-Stacy in Caption Contest 38:

There are too many more to get into, of course, but those are a few of my favorites from the past three years. Thanks to everyone who comes by to put in their ideas, I always enjoy reading what you come up with!

And now, on to the 100th edition of the Caption Contests. The prize this week is a bit different, too -- we're going old-school, and for your prize you will get a free custom black and white character sketch of any one of your characters you like. So if you've always wanted a convention-style shot of your favorite creation all drawn up fancy-like, this is your chance!

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

What's not to love about Tyrannosaurus Reich?! All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

99 Responses to Caption Contest 100!

  1. HairWhip says:

    Bread bullets!, alot better than using my midget arms to feed me!

  2. Rick says:

    1. “mmmmm…Bacon!”
    2. “Gene Simmons, ain’t got nuthin on me!”

  3. HairWhip says:

    Bullet deflecting tongue activate!!!

  4. SeanDavidRoss says:


  5. Whit says:

    1) Mmm, I hear they taste like chicken.

  6. Bael says:

    This GTA mod ROCKS!

  7. Captain Kicktar says:

    All I wanted was a lollipop!

  8. Bael says:

    Here, piggy, piggy, piggy…

    Sorry. It popped into my head and wouldn’t shut up.

  9. Dan says:

    1. “You’ll never take me alive coppers. Meh!” (this MUST be read in the 1940’s ganster voice)
    2. “Not The Mama!!” (a deep gravely voice for this one.

  10. Sutter_Kaine says:

    Behold the mighty Bubble Wand of Destiny!

  11. thor1066 says:

    PLANET OF THE APES! They’re remaking Planet of the APES!!!!

  12. Boomcow2 says:

    (Seriously, it looks like quite the fender-bender these folks are in.)

  13. Bud says:

    1. Nothing fits. NOTHING EVER FITS!
    2. The cake, its a lie!

  14. Mr.MikeK says:

    1. Somebody call for an exterminator?
    2. Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

  15. GreenBat says:

    Good Morning America!

  16. Joel says:

    “They call me tyrannosaurus wrecks!”


    “Oh wait, it’s not? Sorry, could someone please tell me how I can get to Tokyo, sorry.”


  17. nakiato says:

    1)this is the last time i travel though arizona without my birth certificate !

    2)Why does everything I touch get destroyed!

    3)If only my father would of said he loved me this would have never happend.

    4)God I love detroit!!

    5) And to think I was only driveing 30 in a 25 zone!

  18. punkjay says:

    Darn you people! All I wanna know is where is the closest big & tall store is!!!

  19. Joel says:


  20. X-stacy says:

    Uh, Hebert, that Guardians of the Galaxy one isn’t mine. I mean, I did win that one, but the one you put up wasn’t my entry. Second thoughts? 😀

  21. Zaheelee says:

    “How dare you take a break from the action in a Godzilla movie! You must be punished!”

    Never actually seen it, but Jeff complains about it all the time, so…

  22. Tango says:

    2) I have a big head, and little arms…
    3) T-REX GOT NARDS!!!
    4) HAHAHA! Oh man, those tiny guns of yours are too funny!

  23. dblade says:

    “I whip my tongue back and forth! I whip my tongue back and forth!”

  24. ajw says:

    1.Extinct my ass!
    2.I’m not compensating! I just happen to love huge guns.
    3.Meanwhile in Queens: Forget about Godzilla!I’m here now and I’m all that’s coming.
    4.Never doubt the skill of two fingered hands!
    5.GRAGHargahgagah…….oop I’m out.

  25. Pandademic says:

    “I think we made a few mistakes in that last leap, Al.”

  26. ajw says:

    retract #4(cuz he has 4 fingers)

  27. kyle says:

    king Kong has nothing on me!

  28. Mr.Chris says:

    “ITS A TRAP”
    “Which one of you threw that car into my apartment window?”

  29. Mr.Chris says:

    “Seriously. I just ate a blowpop, what color is my tongue?”

  30. Myro says:

    1. “I just want to know where the Godzilla auditions are being held!|

  31. HairWhip says:

    “I’m the Hunchback of NotreDIE!!!!!!!!!!”

  32. HairWhip says:

    Let’s play Policeman!

  33. Steve says:


  34. Steve says:

    I Love You, You Love Me, Let’s Team Up and Kill Police!
    With a great big tongue thats 2×4 Lets go kill and kill some more!

  35. Steve says:

    *BLURPPPPP* Whoo, That was a big one!
    *Fans With Tail*

  36. Tool says:

    Captain Dino Can’t be stopped by your little weapons!

  37. 1. “It’s Chuck Norris’ urine!”
    2. “Preparing to fire tongue-missile!”
    3. “It’s not a tail!”
    4. “Oof! Police car to the nards!”
    5. “I asked my doctor about Celebrex, and look at me now!”

  38. ajw says:

    pandademic i salute you and dr sam beckett

  39. Blue Blazer says:

    1. WHO FARTED!?
    2. Bring me George Lucas and the rest of you will be spared!

  40. McKnight57 says:

    1. This is your brain on tiger blood.

    2. Where is Sam Neill? He must answer for Jurassic Park III.

    3. Shoot! I knew I shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque.

    4. Somehow giants bullets are cheaper than a shrink.

  41. Wulf says:

    1. “Life found a way, and I’m it!”
    2. “Where is Jeff Goldblum?!”
    3. “Endorse THIS!”

    Hooray for cheap “Jurassic Park” stuff.

  42. Loki says:

    and one more!
    5.”ROCK AND ROLL!”

  43. X-stacy says:

    You can’t shoot me! I’m endangered!

  44. Malfar says:

    Everybody stand still, I dropped a lens!

  45. Connor says:

    Who’s winning now, Charlie?!

  46. borntobealoser says:

    Going with the fact that this guy is a Nazi Dinosaur:

    1. Great, so being a dinosaur is fine. But being a Nazi is a whole other story!

    2. I haven’t seen discrimination like this since Hitler!

    P.S. This is the first time I have entered a caption contest, so I don’t know whether these are too long to fit in the bubble.

  47. borntobealoser says:

    Just a question:
    Is the prize a sketch of a heromachine character we’ve made?

  48. Hunter-Hunted says:

    1. “Denver, the last dinosaur he’s my friend and a whole lot more. Denver, the last dinosaur shows me a world I never saw before.”

    2. “I put the ‘DIe’ in ‘DInosaur’!”

    3. “Opposable thumbs, Baby! Now how do you like that??”

  49. Dionne Jinn says:

    “What are you staring at? You have never seen a talking Tyrannosaurus before?”

  50. Kytana says:

    You something like this? O….k… then i post it correct in german with translation.
    1.) “Habt ihr noch nie einen deutschen Jagdpanzer gesehen?”
    (Have you never before seen an german tank destroyer?)
    2.) “Hallo! Ich bin da. Wo bist du, Schatz?”
    (Honey, I’m home. Where are you?)
    3.) “Was?! Hier gibt es kein Oktoberfest?”
    (What?! There’s no beer festival here?)
    4.) “Wer hat meine Gummibärchen geklaut?!”
    (Who have stolen my gummi bears?!)
    An the last one in english alone because in german it sounds not good.
    5.) “My name is bone. James bone.”

  51. Antman76 says:

    I warned you not to call me Barney!

  52. borntobealoser says:

    3. …And then I said: “To get to the other side!” HA! HA!

  53. borntobealoser says:

    4. Eat bullets?! Yeah? Well eat Candy Corn, SUCKERS!

  54. Patriot_Missile says:

    1) Gojira-Hu AKBAR!! [yeah, I went there]
    2) Fin! Fang! BOOOOM!!
    3) Rawr! Lady Gaga SOLD OUT! NOOO!!

  55. The Imp says:

    1) You ever try to get jackboots on around a tibio-tarsal articulation? It freakin’ hurts!

  56. The Imp says:

    2) Yeah, yeah, I know. Green makes me look jaundiced.

  57. Frevoli says:

    – Clever Girls
    – Open the door, get on the floor, Everybody walk the dinosaur
    – I’m gonna T Reck your face
    – You’re gonna be Dino-sore
    – Crime pays for my tailoring bills

  58. Frevoli says:

    I didn’t check the older entries, so no idea that Joel and Loki had already covered the ground

  59. Knighthawk says:

    Pirates. Ninjas. I’m Dino with the gun.

    I’m a Tyrannosaurs Rex, I CAN’T put my hands on top of my head!

    Have you ever seen nails this good in The Bronx?
    I’m Faaaaabulous.

  60. Knighthawk says:

    Pirates. Ninjas. I’m the Dino with the gun.

    I CAN’T put my hands above my head. Why can’t you understand that!

    Have you ever seen nail this nice in the Bronx?
    I’m Faaabulous!

  61. Myro says:

    2. “Say hello to my little friend… huh, you guys are even smaller.”

  62. BenK22 says:

    “Dragon fart!”

  63. unknownblackpaper says:

    1) Hunny, I’m home!
    2) Who called for the GREEN PUNCH BUGGY!
    3)I thought you said this was DIET!
    4) Here kitty, kitty, KITTY!
    5) Me Rex, you lunch.

  64. SpellCheckingQuill says:

    “Don’t shoot! This suit is brand new Armani!”

  65. Alex says:

    1)Where my homiez at?
    2)Give B.I.G Daddy a kiss!
    3)Who let the dino out who who who?
    4)Seriously guys it wasn’t me ,honestly!
    5)You actually pull my finger!

  66. frankie says:

    “Vait! Don’t shoot. It’s me, Hitler.”

  67. frankie says:

    “Come on! Let me through! I can’t hold it in any longer!”

  68. Joe says:


  69. FelipeSCard says:

    WTF?! Who ate my cotton candy????!!! I kill you, bastards!!!!!!

  70. FelipeSCard says:

    I told you: I don’t need toothbrush!!! GRRRR!!!!!!!!

  71. FelipeSCard says:

    You said I had bad breath? I’ll kick your ass!!!

  72. Blue Blazer says:

    4. I’M WALKIN’ HERE!

  73. Sean Murphy says:

    1. You’re thinking of “Geico”, NOT “Gecko”!
    2. “That’s why it’s good to be…
    3. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
    4. ♪There is a rose in Spanish Harlem…♪
    5. …and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!

  74. Joel says:

    “Policemen with guns, I did Nazi that coming.”

  75. Mr.MikeK says:

    3. Now meet the REAL Master Race!
    4. I came to see Springtime for Hitler!
    5. Where is the Zionosaurus?

  76. spidercow2010 says:

    Ist das nicht ein big-ass gun?
    Ja das ist ein big-ass gun!

  77. Whit says:

    2) THIS is for making fun of me on MST3K!

  78. MrAndeed says:


  79. Frevoli says:

    @Joel ah genius, how could I miss that?

  80. borntobealoser says:

    5. Nice to see we’re taking the diplomatic approach.

  81. bookadddict1978 says:

    Which one of you took my BINKIE!!!

  82. alphaalpharomeo says:

    1)Hand over the Mario Brothers!!!!!!!!!!!

    2)Weeeeeeeeeeeeee’re Back

    3)I’d punch you but I have a big head and small arms…So shooting it is….

    4)RAWR is dinosaur for “Die”

    5)I said I wanted my eggs overeasy

  83. JWTx says:

    1. Say hello to my little arms!
    2. Me want more Cheetos. Nomnom.
    3. I only parked there for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES!
    4. Explain the last season of LOST!
    5. Seen Kyle? I know Kyle!

  84. jamesinchains says:

    I’m loving the armani suit Mr Jackson but are REAL bullets really necessary?

  85. jamesinchains says:

    Sorry…Sorry…Oops, sorry…I CAN’T HELP IT IF YOU INSIST ON WALKING INTO ME!!!!

    Oooo! They’ve started selling spud guns again? Where can I get one?

    Papa’s got a brand new bag!!!

    Stereotypical much.

  86. Anarchangel says:

    “I love you
    You love me…
    Damn it! Barney made this look easy!”

  87. Mkall says:



    i can haz cheezberger?

  88. X-stacy says:

    I just want to be LOVED!

  89. 1. Worst acid trip ever.

    2. It’s not a tumor!

    3. Am I too late for the Green Lantern premiere?

    4. Hey, buddy, got any change?

    5. Flash mob? I ain’t not stinking flash mob!

  90. Knighthawk says:

    I’m no dinosaur, I’m a Dragun!
    (dragon, dra-gun)

    Spare a dollar for a vet?

    If I eat you, does that make this a food fight?

  91. Rapthama says:

    1) That time traveling fish screwed me for good. This is not a Nazi convention!
    2) Feed me!
    3) I wanted a Nazi action figure not a pony!
    4) Stay still! I still need lots of people for my homemade human meat sausages.
    5) The dentist tried to pull my tooth out. Die everybody!

  92. Kountkill says:

    “Out of my way, I have to enter the 100th caption contest!”

  93. GtaMythMaster43 says:

    Giant milatary dinosaur with a flame thrower…’s like a shark with a chainsaw…..

  94. GtaMythMaster43 says:

    Opps, forgot, that wasn’t an entry, I’m just amused by that picture.

  95. remy says:


  96. Jon says:

    “Raptor Jesus says HI!”

  97. Joel says:

    “No, I meant I love you in a platonic way!”

  98. Rafhagane says:

    1. Godzilla called in sick, i’m here to replace him.

  99. Steve says:

    One Lick…