Caption Contest 79: Ride 'em, cowboy!

With many thanks once again to the inestimable "Glenn3", whose "Say What? Pictures" keep me well stocked with Funny, your challenge for this week is to come up with the funniest replacement dialog for the following random comic book panel:

Leave your entry in the comments to this post by next Monday, at which time I'll pick the funniest one, the author of which will receive his or her choice of either any item they like, or a portrait, to be included in the final HeroMachine 3 version.

Good luck everyone!

102 Responses to Caption Contest 79: Ride 'em, cowboy!

  1. Avatar Galahad says:

    “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener!”

  2. Avatar Galahad says:

    “Get along, little doggie!”

  3. Avatar thejay says:

    “Remind me, exatcly what version of ‘Monopoly’ are we playing?”

  4. Avatar thejay says:

    “You could get anywhere with a weener big enough.”

  5. Avatar Knitesoul says:

    I have to say that this one is pretty interesting. Its a wonder what people were thinking when drawing stuff like this.

    Some Entries:

    1) “So do I win by a footlong?”

    2) “Hey, don’t be a brat-wurst.”

    3) “My pony has a first name, its O-S-C-A-R….”

  6. Avatar thejay says:

    “…I’m the man YOUR man could smell like. New odors of ‘Old Spice’. I’m on a sausage.”

  7. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    1.”Hey,check out those buns!”

  8. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    2.”Hurry,we need to KETCHUP to the others!”

  9. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Obviously, my new improved Viagra has unexpected side effects!

  10. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    3.”That’s the last time I buy a hot dog at Churchill Downs!”

  11. Avatar Mr. Q says:

    Taming the Italian Stallion Sausage is not as easy as it sounds.

  12. Avatar thirdborngr says:

    “Oh no! FREUD WAS RIGHT!”

  13. Avatar Me, Myself & I says:

    Where am I going to find enough CONDOMents for this weiner?

  14. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    4.”Hurry up,boy.Joey Chestnut is gaining on us!”

  15. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    5.”When it says they plump when you cook ’em…”

  16. Avatar GalacticKetchup says:


    “It was only ketchup!”


    “This isn’t a Dachshund!

  17. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:


  18. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    7.”This is one ride I will always RELISH!”

  19. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:


  20. Avatar Oquies says:

    “Wait a second…This isn’t a wiener dog!”

    “Hurray, I am the wiener!”

  21. Avatar PetesWilly says:

    “Alright, Your the wiener I’m the bun come on over and lets have fun!”

    <3 Brutal Legend

  22. Avatar Nathan says:

    “Ugh, I think I like the Weinermobile better.”

  23. Avatar Me, Myself & I says:

    “Your are what you eat.”

  24. Avatar Aaron says:

    I wanted my girlfriend to ride the sausage….not me.

  25. Avatar Hammerknight says:

    1.”Holy Hoofing hot dog Batman.”
    2.”Is this kosher?”
    3.”Mustard the troops, We have to ketchup with the Chili and Cheese bandits.”

  26. Avatar joel says:

    horses always have the biggest wieners.

    and I thought stem cells were bad.

    I hope this isn’t going to be a boner for me.

    They should never have commissioned Picasso to create a mechanical bull.

    try my new, four foot, long wiener!

  27. Avatar Tim says:

    1) “I like fast food as much as the next person, but THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!”

  28. Avatar Knitesoul says:

    4) “I’m so hungry, I can eat a horse!”

    5) “Is this what they mean by ‘Man vs Food’?”

  29. Avatar Jason says:

    1) No! Not towards the Mayonnaise!

    2) I’m NOT overcompensating!

    3) I thought mounting him was going to be hard, but the ride is a real pain in the butt.

    4) Yeah ladies, i’m hot to trot.

  30. Avatar BNE says:

    “Ok Weiner, we only have the burger and the lamb chop to pass and we win the race.”

  31. Avatar remy says:

    1. John Wayne, eat your …uhh…HEART out

    2. There’s a lesson here: Never put ketchup on a hotdog

  32. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    9.”This is the worst bachelor party ever!”

  33. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    10.”Making balloon animals is alot harder than I thought!”

  34. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    11.”Here comes the Galloping Gourmet!”

  35. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    Hi gang! There is no limits on the number of entries we can submit, soooooooo…

    1. Hello, and welcome to today’s episode of “The Galloping Gormet”!

    2. Now for something completely different!


    4. You think this horse-dog looks stupid, you should see the centisausage!

    5. If Liza Minelli were here this would be the perfect gay wet dream!

    6. Now I’ve seen EVERYTHING!

    7. A guy riding a giant, galloping hot dog! It’s whacky!

    8. I should have paid extra for the saddle and reigns!

    9. Horse-Dog, the weiner that whinnies! At the refreshment stand!

    10. How do I get myself into these crazy situations?

    11. I told the genie I want to travel and I want all the food I’ll ever need! Guess I should have been more specific!

    12. When I said “I’d like a hot dog to go”, I didn’t mean like THIS!

    13. Where can I find a pot big enough to cook this thing?

    14. Hey everybody, dinner is on me! I mean I’m on dinner! Oh, just get over here and eat the damn thing!

  36. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    12.”Uh-oh,I think that Weight Watchers class just spotted us!”

  37. Avatar Tim says:

    2) “Run Mister Ed Run!!!”

  38. Avatar invisiboy says:


  39. Avatar rancid says:

    1.”jane stop this crazy thing”
    2.”the F.D.A is going to hear about this”
    3.” now thats fast food”

  40. Avatar Mike says:

    1. Excuse me sir, could you direct me to the nearest condiment suppository?

    2. I have absolutely no idea what I was smoking back there, but I need more of it.

    3. Hot dog Man, hot dog man! Does whatever a hot dog can!

    4. I’m sorry, but squiggly lines seem to have erupted from my bowels.

  41. Avatar Johnny Grey says:

    Please, god – if I survive this, I swear I’ll never drop acid again!

  42. Avatar Aaron says:

    “Can I also get a Large Coke?”

    “This is the last time I super-size a meal”

    “Well I shouldn’t complain….AT least it’s not a rat”

  43. Avatar Galactic Ketchup says:

    Hey-ho Silver, awayyy!

  44. Avatar Patrick says:

    Horsemeat! What makes you think it’s made of horsemeat?

  45. Avatar frankie says:

    “Would you believe that this has an all natural casing?”

  46. Avatar Sivad says:

    Help! The 1700’s Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile’s got me!

  47. Avatar Tim says:

    3) “The Cheeseburgers are coming!! The Cheeseburgers are coming!!”

  48. Avatar joel says:

    this is the wurst.

    five dollar, five dollar foot long!

    I found the missing link!

    in HEINZ sight this was a bad idea.

    You think THIS is big, wait till you see MY hot dog.

  49. Avatar X-stacy says:

    Well, that’s it. There’s no regaining my dignity now.

  50. Avatar kyle says:

    1)my wiener is always on the go!
    2)next up is Johny and his salami.
    3)I go where my wiener takes me!
    4) his name is Oscar Meyer and boy he sure is a wiener!

  51. Avatar TopHat says:

    1) I really hope this doesn’t end up on the internet…

    2) “Go to Sausage- land” they said “We’ll have fun” they said. Oy…

    3) Well, it sure beats the ‘other’ type of horse weiner.

  52. Avatar Rendu says:

    “This is still better than being a giant turtle. >sigh<"

  53. Avatar Deadeas says:

    “Thank god Freud isn’t here.”

  54. Avatar Scorpidius says:

    And what makes you think I am a sausage jockey? Is it the lilac suit??

  55. Avatar TopHat says:

    4. “I bet other silver age characters don’t have to put up with stuff like this. Oh wait, it’s the silver age”.

  56. Avatar Fabien says:

    1 Go the fast food.
    2 We want free slave saussages ! Beware evil cookers.
    3 I ride west to kill the evil saussage beast on my saussage horse.
    4 I’m saussage rider. My H.E.R.O cadrant needs repairement.
    5 fear the wrath of captain Junk Food, the evil genius of the evil cooking.

  57. Avatar Dan Gonzalez says:

    Man! I am NOT looking forward to telling my therapist about this dream. Why do I have such bad gas?

  58. Avatar Gero says:

    Jeff, you have to use the one of the kid crying in bed as Superman undresses behind him for the next caption contest. It has to be one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen!

  59. Avatar Jack Zelger says:

    Stand back! I can’t control my weiner!!

  60. Avatar Alex says:

    1)Quick, follow that Bun on wheels!
    2)Take that Lucky Luke!
    3)B’wana Beast really messed up this time!

  61. Avatar X-stacy says:

    Would you put that camera away and help me already?!

  62. Avatar remy says:

    3. Fine, fine, we don’t have to circumcise f

  63. Avatar remy says:

    woops that f was not supposed to be there

  64. Avatar X-stacy says:

    This sounded better in the brochure.

  65. Avatar Oquies says:

    “I have a feeling people would read the story of my life.”

    “Wow, I thought I was a good sales man. How did that guy ever convince me to buy this thing?”

    “Some times it isn’t about getting there its about the journey there.”

    “Ride the bucking sausage for 60 seconds and win $1,000,000!”

    “I would rather be sailing.”

    “I wonder why the F.D.A. put a recall on this?”

    “If you don’t knock it off right now I am going fry you for the eating contest!”

  66. Avatar frankie says:

    “Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?”

  67. Avatar Montana Player says:

    1. I haven’t felt this awkward since high school gym class.
    2. I swore to myself I wouldn’t experiment like this after college!
    3. What color kryptonite WAS that anyway?

  68. Avatar Loki says:

    1.”Well this is just odd!”

  69. Avatar Decolda says:

    1) walls sausages, stop horse’ing around!
    2) my wiener is on speed!
    3) i cant control my wiener!
    4) woah! slow down their Pork Stallion…
    5) All this meal needs is some magic mushrooms…
    6) i swear, i am not going to eat you…
    7) Mumma always said fast food is bad for you!
    8) Mash! slow down boi!
    9) i wished for a bigger wiener thats fast and hard… not this!
    10) Im a buisness man, not a cowboy butcher!

  70. Avatar Me, Myself & I says:

    “And people wonder why my kids are picky with their food.”

  71. Avatar Me, Myself & I says:

    “That’s not a Weiner, this, this is a weiner!”

  72. Avatar ajw says:

    let’s go, back there they treat you like a piece of meat.

    i never thought id touch a wiener in public.

    this is closer to a wiener than ive ever wanted to be

    oh great now the whole town knows i have a huge wiener.

    down boy now everyone cans see you!

  73. Avatar Tim says:

    4) “Does this make my ass look big?!”

  74. Avatar BenK22 says:

    1. When you ride a weiner, the radio’s always in your butt.
    2. At least the meat isn’t spinning.
    3. Can you hear me, now?
    4. Please hold, your fax is coming in now. What? Yes, I’m still in first, Mom.

  75. Avatar Patrick says:

    When I said hot dogs gave me the trots, this is not what I meant!

  76. Avatar adm says:

    hot digity dog we got em now

  77. Avatar X-stacy says:

    This…this isn’t what it looks like.

  78. Avatar Ben says:

    Like a typical male, I’m always led around by my weiner.

  79. Avatar joel says:

    Hi, Billy Mays here with “Wiener away”. do you ever have trouble controlling your wiener? well now there’s an answer.

    Let’s be frank here.

    nothin’ beats horsing around with your wiener!

    Now to insert this into a large set of buns!

    well, at least it’s healthier then the food you get at Mc-Donalds

    this situation seems to have AROUSED my intrest.

  80. Avatar Kalkin says:

    What is this? A really blatant metaphor to avert Comics code censorship?

  81. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Damn Genii! I said a four-FOOT weiner, not four footed!

  82. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Just practicing for when that dreamy Superman comes out of the closet.

  83. Avatar Skybandit says:

    I wonder what Luthor was going to do with this genetic experiment anyway?

  84. Avatar Skybandit says:

    I thought Comet turned into a centaur.

  85. Avatar The Imp says:

    1. “Hi, I’m Jimmy Olsen, and I endorse Horseages, the Walking Sausages!”

    2. Never tell Myxlplyx you wish you were hung like a horse.

  86. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Wonder why baby unicorns use their hooves to break out of their shells instead of their horns?!

  87. Avatar Skybandit says:

    This is the third horse I’ve saved from the glue factory with this disguise!

  88. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Thanks, Professor Potter! This should satisfy that giant turtle woman!

  89. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Got a trash bag? I don’t want to get Rita Farr pregnant!

  90. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Wonder Woman has some strange pets!

  91. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Chicks dig guys with big wieners.

  92. Avatar Galahad says:

    And the ladies say, “Save a horse, ride a hot dog!”

  93. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    13.”Fear not,citizens! GASSY LAD and WIENER HORSE will save the day!”

  94. Avatar Steve M. says:

    “This is easily the third strangest thing to happen to me today.”

  95. Avatar Skybandit says:

    “Oscar Mayer has a way
    Of recombining DNA”

  96. Avatar Skybandit says:

    Fast food.

  97. Avatar Grip says:

    1) Hot Dog Hot Dog Hot Diggity Dog!!

    2) Grill em’ Horsey!!

    3) Feel The Burn!!

    4) Be the Weiner Of This Race!!

  98. Avatar remy says:

    My apologies, miss. I appears my wiener is attracted to you.

  99. Avatar remy says:

    My apologies, miss. It appears my wiener is attracted to you.

  100. Avatar PsyckoSama says:

    So would any of you fine, fine ladies like to take a sausage ride?

    I haven’t had this much trouble with a disobedient wiener since middle school!

  101. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    1) ALL RIGHT! All right. Yes, I’m gay.
    2) This is not what I meant by “maybe I should get into racing dogs!”
    3)This is the wurst experience of my life!

  102. Avatar Decolda says:

    you think this is weird? look at that stuff coming out my ass!