Poll Position: Yeeeaaah, I’m gonna need those TPS Reports …

We've all worked for a crappy boss before, the kind of guy who makes you wish your cubicle were soundproofed and invisible. Now imagine if that walking bag of hammers had super-powers. Yeah, scary. Which brings us to this week's Poll Position:


Discussion to follow!

  • Batman: A brilliant, ruthless, utterly driven man. He's the kind of boss who'd make you come in on Saturday AND Sunday, and when you protest that it's your wife's birthday looks at you like you're speaking Alien. Which he also speaks, but he'd never tell you that because to him, you're pretty much useless. Out of all the guys on the list, I'd vote him Most Likely To Use Me As An Expendable Decoy.
  • Cyclops: A proven leader. A bit stiff and humorless, but you don't have to go have beers with the guy after work, he just needs to keep you alive and unpossessed by demons or aliens or mutants. Or all three at once. Those, he dates.
  • Reed Richards: On the one hand, you can rely on him to rescue the team from whatever transdimensional bad-ass is threatening the multiverse that day. On the other hand, he's probably the reason why that transdimensional bad-ass is threatening the multiverse that day.
  • Professor Xavier: Driven to get the most out of his charges, generally supportive, allows his team to be empowered (literally and metaphorically), lives in a mansion where he lets you crash whenever you want. On the other hand, forget about lying when he asks if you were working on that report or playing Solitaire all day.
  • Superman: Superman's a bit too much of a lateral thinker for me. I want a guy who thinks around a problem instead of reflexively reaching for the "Smash" button.
  • Captain America: Inspiring, honest, strong, clever, loyal, and generous. The kind of guy people would die for, only he wouldn't ask you to die for him because he'd be there first. Plus he can't read your thoughts, always a bonus in a boss or spouse.
  • Iron Man: Prick.

My vote is pretty easy, frankly -- I'd go Cap all the way. However, I can see how his ultra-patriotic, holier-than-thou kind of attitude would grate.

Who would you pick to work for? You can add your own answer if you don't find any of these compelling, but please don't make me go in and delete yours. That makes me grumpy.

Edited to Add: Sadly someone proved incapable of maturity and added an option that was as stupid as it was inappropriate, so I've turned the "add an answer" option off and probably won't ever use it again. This is why we can't have nice things.

(Image © DC Comics.)

24 Responses to Poll Position: Yeeeaaah, I’m gonna need those TPS Reports …

  1. Wade says:

    Cool, I was the first one to vote. Anyways, I picked Cap. Wasn’t because you picked him, its because he’s the most down to earth as well as the best leader out of all of them.

  2. X-stacy says:

    Iron Man. Because he might be a jackass, but he’s got the money to actually pay you, and he’s more fun to be around than Batman.

  3. BenK22 says:

    Mine’s a toss up between Cap and the Bats…both would be good, but in different ways. And you could always count on someone to have your back. Though Batman might first put you in danger before getting you out of it.

  4. Mr.MikeK says:

    I can honestly say I voted before I read your excellent analysis. Cap is the guy you want leading you all the way. The MU has its share of good leaders on both sides of the fence, but Cap always stands head and shoulders above the rest. Of course, I’m assuming that you mean Steve Rogers and not the current Cap. Bucky is making a good Cap, but doesn’t have Steve’s leadership ability or character.

    Teams in the DCU just seem to be a group of superstars that kinda work together with the exception of any team lead by Batman. In that case, just read Jeff’s comments in the discussion.

  5. Oquies says:

    I think you were a bit harsh with batman there but, that doesn’t mater to me because I would want Xavier. I have worked for bosses who didn’t even know how to do their job yet they still told me how to do mine. I would want some one smart enough to know what every one is doing.

  6. The Imp says:

    I voted for Xavier. That’s a guy who actually empathizes with his ’employees’ and is right there with them.

  7. thejay says:

    I choose Supes. He’s a good guy, and yet not a managery manager. You can probably slack off as he literally does all the heavy lifting.

  8. TopHat says:

    He’s called ‘Captain’ America for a reason people.

    The guy actually knows tactics.

  9. Timespike says:

    I’d be fine working for either Cap or Nightwing. Y’know what those two have in common? They’re both NICE.

  10. Hammerknight says:

    “Walking bag of Hammers.” I’ll have to use that quote sometime.

  11. I voted for You. Because You would be a great boss. And I’d have your job before the end of the day! Muhahahahaha…

    Second choice would be Iron Man. I agree with X-stacy, the guy might be a jerk, but his checks don’t bounce. And the Christmas parties! Oy!

  12. TheRandomHERO says:

    I gotta go with Wolverine. I know he’s not portrayed as a leader in most comic books, and a loan wolf type. But the super/mutant powers I’d like to have would be just like his (with a few differences) and his mindset and style are pretty much how I see myself operating.

  13. William A. Peterson says:

    I voted for J’onn, mostly for the whole telepathy thing, AND for the fact that he doesn’t routinely use said telepathy to screw with his friends, allies, and assorted passerby (sound like anybody we know?) He also has a lot of other useful powers, and, hey, if we need him to, he can LOOK like Batman!
    Cap would be a good choice, as well, and Reed’s actually pretty good, most of the time, if you can get him to pay attention to the problem at hand.

  14. Amscray says:

    Though I voted for myself, I’d go with The BATMAN. Seriously, what’s up with The Outsiders lately, huh?

  15. Sean Murphy says:

    Wow. Someone added Barney and the option remained, but another added choice was worse enough to force the option to be turned off? Am I the only one whose morbid curiosity is piqued?

  16. Jeff Hebert says:

    Sean, it wasn’t a character, it was just profanity. Sadly I had to delete an ACTUAL entry, Green Arrow, as it was stuck in the middle of the ones I had to delete.

  17. Danny Beaty says:

    It’s amazing how one bad apple can ruin things for everyone.

  18. Jeff Hebert says:

    Well, I probably over-reacted a little in that comment during the heat of the moment (like I would EVER do that!) by saying I’d never do add-an-option again. I just need to be more vigilant about weeding out the bad ones.

  19. Myro says:

    I’m going with Captain America, and I’m a Canadian. The overt patriotism may be a little awkward, but Steve Rogers is one of those “lead from the front” kind of guys that can be respected.

    I’m not completely opposed to working for Tony Stark, but I’d be worried about him hitting on my girlfriend/wife/female significant other.

  20. Captain Evil says:

    A toss-up between Captain America and Cyclops. Went with Cyclops, because people tend to underestimate his leadership skills grossly.

  21. X-stacy says:

    Myro, if you bring your girlfriend/wife/female significant other (or all three) around for Tony Stark to meet…well, whose fault is that?

  22. mr wannabe says:

    hulk cause his and idiot he let u do anything naruto shuld be and option:D

  23. The Silver Fox says:

    I wish Optimus Prime was on the list, as I would follow that guy to heck and back.

  24. Myro says:

    X-stacy (21): It’s fiancee at the moment, actually.

    So, you’re saying I would be better off coming stag to the Stark Industries Christmas Party then?