With a special thanks to the HeroMachine Facebook group for most of these suggestions, our question of the week veers away from the various permutations of "Whose ass would Wolverine or Batman kick" to something more light-hearted:
I really wanted to open this up to let you add your own suggestions, but in the past that hasn't gone very well -- someone inevitably submits an offensive or wildly immature entry and I have to go in and delete it. But hey, that's what comments are for! So let me put on my Very Serious Scholar face and take a look at the options.
- Howard the Duck vs. Bat-Mite: I have to admit, the juxtaposition of the very serious and grumpy Howard with the ultimate in Bat-absurdity would be a fun one. I hope there would be a scene where Howard puts his cigar out in Bat-Mite's eye.
- GI Joe vs. The Avengers: This is the most "serious" one on the list, and I have to admit a Mark Millar-scripted confrontation between the Ultimates Avengers and the GI Joe team would be pretty fun.
- Cannonball vs. Bulletman: Talk about your "head to head" matchups ... I think Dodge should definitely sponsor this for their Ram trucks.
- Power Pack vs. Great Lakes Avengers: I know the Power Pack was supposed to be "serious" comics fare but come on -- little kids in skin-tight leotards and space boots? With a talking horse friend? That's only slightly more ridiculous than the Great Lakes Avengers.
- Mr. Fantastic vs. Plastic Man: As commenter Gene Howard said, I'd like to see this but I refuse to untangle the resulting knot.
- Ewoks vs. Care Bears: The upside here is, no matter who loses, WE win.
If I sit back and ask myself "Jeff, what would you most like to see on a comic book page?", I have to first assure my wife that talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy. Necessarily. Then I have to admit to myself that I've been sneaking Twinkies behind my back. Slut!
But after THAT, I know that watching Care Bears and Ewaks off each other in glorious four color mayhem would make me almost unutterably happy. So that gets my vote. How about you?
And though it's not on the list, this is the kind of fun I'm talking about:
Care Bears vs. Ewoks. If for no other reason than you would have them all in place, whereupon you could drop a nuke on the lot of ’em and do everybody a favor.
Wouldn’t be much of a fight, though, would it? Ewoks being little furry killing machines who will destroy the universe if they get off their moon, and Care Bears wanting to talk everything to death….
I must be the only person on Earth who LIKES the Ewoks! I think the sight of those murdering, macho stormtroopers being torn apart by an army of angry teddy bears is absolutely hilarious!
BulletBall vs. Cannonman! I would love to see two heroes fling themselves at each other with devastating speed, over and over and over again.
For a serious story, yeah the Avengers vs. G.I. Joe would be cool – maybe in some alternate universe during the Civil war. The Joe team is tasked with gathering up the rebellious super heroes.
I could see cannonball and bullet man throwing themselves against each other, over and over again, each time putting more energy into it, until their collision reaches critical mass and destroys much of the surrounding landscape.
That picture above of Mr. Fantastic is just wrong, And as entertaing as it would be, I don’t know if I want to see that. They too could reach some sort of ‘elactisity critical mass’ and fuse into one tentacled being. Uck.
For a serious story, yeah the Avengers vs. G.I. Joe would be cool – maybe in some alternate universe during the Civil war. The Joe team is tasked with gathering up the rebellious super heroes.
I could see cannonball and bullet man throwing themselves against each other, over and over again, each time putting more energy into it, until their collision reaches critical mass and destroys much of the surrounding landscape.
That picture above of Mr. Fantastic is just wrong, And as entertaining as it would be, I don’t know if I want to see that. They too could reach some sort of ‘elasticity critical mass’ and fuse into one tentacled being. Uck.
The ewoks would tear the care bears to bloody little pieces….or stuffing…or rainbows – whatever is in those things. The only downside there is that the Ewoks would make hats and vest out of the care bears skins, and well that would just look…..creepy. An Ewok dressed up as a care bear? Could be the beginning of the end for the Ewok Civilization.
So, I guess my final vote would be for The serious book; The Joe team taking on the Avengers in some sort of Civil War Cross over. Snake Eyes could have totally taken Cap down. 🙂
Well that was weird, disregard the first #5 post. Don’t know how it got posted.
Wait, what?
Okay, Jeff. Now I really want to see an Ewok wearing a Carebear hide hoodie. I’m officially requesting a sketch of the day.
Really. This is going to disturb my dreams until it is purged.
I second Bael’s request. That is just to odd to pass up.
GLA vs the Power Pack would be GREAT. Think of all the hilarious ways the Power siblings could kill Immortal Man with their control over the fundamental forces of the universe.If they run into any trouble Squirrel Girl would be the trump card. She’s got Thanos and Dr. Doom to her name.
An Ewok wearing a carebear suit would be rather interesting. I think people are giving the carebears too little credit though. They have magic rain bows and could magically wish the ewoks to a magic far away place.
And the thing is, the Ewoks might LET them! Honestly, they’re more likely to interbreed than fight.
Rather than GI Joe versus the Avengers, who waaay surpass their ability to handle, I think a GI Joe VS SHIELD mini could be quite cool.
Jurisdictional problem? 😉
Back in the 90’s, I used to want to see Bad Girls like Catwoman, Shi, and Ghost beating up the Baywatch girls….
Ooooh… how about Iceman (X-Men) vs El Diablo (Freedom Force)?
Going off of what darkvatican said, I think GI Joe vs. SHIELD would be pretty cool, given their history. In ’82, I think, Larry Hama of GI Joe comics fame pitched an idea to Marvel about Nick Fury’s kid leading a strike force against Hydra. Marvel said no, so when Hama found out Hasbro wanted to reboot/restart their GI Joe line, he approached them with the “elite strike force vs. terrorist organization” idea he pitched Marvel, but with the details changed. In fact, Hama wrote the file cards on the GI Joe figure packages for about the 1st 10 years the toys were on the market.
DIE, EWOKS!!!
The Joes versus SHIELD would be cool, but I went for Cannonball versus Bulletman…
Of course, I also liked it when they collided two Steam locomotives at top speed!
Adding my vote to have a picture of an ewok wearing care bear skins. Seriously, the care bears got nothing! Though the thought of them interbreeding is what’s going to leave me awake at night. All the cunning and predatory nature of an ewok combined with the higher (comparatively) intelligence and magic of a care bear, then multiply their cuteness factors together and… ::shudder:: Well, I’d rather not think about it.
I’d like to see the regular universe avengers not ultimate up against G.I.Joe, but i just had to vote for ewok vs. carebears,please add that ewok wearing carebear hide picture please, please, please, please!