We've got a two-balloon Caption Contest this week, so make sure your funny is double-barreled, kids. If you can come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this comic book panel:
You'll win any item, or a portrait of yourself, to be included in the final HeroMachine 3 program. The rules are simple:
- No more than three entries per person;
- All entries must be left as a comment (all in one comment or separate ones, doesn't matter) to this post;
- Must be relatively clean, appropriate for broadcast on late-night network TV, for instance.
That's it! Good luck everyone, we'll post the Finalists for voting next Monday.
Oh, also, make sure it's obvious which part of your entry goes in which balloon. For instance:
Entry 1:
Balloon1 - "Don't make my hand angry!"
Balloon2 - "Because you won't like it when it's angry!"
Yes, that sucks, but it's on purpose so I don't scare you off with my Super Sense of Humor*.
* Actual Superman power.
Balloon1 – “Not only am I the Hair Club President, you buffoon…”
Balloon2 – “…I’M ALSO A CLIENT!!!”
Balloon 1: You’ve got my notes?
Balloon 2: Well, I’ve got your nose!
Balloon 1: I told you to leave the Super Heroes ALONE!
Balloon 2: I’m REALLY Sorry about this.
1)
Balloon1: “Hey quick question!”
Balloon2: “DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED TO YOU?!”
1.
Balloon 1: So you want to join the Green Movement?
Balloon 2: Welcome aboard!
2.
Balloon 1: If you think my hand smells bad…
Balloon 2: Get a whiff of this bird.
Entry 2:
Balloon 1: “Although I can clearly see your hair, eyes, nose and mouth…”
Balloon 2: “Let’s see who the man behind the mask REALLY is!”
Balloon 1: I told you what would happen if you made me say it again…
Balloon 2: When you sneeze, COVER YOUR MOUTH!
Balloon 1: I’ve been using a new lotion…
Balloon2: Are my hands any softer?!?!
2)
Balloon 1: “Hey! Get out of here!”
Balloon 2: “I’m having a private moment!”
1) Balloon 1: I want you too…
Balloon 2: SNIFF MY FINGER!
2) Balloon 1: Tell me…
Balloon 2: DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED TO YOU?!
3) Balloon 1: How dare you…
Balloon 2: ASK ME FOR A PROMOTION!
Gang, let’s do this!
1. Balloon 1:Don’t walk in on me…
Balloon 2:when I’m changing!
2. Balloon 1:Red means stop…
Balloon 2:green means DIE!
3. Balloon 1:My bird isn’t dead…
Balloon 2:IT’S JUST RESTING!
1: My banana!
2: YOU ATE MY BANANA!
Balloon 1: Can you feel my ANGER through this Vulcan Mind Meld?
Baloon 2: All I asked was for you to FEED MY BIRD while I was AWAY!
1: Talk to the hand–
2: ‘CAUSE THE FACE AIN’T LISTENING!!
1. “You recorded over the last episode of Glee???”
2. “NOW YOU SHALL DIE!”
1: LIAR!
2: This isn’t an Oprah’s Book Club selection!!
1. Balloon 1: NO!!! You idiot!
Balloon 2: THIS is how you do a facepalm!
2. Balloon 1: Okay, I’m going to put my hand on your head and order the demons out…
Balloon 2: Say, did my hand just turn green?
3. Balloon 1: You have Disturbed Tiax the Grand! Such insolence!
Balloon 2: Tiax will place a mark of shame upon your forehead!
b1: I SAID!
b2: Smell my finger.
b1: arise chicken!
b2: and HEAL THIS HATCHLING!
b1: listen to your inner bovine
b2: Give into the MOO!
Balloon 1: I was doing my taxes…
Balloon 2: You shall pay for your interruption
Balloon 1: Mr. Hero…
Balloon 2: You forgot to mention you hideout on your taxes.
Balloon 1: Who am I….
Balloon 2: Mr. Fantastic or the Green Goblin?
B1: I told you…
B2: I’ve HAD it with the green thumb jokes!
B1: No, I didn’t miss a spot!
B2: It’s called a “soul patch”!
B1: I ask for a fresh banana…
B2: And you bring me THIS!?
B1: Yeah, yeah, I’m bald…
B2: But you’ve got the booger hand on you!
B1: You’re not so brave when I pull out…
B2: The yellow vibrator of DOOM!
B1: How many times have I told you?!
B2: No costumes in the Dean’s office!
first bubble: I don’t care if you are studying to be an anti-hero Mr. Rudgers.
second bubble: THERE WILL BE NO SWEARING IN MY SCHOOL!!!
Entry 1
Balloon 1: Did not you hear President Nixon?
Balloon 2: Watchmens are over!
Entry 2
Balloon 1: What did you say?
Balloon 2: Heroes are not the work of consumerism, you hippie!
Entry 1
Balloon 1: I now pass the curse onto you…
Balloon 2: …cheese hand!
Entry 2
Balloon 1: It isn’t a bananna…
Balloon 2: and I’m not happy to see you!
Balloon 1: Give me-
Balloon 2: -YOUR FACE!!!
Balloon 1: You said I would grow hair on my palms if I kept doing it….
Balloon 2: BUT YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS!
1. Stop taking notes you fool!
2. Learn to meditate like I do!
1. Go Green to save the earth?
2. I’ll show you Green!
1. No library card?
2. You kids are mindless idiots!
@TopHat: You might want to check out my #4 comment. We have the same entry.
3)
B1: Calimah! Calimah!
B2: Calimah!!!
B1 Don’t like to eat your bananas?
B2 We’ll see about that!
Balloon1: “Eat ‘green’ hand hero boy.”
Balloon2: “It’s not only good for the enviroment, but it’s good for your colon too.”
Balloon1: “Shut your hole. Your breath is foul.”
Balloon2: “Arrgh! My hand. Now it is fowl.”
Balloon1: “Yes, I am the Green Talon. But I’m still your teacher.”
Balloon2: “So, if you let me win, I’ll change your score. Agreed?”
Balloon1:”It’s not just any hand.
Balloon2:”It’s a DFS hand ,oh and it’s green.
Balloon1: “What nice hair you have…”
Balloon2: “We wants it!!!”
ok I know I did my 3 so don’t count this one…I just couldn’t resist one more.
Balloon 1: That’s enough Ryan!
Balloon 2: Will Colin Mocarie always e teased for his lack of hair?
Entry I
Balloon 1: “So you want my Rocketeer-brand personal massager!?!”
Balloon 2: “Nuh-uh! Talk to the HAND!!!”
Entry II
Balloon 1: “You should have read the sign, Mr. Stretchpants–”
Balloon 2: “–No Talking In The Library!!!”
Entry III
Balloon 1: “Good, you HAVE heard of Twister…!”
Balloon 2: “Say ‘Hello’ to Left Hand Green!”
Balloon 1: DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY ACTION FIGURE! Balloon 2: HE HAS KARATE CHOP POWERS!
Entry 2
Balloon 1: HE’S NOT A DOLL! HE’S AN ACTION FIGURE!
BALLOON2: SAY IT! SAY HE’S AN ACTION FIGURE
Balloon 1: I have one question, Liefeld…
Balloon 2: WHERE ARE MY FEET?
Balloon 1: You give me the bird?
Balloon 2: I give you the FINGERS!
This is not an entry, just a nitpick: Ever try to say “MMMFF” through gritted teeth?
Balloon 1: For the last time
Balloon 2: STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF!!
Balloon 1: So you sold those “corrected” rates for students…
Balloon 2: …Well, no more! You are banned!
Balloon 1: I teach you to respect…
Balloon 2: …the Superprincipal!
Balloon 1: So, you think red and blue goes well together?
Balloon 2: How about different colors of green? H?!
B1: I don’t want your damn tracts!
B2: I already HAVE a religion!
Balloon 1:I say, I say, I feel the power
Balloon 2:NOW BE HEALED!
Balloon 1: What did the 5 fingers say to the face?
Balloon 2: SLAP!!
LOL! Do I look like the kind of guy that would put his green fingahs all over somebody’s face? Yeah I remember doin’ that.
Balloon 1: This Ain’t Sparta!
Balloon 2: This Is Madness!
Balloon 1: Fool!
Balloon 2: Don’t bother me when I’m finger-painting!
B1: STOP IT!
B2: No more jokes about my little cock!
(Okay, so that one will get summarily dismissed as a contender. But a cock was a male bird first, you know…).
1)
Balloon 1: I told you, son…
Balloon 2: THIS is what messing with those hookers will do to ya!
2)
Balloon 1: Since you like eating bananas so much….
Balloon 2: Does THIS look ripe enough, for ya?!
3)
Balloon 1: Green? Doesn’t know how to man the desk?
Ballon 2: WHO THE HELL PUT YOU IN CHARGE, ANYWAY!?!?!?
Entry Number 2:
Balloon 1: BEHOLD!
Balloon 2: My kung fu action arm grip ™!
Entry 1:
1. For the last time,
2. BE QUIET IN THE LIBRARY!
Entry 2:
1. I asked for this hankie over an hour ago,
2. AND NOW LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED!
1. Get that Gum out of your mouth!
2. It’s mine!
Balloon 1: For the last time: Rusty Venture
Balloon 2: DOESN’T DO AUTOGRAPHS!!
(you have to admit it looks like him, just with a white beard instead of an orange one…)
Entry 1:
1.If you want me to stop say:
2.mMMFf!
Entry 2:
1.If you don,t like my green hand…
2.wait till you smell my GREEN FOOT!
Balloon 1 I’m about to flip you…
Balloon 2 …THE BIRD!
Balloon 1: Mad? Of course I’m not mad!
Balloon 2: Even my canary will tell you that!
Entry 3:
1.See this is what happens when you shake hands with Al Gore!
2.Learn from my mistakes!
Entry 1:
Balloon 1: You know the rule!
Balloon 2: I’M the only one who can do facepalms!
Entry 2:
Balloon 1: Hand!
Balloon 2: Apply directly to the forehead!
Entry 3:
Balloon 1: For God’s sake!
Balloon 2: I gotta pop that frickin’ zit!