It's hard to believe, but this is the one hundredth edition of the HeroMachine Caption Contests! If you'll indulge me, I'm going to take advantage of this centennial episode to take a little stroll down memory lane.
I held the first Caption Contest in March of 2008. Here's the entry that took it all that first time, which was submitted by Hades:
That was a toughie, with three separate balloons by two different speakers. Nowadays I've gone all soft on you people, but back then we had to write both ways uphill in the snow. I realize that makes no sense, but after three years, why start making sense now?!
I've always enjoyed Count Libido's winner for Caption Contest 6, with one of the cleverer ad puns to date:
Generally I try to keep these very clean and kid-friendly, but I couldn't resist Rick's slightly ribald entry for Caption Contest 15:
One of my all-time favorites came the very next week by BiLLYisAkID:
I loved the out-of-left-field grim humor displayed by X-Stacy in Caption Contest 18, a preview of years of fun to follow:
Runt82 thought he was making a joke in Caption Contest 29, but in fact this power will soon be appearing in the pages of the new "Superman" reboot.
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We also got a rejected preview poster from the upcoming "Avengers" movie courtesy of X-Stacy in Caption Contest 38:
There are too many more to get into, of course, but those are a few of my favorites from the past three years. Thanks to everyone who comes by to put in their ideas, I always enjoy reading what you come up with!
And now, on to the 100th edition of the Caption Contests. The prize this week is a bit different, too -- we're going old-school, and for your prize you will get a free custom black and white character sketch of any one of your characters you like. So if you've always wanted a convention-style shot of your favorite creation all drawn up fancy-like, this is your chance!
With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:
What's not to love about Tyrannosaurus Reich?! All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!
This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!
Bread bullets!, alot better than using my midget arms to feed me!
1. “mmmmm…Bacon!”
2. “Gene Simmons, ain’t got nuthin on me!”
Bullet deflecting tongue activate!!!
BEANS!!
1) Mmm, I hear they taste like chicken.
This GTA mod ROCKS!
All I wanted was a lollipop!
Here, piggy, piggy, piggy…
Sorry. It popped into my head and wouldn’t shut up.
1. “You’ll never take me alive coppers. Meh!” (this MUST be read in the 1940’s ganster voice)
2. “Not The Mama!!” (a deep gravely voice for this one.
Behold the mighty Bubble Wand of Destiny!
PLANET OF THE APES! They’re remaking Planet of the APES!!!!
“I”M GOING TO NEED YOUR INSURANCE INFORMATION.”
(Seriously, it looks like quite the fender-bender these folks are in.)
1. Nothing fits. NOTHING EVER FITS!
2. The cake, its a lie!
1. Somebody call for an exterminator?
2. Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Good Morning America!
“They call me tyrannosaurus wrecks!”
“BRAAAAAAAP!”
“Oh wait, it’s not? Sorry, could someone please tell me how I can get to Tokyo, sorry.”
“POWER THIRST!!!”
1)this is the last time i travel though arizona without my birth certificate !
2)Why does everything I touch get destroyed!
3)If only my father would of said he loved me this would have never happend.
4)God I love detroit!!
5) And to think I was only driveing 30 in a 25 zone!
Darn you people! All I wanna know is where is the closest big & tall store is!!!
“I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME…”
Uh, Hebert, that Guardians of the Galaxy one isn’t mine. I mean, I did win that one, but the one you put up wasn’t my entry. Second thoughts? 😀
“How dare you take a break from the action in a Godzilla movie! You must be punished!”
Never actually seen it, but Jeff complains about it all the time, so…
1) THE FEW! THE PROUD! THE DINO-MARINES!!!
2) I have a big head, and little arms…
3) T-REX GOT NARDS!!!
4) HAHAHA! Oh man, those tiny guns of yours are too funny!
“I whip my tongue back and forth! I whip my tongue back and forth!”
1.Extinct my ass!
2.I’m not compensating! I just happen to love huge guns.
3.Meanwhile in Queens: Forget about Godzilla!I’m here now and I’m all that’s coming.
4.Never doubt the skill of two fingered hands!
5.GRAGHargahgagah…….oop I’m out.
“I think we made a few mistakes in that last leap, Al.”
retract #4(cuz he has 4 fingers)
king Kong has nothing on me!
“Whazzzzzzuuuppppp”
“ITS A TRAP”
“Which one of you threw that car into my apartment window?”
“Seriously. I just ate a blowpop, what color is my tongue?”
1. “I just want to know where the Godzilla auditions are being held!|
“I’m the Hunchback of NotreDIE!!!!!!!!!!”
Let’s play Policeman!
THIS IS SUCH A FUN GAME!LETS GO TAIL! HIT IT HARDER!
AND DONT LET THE BALL FALL OFF!
I Love You, You Love Me, Let’s Team Up and Kill Police!
With a great big tongue thats 2×4 Lets go kill and kill some more!
*BLURPPPPP* Whoo, That was a big one!
*Fans With Tail*
Captain Dino Can’t be stopped by your little weapons!
1. “It’s Chuck Norris’ urine!”
2. “Preparing to fire tongue-missile!”
3. “It’s not a tail!”
4. “Oof! Police car to the nards!”
5. “I asked my doctor about Celebrex, and look at me now!”
pandademic i salute you and dr sam beckett
1. WHO FARTED!?
2. Bring me George Lucas and the rest of you will be spared!
1. This is your brain on tiger blood.
2. Where is Sam Neill? He must answer for Jurassic Park III.
3. Shoot! I knew I shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque.
4. Somehow giants bullets are cheaper than a shrink.
1. “Life found a way, and I’m it!”
2. “Where is Jeff Goldblum?!”
3. “Endorse THIS!”
Hooray for cheap “Jurassic Park” stuff.
1. “HOW IS MY BREEEEAAAATH!”
2. “WHOSE THE CLEVER GIRL NOW!?”
3. “RAAAAWR MEANS I LOVE YOU!”
4. “WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW SUIT? I THINK IT IS SNAPPY!”
and one more!
5.”ROCK AND ROLL!”
You can’t shoot me! I’m endangered!
Everybody stand still, I dropped a lens!
Who’s winning now, Charlie?!
Going with the fact that this guy is a Nazi Dinosaur:
1. Great, so being a dinosaur is fine. But being a Nazi is a whole other story!
2. I haven’t seen discrimination like this since Hitler!
P.S. This is the first time I have entered a caption contest, so I don’t know whether these are too long to fit in the bubble.
Just a question:
Is the prize a sketch of a heromachine character we’ve made?
1. “Denver, the last dinosaur he’s my friend and a whole lot more. Denver, the last dinosaur shows me a world I never saw before.”
2. “I put the ‘DIe’ in ‘DInosaur’!”
3. “Opposable thumbs, Baby! Now how do you like that??”
“What are you staring at? You have never seen a talking Tyrannosaurus before?”
You something like this? O….k… then i post it correct in german with translation.
1.) “Habt ihr noch nie einen deutschen Jagdpanzer gesehen?”
(Have you never before seen an german tank destroyer?)
2.) “Hallo! Ich bin da. Wo bist du, Schatz?”
(Honey, I’m home. Where are you?)
3.) “Was?! Hier gibt es kein Oktoberfest?”
(What?! There’s no beer festival here?)
4.) “Wer hat meine Gummibärchen geklaut?!”
(Who have stolen my gummi bears?!)
An the last one in english alone because in german it sounds not good.
5.) “My name is bone. James bone.”
I warned you not to call me Barney!
3. …And then I said: “To get to the other side!” HA! HA!
4. Eat bullets?! Yeah? Well eat Candy Corn, SUCKERS!
1) Gojira-Hu AKBAR!! [yeah, I went there]
2) Fin! Fang! BOOOOM!!
3) Rawr! Lady Gaga SOLD OUT! NOOO!!
1) You ever try to get jackboots on around a tibio-tarsal articulation? It freakin’ hurts!
2) Yeah, yeah, I know. Green makes me look jaundiced.
– Clever Girls
– Open the door, get on the floor, Everybody walk the dinosaur
– I’m gonna T Reck your face
– You’re gonna be Dino-sore
– Crime pays for my tailoring bills
I didn’t check the older entries, so no idea that Joel and Loki had already covered the ground
Pirates. Ninjas. I’m Dino with the gun.
I’m a Tyrannosaurs Rex, I CAN’T put my hands on top of my head!
Have you ever seen nails this good in The Bronx?
I’m Faaaaabulous.
Pirates. Ninjas. I’m the Dino with the gun.
I CAN’T put my hands above my head. Why can’t you understand that!
Have you ever seen nail this nice in the Bronx?
I’m Faaabulous!
2. “Say hello to my little friend… huh, you guys are even smaller.”
“Dragon fart!”
1) Hunny, I’m home!
2) Who called for the GREEN PUNCH BUGGY!
3)I thought you said this was DIET!
4) Here kitty, kitty, KITTY!
5) Me Rex, you lunch.
“Don’t shoot! This suit is brand new Armani!”
1)Where my homiez at?
2)Give B.I.G Daddy a kiss!
3)Who let the dino out who who who?
4)Seriously guys it wasn’t me ,honestly!
5)You actually pull my finger!
“Vait! Don’t shoot. It’s me, Hitler.”
“Come on! Let me through! I can’t hold it in any longer!”
“DIE AMERICANS, DIE!”
WTF?! Who ate my cotton candy????!!! I kill you, bastards!!!!!!
I told you: I don’t need toothbrush!!! GRRRR!!!!!!!!
You said I had bad breath? I’ll kick your ass!!!
3. I’VE GOT BIEBER FEVER!
4. I’M WALKIN’ HERE!
5. I’M MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
1. You’re thinking of “Geico”, NOT “Gecko”!
2. “That’s why it’s good to be…
Me.”
3. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
4. ♪There is a rose in Spanish Harlem…♪
5. …and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!
“Policemen with guns, I did Nazi that coming.”
3. Now meet the REAL Master Race!
4. I came to see Springtime for Hitler!
5. Where is the Zionosaurus?
♪Ist das nicht ein big-ass gun?
Ja das ist ein big-ass gun!♪
2) THIS is for making fun of me on MST3K!
THAT WAS MY PARKING SPACE!!!!
@Joel ah genius, how could I miss that?
5. Nice to see we’re taking the diplomatic approach.
Which one of you took my BINKIE!!!
1)Hand over the Mario Brothers!!!!!!!!!!!
2)Weeeeeeeeeeeeee’re Back
3)I’d punch you but I have a big head and small arms…So shooting it is….
4)RAWR is dinosaur for “Die”
5)I said I wanted my eggs overeasy
1. Say hello to my little arms!
2. Me want more Cheetos. Nomnom.
3. I only parked there for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES!
4. Explain the last season of LOST!
5. Seen Kyle? I know Kyle!
I’m loving the armani suit Mr Jackson but are REAL bullets really necessary?
Sorry…Sorry…Oops, sorry…I CAN’T HELP IT IF YOU INSIST ON WALKING INTO ME!!!!
Oooo! They’ve started selling spud guns again? Where can I get one?
Papa’s got a brand new bag!!!
Stereotypical much.
“I love you
You love me…
Damn it! Barney made this look easy!”
ME GRIMLOCK WANT CHEESEBURGER!
or
i can haz cheezberger?
I just want to be LOVED!
1. Worst acid trip ever.
2. It’s not a tumor!
3. Am I too late for the Green Lantern premiere?
4. Hey, buddy, got any change?
5. Flash mob? I ain’t not stinking flash mob!
I’m no dinosaur, I’m a Dragun!
(dragon, dra-gun)
Spare a dollar for a vet?
If I eat you, does that make this a food fight?
1) That time traveling fish screwed me for good. This is not a Nazi convention!
2) Feed me!
3) I wanted a Nazi action figure not a pony!
4) Stay still! I still need lots of people for my homemade human meat sausages.
5) The dentist tried to pull my tooth out. Die everybody!
“Out of my way, I have to enter the 100th caption contest!”
Giant milatary dinosaur with a flame thrower…..it’s like a shark with a chainsaw…..
Opps, forgot, that wasn’t an entry, I’m just amused by that picture.
xD
I TOLD YOU YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!
“Raptor Jesus says HI!”
“No, I meant I love you in a platonic way!”
1. Godzilla called in sick, i’m here to replace him.
One Lick…