Poll Position: Evil!

Our Poll Position question this week is pretty basic:


On to the completely fruitless, yet nonetheless entertaining, speculation!

Evil is more than a bad haircut and a rainstorm ...

  • Batman: I'll be honest, sometimes it's hard to tell that Batman isn't already a bad guy. He fights cops, causes unmitigated property damage, has a complete disregard for laws and rights, beats the living hell out of everyone he meets, and operates strictly according to his own code of justice. But to be fair, he does protect innocents and stops the worst of the worst. I would see Evil Batman as Bruce finally deciding that so-called "super heroes" are actually causing more harm than they prevent, and so need to be brought down. Why would humanity succumb to rule by these aliens, mutants, and overlords who govern by might? Batman is the only one allowed to do that! So, yeah, it would be interesting, but not really, because it's not that different from how he is now. Pass.
  • Iron Man: Like Batman, Tony Stark already is pretty much a law unto himself. To his credit, he does his best to keep the horrific weapons that he is responsible for developing from wreaking more havoc. But he's also not that far away from the dark side himself. I would see Evil Iron Man as taking over as using his vast financial resources to run for, and secure, the Presidency of the United States in an effort to "protect" people from the scourge of meta-humans. Oh, wait ...
  • Spider-Man: I know that in theory they tried this in "Spider-Man 3", but as the caption says, you need more than black clothes, a bad haircut, and a sneer to be a real bad guy. I could see Peter finally just getting sick of the hate and oppression he gets from New Yorkers and saying "screw it". I think his evil would not be as much Dr. Doom-level grandiose ambitions of global rule, as Kingpin-level "I need to protect myself and the people I love, and I needs to get paid" type stuff. Could be interesting. They pretty much did this with Daredevil relatively recently and it was a great series.
  • Superman: Yes, I know, "Red Son" and all that. And it was cool. I want more. Good Superman is boring, I'd love to see him take out the JLA some day when he got bored. Again, wait, that's been done, in "Invincible". And it was cool.
  • Thor: Gods are, to some degree, above the whole petty "label" thing mortals put on them. Too often people forget that Thor isn't really Dr. Blake, he's really a freaking GOD. I could see Thor, like the Batman scenario above, finally deciding that humanity has fallen too far from their true path. Yes, he'd put down governments and conquer everyone, but it would be for their own good.
  • Wolverine: Evil Wolverine wouldn't be that different from Good Wolverine. He'd just stop holding back when he went up against the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, kill most of them, and then rule the survivors. Also, he'd arrange an accident for Cyclops and steal Jean for himself, finally.
  • Wonder Woman: How could someone as supposedly obsessed with the rights of women NOT be fighting against most of the world's governments at this point?! Evil Wonder Woman would not be so much evil, as opposed to most of the cultural actors she sees as being responsible for the subjugation of women. And it would be cool, because she'd get a Mohawk and wear BLACK y'all!

So there you have it. I'd frankly choose Wonder Woman because otherwise, she's fairly dull. Although a truly pissed off Thor finally deciding to kick humanity's ass would be fun too.

The worst part of Wonder Woman would be having to see the horrible, skin-tight leather S&M outfits they'd put her in, since apparently that's "evil". Whatever.

So who would you choose?